my bf is on vacation with his friend. its 23:22 and he didnt Text me for hours and it makes me so exteemly nervous. my mind instantly goes to hes cheating, hes getting drunk and doing whatever stuff to other women im legit panicing. i dont want reassurance but Tips in how to not crash out generally ajdkskkoyösnem
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@annxiety666 - Happy to share! One thing worth naming: the panic isn't just the thought that he's cheating — it's everything the doubt pulls you into afterward. Checking your phone, watching the timestamp, mentally running through what he might be doing or who he's with, drafting the message that would settle it. Those are compulsions, and the relief that comes when he finally texts is exactly what makes the next silence hit harder. Since you said you don't want reassurance, the most useful thing you can do in a moment like tonight is delay rather than resist perfectly — set a short window before you check or text, and let the anxiety be there without answering it. "Learn how to stop OCD compulsions through five strategies" https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/if-youre-struggling-to-resist-compulsions-try-these-5-strategies-instead This is the one to read for what you actually asked for — five concrete things to do when the urge is at full volume and white-knuckling through it isn't working. "Relationship OCD (ROCD): Signs, Symptoms, and Treatment" https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/relationship-ocd Explains why doubt about a partner can feel this urgent and physical, and what treatment looks like for the exact loop you're describing. Is this something you've been navigating on your own so far, or have you had a chance to talk to anyone about it? 💬 Was this response helpful? Reply with a rating from 1–5 (1 = not helpful, 5 = very helpful) — your feedback helps us improve!
Hey I have been struggling a lot recently with someone who I love who is leaving me on read and not talking to me and it’s really been eating my alive frankly so I know the sorts of places your mind goes to when you don’t hear from someone you love when you expect to. I really did a poor job managing compulsions during this time and it resulted in me doing things I regretted like sending too many texts and trying to get them to talk when they weren’t ready yet. So my advice would be to develop some disengagement phrases like “I am having the fear that ____ and it might be true and it might not be, but I don’t have to figure it out right now.” and when you find yourself cycling a lot something more concise like “I don’t need to engage with that right now” I find is useful. I would try to focus on yourself and what brings you joy—have a fun meal, watch a movie, play a game, take a walk, call a friend or family member. Trust me as I am writing this I kind of feel like it is bullshit advice because this didn’t help me at all the last few weeks but the last few hours i’ve experienced a little bit more peace because i’ve done a better job of disengaging with compulsions. That really is the ultimate key to beating ocd. General anxiety and depression on the other hand, still figuring that out.
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