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- 5y
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- 5y
I remember having a similar experience years ago except my response was groinal.
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- 5y
And how are you now. Do you currently have a gf or how did your hocd evolve ?
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- 5y
@Ionut Currently have a girlfriend with whom I get lots of healthy groinal responses. Confusing right?
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- 5y
@ProsperwithOCD Nah man not really. When I think of men or something it feels weird it really feels like something fake down there no matter how strong is it but when i get boners thinkin about girls it feels somehow natural and healthy
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- 5y
@ProsperwithOCD No. I just can’t accept gay thoughts I just can’t. They make me sick
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- 5y
@Ionut Especially imagining myself with a man like in a 3rd person perspective that is the worst.
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- 5y
@ProsperwithOCD Yes... because my mind keeps telling me that I will like it
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- 5y
@ProsperwithOCD Who the hell likes anxiety. No, and i dont want to satisfy a obsession by sleeping or even watching gay porn. That would be wrong.
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@ProsperwithOCD Yeah I see.. hmm makes sense
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- 5y
I have been there too and it’s so scary I know :( I still do have hocd
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- 5y
I’ve had it for almost a full year now in mid January... I don’t want to be like this.
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- 5y
@tinyTROLL13 We all need to learn to manage it.
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- 5y
@ProsperwithOCD I don’t feel like that possible, I feel like I’m always gonna live in fear of it.
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- 5y
@tinyTROLL13 I think medication could help you see things in a new way. Do you have a therapist?
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- 5y
@ProsperwithOCD No I don’t know how to bring it up to my mom, I told her about everything I was feeling when I first started having HOCD and she didn’t help much, she was asking me if I was actually gay and I felt so hurt that she actually thought I could be... I don’t know I probably just over reacted, I just feel like my life is over and I’m just going crazy.
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- 5y
@tinyTROLL13 Success stories might help. I’ve had a lot of success managing myself, but ultimately I think a therapist could do wonders if your family will not.
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- 5y
@ProsperwithOCD Thank you, I want to go to a therapist but I just need to figure out a way to bring it up to my family... but what if I go and I end up not having ocd, what if I’m just crazy?!
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- 5y
@tinyTROLL13 Omg same I told my mom and she kind of freaked out
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@tinyTROLL13 I also had a mental breakdown after telling her that and the months that followed have been going in anxiety and stress
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- 5y
@lemondew Yeah even though I know my family would still love me even if I was gay, I still am so scared that I am. The last few months I’ve bin living with the mindset of, “If I can’t live the way I want to live or love the way I want to love, them what’s the point of living at all.”
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- 5y
@tinyTROLL13 Same but at some point we have to accept that things could change in the future. That's something I realized after having a long talk with one of the members
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- 5y
@tinyTROLL13 you are not crazy. Please don’t even allow that thought to come into your mind. I remember when I had this fear years and years ago. And I remember telling my mom (at the time we didn’t think anything about OCD) until I started looking online (which can be bitter sweet) in my case it was “sweet” because I came across many forums of people feeling the exact same way. So if your family doesn’t understand, you can always try a different approach with starting the conversation about OCD and inform them a little about it. And maybe even mention how there are sooo many different sub-types of it. And tell them you feel going to a therapist would be the best step for you. (And I’m not a professional, but I have always remembered this, make sure you go to an actual therapist and not just your PCP or family doctor-it was one of the first things my professor said on the first day of my psychology class) because you want someone who understands and specializes with the mind. **not knocking PCP’s at all-they are just not always as well versed in the way the brain plays these tricks on us**
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- 5y
Thank you, I’m gonna try and talk to my mom about it before the month ends. I’m gonna try and keep my head up high and try to not have a mental breakdown... again ?
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- 5y
@tinyTROLL13 you can do it! I once read this analogy and it has stuck with me for years! OCD is like a monster that know what will hurt you the most and that is what it attacks. Therefore you have two options, you can either give into the monster (which would be giving into the compulsions, whether they are physical actions or mental actions) and by acting on these compulsions you are feeding the monster and he is gaining the fuel that it needs to grow stronger and stronger. OR you can starve him! Which would be to ignore the obsession when it comes into your head. That way the monster doesn’t get that fuel it needs and it will eventually grow weaker and weaker until it doesn’t have any energy left to fight. And then you have won that battle. Just always remember you are stronger then you think. You are more worthy then you may think. You are taking the first step in taking your life back and that’s what matters and shows your true strength. Always remember that and don’t ever let anyone bring you down! Especially this OCD monster
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- 5y
YEAH!!! YEAH YOURE RIGHT!! Now I’m actually kinda excited about getting help now, thank you!!!
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- 5y
wrong for me* i dont have such a big problem with the gays outthere but thinking about me in such a situation.. God... it would feel like on of the biggest mistakes and regrets of my life.
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- 5y
@ProsperwithOCD I promise mysef and to God, I won’t. Idk man.. i recently told my crush i like her .. she rejected me .. i haven’t had no gf so far.. and yeah.. times are hard now but i know we all gonna get better..
Related posts
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- 25w
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
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- 22w
Im a 21 year old female in a straight relationship with the best guy a girl could ever ask for. About 2 months ago, I went to get coffee with a friend and as I dropped her off, I got a “weird” vibe from her and the look she gave me which lead to the thought of “should I kiss her”….Ive never had a thought like that before and I never have ever wanted to kiss another girl. I have also never had a desire to be with another girl (sexually or romantically). Now though, I have had one other experience of being with a different friend going to get lunch and it felt weird. Ever since then I have been on google non stop with hundreds of different searches, questioning if im lying to myself of my boyfriend, wondering about my past relationships even though Ive only dated boys, been attracted to boys, crushed on boys, etc… boy crazy! Reading on other forums has been a big thing too or doing quizzes. I believe its SO-OCD but im so scared that what if its not. I am in therapy and actually had two weeks of not even thinking about it or googling it until yesterday. I dont know what to do.
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- 22w
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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