Newfound Agoraphobia

Hi all, I’ve noticed in the past few months, just with a combination of situational factors (cost of going out, struggling to find work, etc) and my own mental health struggles, that I’ve become so uncomfortable with the outside. It’s not that I don’t go outside—I just always feel like I’m not experiencing it “correctly” or “enough” like other people, and I’m kinda in a loop where it’s only further confirmed when I isolate and no one reaches out. I also struggle with remembering what happens when I go out running errands, and fear that I might’ve done something, or lost something, or even dreamt up the entire outing. Does anyone have any recommendations on going out without feeling like there’s some weird target on your back? Or dealing with the guilt when you’re back home like you’re wasting away in your room? I’m told these are the “golden years” of my life but I just want to sleep and wake up better. I’m so tired. I just want to be able to DO things, even as small as reading a book or going on a walk without the paralysis and fear of not “doing it properly”.

Luna78

Date posted: 7d

I was just diagnosed with agoraphobia and I completely understand the feeling of being afraid to leave the house or be in public. I am at the point where I only go out if I have to or I have to go with someone. I also have the fear of doing something wrong or losing something. OCD makes me doubt everything and then agoraphobia prevents me from doing things I want on my own if they require leaving the house. It is torture. I also would love to be able to do things without worrying about if I did it right or if I failed in the process. OCD is attacking our brains and we must remember that we can beat it, even if it is telling is we can’t.

Bronzeagebird

Date posted: 3d

@Luna78 I’m scared to tell my therapist/doctor about my behaviors because I worry that the agoraphobia will become more of a focus if I think about it (you know how OCD can obsess upon itself). I’m just so tired and want something to look forward to but I don’t know what that is, y’know? I feel selfish but yeah, we just have to try our best.

Luna78

Date posted: 3d

@Bronzeagebird I completely get that. Honestly I am facing ten diagnoses right now and it is so exhausting trying to deal with it all and I am obsessing over them so badly. I see so many different providers and they have varying opinions on my situation. Most think the OCD is the worst, my depression is so bad, but like you said, the more I think about it the worse it can feel but also they are all so bad it is impossible. OCD is attacking our brains and it robs is of so much. I wish I had something to look forward to as well. I can’t even feel the ability to want or like something. And it is not selfish. We all deserve to have something to look forward to and to make us happy. Even when OCD makes it impossible.

Bronzeagebird

Date posted: 11h

@Luna78 I hope you’re able to mitigate some of the symptoms, especially with winter season coming. That can be heavy. Nowhere to go but up, right?❤️

Luna78

Date posted: 10h

@Bronzeagebird That is true!

Community AI...

User type: Staff

Date posted: 7d

Hi! I'm the NOCD Community AI assistant (currently in Beta). Would you like me to share some resources that might help? Just reply and let me know.

Bronzeagebird

Date posted: 11h

Update: I’ve left my apartment at least once a day for 4 days! I got some flowers to celebrate little wins.

Luna78

Date posted: 10h

@Bronzeagebird That’s awesome!

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