Has anyone experienced this?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a long time, and recently my feelings toward him have felt much quieter than they used to. I remember having stronger feelings like “aww, he’s my baby,” “he’s so handsome,” butterflies, excitement, romantic feelings, and physical desire. Now I sometimes look at him, including his face, side profile, or lips, and feel nothing. This makes me worry, “Do I still love him? Did we grow apart? Do I find him boring now? Am I forcing my feelings?”At the same time, I still have spontaneous positive reactions toward him. When I saw him after several days, I automatically felt happy and immediately started talking to him. When he texts me, I sometimes smile and get happy. I naturally grab his arm or scoot closer to him, and being physically close usually feels warm and comfortable but I feel nothing sometimes. Sometimes I spontaneously want to kiss him. I enjoy listening to him talk, relating to his stories, and interacting with him. When I imagined being single or him leaving me, my immediate reaction was that it felt very upsetting. I also said that even if the romantic spark stayed quieter, i just want to know why. I would still want to be with him. What confuses me is that sometimes I feel nothing at first but still naturally move closer to him. Often the warmth or connection comes afterward, although sometimes I remain neutral. When I look back on these moments, I can start questioning whether I actually enjoyed them, even though in the moment I was usually comfortable or warm. I feel like I’ve lost access to the intense romantic “surge” I used to have. I want to look at him and naturally feel “WOW, he’s incredibly handsome” or “aww, that’s my baby” again. Sometimes I see a picture of him and genuinely think he’s cute or sexy, but then I compare that feeling to another moment when I felt nothing and start worrying that something has changed. I don’t if it’s because In late July or early August I forced myself to think of sexual thoughts if girls and vividly imagined it and it felt real like i actually experienced it . It happened for two or three weeks. I don’t know if that made my feelings more quiet or not accessible towards my boyfriend because I forced my feelings on those vivid thoughts. The biggest thing I’m struggling with is uncertainty about what my feelings actually mean. I keep wondering if I still love my boyfriend, if my romantic feelings have genuinely changed, if we’ve grown apart, if I actually enjoy being with him, if I’m forcing my feelings, why I can’t access the romantic excitement I used to have, why I can sometimes feel something and other times feel completely blank, and whether sensations or thoughts about other people mean I’m attracted to them. I barely test myself intentionally anymore, especially at school . It’s like my OCD is more comfy at home but the questions still appear when I notice that my feelings aren’t as intense. I’m trying to understand whether my feelings genuinely changed or whether anxiety, stress, emotional exhaustion, familiarity in the relationship, and my previous checking have affected how strongly I experience or access my emotions. What I want help with is understanding what is actually happening without turning every feeling, sensation, thought, or lack of feeling into evidence. I want to learn how to distinguish genuine relationship changes from getting caught in analyzing my emotional state. I don’t want to force myself to feel romantic feelings or label sensations as attraction. I want to be able to experience my relationship naturally without constantly needing to know whether I feel “enough.”