Has anyone experienced this?

School started and for the past three days at school, my feelings toward my boyfriend have felt really confusing and different from how they normally feel. I still showed up for him and did things naturally, like holding his hand, leaning on his shoulder, kissing him, talking to him, and sometimes genuinely wanting to be close to him, but emotionally everything felt much more muted. Sometimes I’d look at him and feel almost nothing, sometimes I’d feel disconnected or numb, and other times I’d have this light anxious or static feeling in my chest. My brain kept asking me if I even loved him, why I didn’t feel the way I used to, if I was losing him, if I actually wanted to stay, or if I was just acting like I cared. Had a major spike last week where I was wondering if I did love him and if I wanted to break up with him, and I’ll be like fine I don’t then I’ll force myself what it’s like without him and I regret it . It was really bad since he didn’t talk to me during that week ( strict parents and he works late) then I keep giving up because it felt so real. It’s like I try to think back what we did together but it made it seem like I lost him or he’s slipping away from me . It scared me and I’ll get him something and it will feel fake. After that major spike, everything became strangely blank and muted. Now my brain doesn’t feel as loud or panicked as before, and sometimes I just feel normal, numb, or emotionally flat. Then my brain notices that I’m not panicking and uses that as another reason to question whether I care about him. Even though I’m muted, I still want to hold his hand, lean on him, cuddle him, sometimes kiss him, take care of him when he’s tired or sad, hear his random facts and stories, annoy him and have him annoy me back, and imagine us being lazy together and playing our calming game. I can remember good memories with him and sometimes want to talk to him about them and smile, but I don’t always get the warm or lovey dovey feeling I expect. Sometimes I’m happy with him while still feeling a light anxiety underneath it, and other times I just feel blank. I don’t know whether this muted feeling means my feelings for him have changed or whether my brain is exhausted from constantly checking, especially because my therapist said my brain might be tired from repeatedly doing these checks and might be having trouble figuring out what I actually want. She also mentioned something like ambivalence in relationships and desensitization. Now I feel stuck between wanting to understand what my feelings mean and being completely exhausted from trying to figure them out.