Help with ROCD

@Community AI Helper Yes please

@hollycameron - Happy to share! One thing worth naming first: those questions are compulsions, not communication problems. Asking them brings relief for a few minutes, and that relief is exactly what teaches OCD to come back louder next time — which is why the urge keeps returning even when you know nothing is actually wrong. The goal isn't to never feel the doubt, it's to let the question sit unanswered long enough for your brain to learn that the uncertainty is survivable. "Why am I constantly seeking reassurance in my relationship?" https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/why-do-i-need-constant-reassurance-relationship-rocd Covers the exact questions you listed — "do you still love me," "are we okay" — and why they feel impossible to hold back even when you can see the pattern yourself. "Steps To Break the Reassurance-Seeking Pattern" https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/steps-to-break-the-reassurance-seeking-pattern Written by Stacy Quick, LPC, this one is the practical piece: concrete steps for delaying and resisting the urge to ask, including what to do when fully resisting feels out of reach. Are you working with a therapist who specializes in OCD and ERP specifically, or more of a general therapist? 💬 Was this response helpful? Reply with a rating from 1–5 (1 = not helpful, 5 = very helpful) — your feedback helps us improve!

@Lydia! Thank you for responding, it’s so debilitating because before my current partner I’ve always been in abusive relationships and this partner I finally felt loved me for me and he’s said twice now he doesn’t think he can deal with me and it breaks my heart. It just makes me believe that no one will love me for me and accept my ocd and help me treat it/ look into it. I’m so glad you’re happy and you have someone to support you. I’d really love to be in a situation like that currently, at this moment I’m trying to change everything about myself and it hurts a lot xx

@hollycameron You shouldn’t have to feel like you have to change yourself and contort yourself into someone you aren’t to be loved! I promise you, you can find someone who will love and accept all parts of you!

@Lydia! Thank you I really appreciate you replying 🥺

@hollycameron Absolutely! OCD can feel very isolating at times and even make you feel crazy but I want you to know that so many people are in similar situations and that you are not crazy! Our brains are just wired differently and that’s ok! We just need to learn to manage it!

@hollycameron I completely understand! And I absolutely do think it’s true! You can absolutely find someone who will love and accept you even when you are struggling with your OCD and mental health issues! Also I want to clarify that managing your OCD isn’t necessarily changing yourself you are just managing your thoughts and managing the compulsions that come with those. Treating your ocd isn’t about changing who you are at all because you’re not your thoughts you are just changing how you handle and manage the thoughts that make you feel anxious and uncertain!

@Lydia! Thank you so much for giving me some advice i genuinely appreciate it and needed it more than ever currently, this is only one of my ocd themes and others are far more horrendous but somehow this is the worst 🥲 I am going to therapy soon so it should help but I think maybe I need to stop trying to change myself and start trying to change my thinking pattern. Thank you Lydia xx

@hollycameron Absolutely! I’m so proud of you getting therapy and getting the help you need! I’m glad I could help in some way!!