feeling lonely / please advice

slip ups happen don’t beat urself up! i know it’s scary and i get like this too when i have a episode that i didn’t have in a long time.. i feel that shame and guilt. i haven’t dealt with the dissociating and derealization so i cannot comment on that, but ive had moments of breakdowns and ruminating like crazy because of my relationship ocd. the best thing u can do now is acknowledge and accept the help your getting (medication + psychiatry) proud of you for that step!! and maybe try to connect with people and do things for yourself on your free time. i go to a support group at a local church and it’s an open meeting for women only or men only. We all share about what’s going on in our lives (no judgement) and hearing other people’s stories and receiving their support is so helpful and refreshing! good luck

I understand the desire to push people away or hide when life becomes hard for you. I would Like to say, “slip up” implies in somewhat that you did something wrong. When a mental or chronic illness gets bad again, I like to call it a flair up, and treat it as if I am ill- because that’s what it really is. You didn’t do something wrong to cause your OCD to have a flair up, it just happens. I used to constantly push people away when I had flair ups, but I’ve learned that to have real deep relationships we have to allow others to help us. We can’t be the only ones to take care of others. Especially in long term life partner relationships- there will be days where you both are going through it and have to support each other. A good relationship cannot survive if only one part of it is allowed to struggle openly and receive help. Be proud that you sought out help professionally because you are doing the opposite of isolation right there! Having an open conversation with your partner about your past experiences with OCD and derealization, and what you’re experiencing now could help to alleviate your fears and also help them not be so scared as well. Leaving them in the dark on what’s happening with you is probably not helping right now, and explaining here isn’t reassurance seeking- it’s more being vulnerable and doing the opposite of your (possible compulsion) to self isolate.