POCD and Dating

So I recently met a guy at work and I totally fell in love with him. He’s so sweet and kind to me, and I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend. Not only are we dating but we have become best friends! We laugh and sing and joke about all kinds of things and it makes me so happy. I’m on a discord server for queer people in my state and I told them about him, and I mentioned that we have a 3 year age gap, I am 20 and he is 17. Mind you, he does NOT look 17. My friends and family say he looks at least 20. Anyway, the people on the discord exploded at me and told me I’m a p*** and a predator for dating a 17-year-old. I spent hours crying in my room over this, as it made me extremely upset. When I was 14 I suffered an extreme episode of POCD and I’m afraid this situation has brought it back. I’m really scared and anxious about this.

anonymousgal12

Date posted: Yesterday

the biggest thing that i had to learn with my relationship is to look at your relationship just through YOUR eyes. these people have no clue how your relationship is, and they are not responsible for your happiness, you are. if you’re in love and happy and he treats you right, the rest of the world can sit back and watch. everyone is so different and sees things in very different ways. maybe think of it as a view of handwriting, some people are left and some are right handed, it doesn’t mean one is better than the other. it’s just what you prefer and what works best for you. i wish you luck in your relationship and it sounds like a lovely one!

damnation

Date posted: 13h

I don't doubt you have POCD, but they are right to call you out over this. I dont know what country you are in, but regardless 20 and 17 is considered an inappropriate age gap. Dont blame OCD for this. Using the fact that he doesnt look or "act" 17 is not an excuse to pursue minors for a romantic relationship.

somewhereonv...

Date posted: 11h

@damnation This is really insulting…I’m not blaming OCD for anything. I wasn’t going out looking for minors to date as you implied…I met him at work and we just really liked each other. If I was 19 what would be the implication there? An 18 and a 21 year old is okay but at 17 and a 20 year old is not?

damnation

Date posted: 10h

@somewhereonvenus You werent looking for minors but you went through with dating one. Youre moving the goalposts. Id think Pocd would make someone more hypervigilant over such a thing...

somewhereonv...

Date posted: 10h

@damnation You know it would’ve been easier for you to just say you don’t think I have POCD, which I quite literally have been diagnosed with. Also, I’m 20, not 25. I was a minor myself three years ago. And I’m not “moving goalposts,” I’m questioning your logic.

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