Is this “just right” OCD? Need ERP suggestions

My therapist and I have been reassessing what kind of exercises I need to be doing to make progress because we realized that perfectionism is a huge part of my internal experience. It looks something like this: I feel like things are wrong or not put together correctly. As if I’m trying to stack blocks inside my head but they keep wobbling and falling over and I can’t figure out how to place them so they don’t fall. I spend time feeling upset that something isn’t going to go quite right but I can’t figure out what that thing is or how to make it go right. Little things like doing chores or going to the gym feel like a ton of effort because I just can’t feel good about them, so I can’t even start. Feeling like one of those things didn’t go the way it should have makes me upset in a way that feels irrational. Time keeps ticking on and the day ends without a feeling of satisfaction. I get stuck with this feeling and just want to “get away from it” or “fix something”. But it is so unspecific and moves around so much that you can’t pin it down. Something is always wrong, but I can’t find it. Even if I do find something that is imperfect, it is so small or not important that it feels ridiculous to freak out about it. Or it’s something that is just a fact of life/normal human experience, like not getting to bed on time or not having a perfectly balanced meal. Everything comes with rules that even I don’t always know until one is broken. I haven’t seen anything on “just right” or “perfectionism” OCD that isn’t about redoing tasks or fixing physical items. I’m not sure that this even is OCD since I don’t know anyone else who experiences it. I also have no idea how to target it in exposures. If anyone understands this, please give me any advice you have.

Anonymous

Date posted: 16h

I am pretty new to ERP, so I don’t have a ton of advice, but I struggle with these same issues. For me it feels like I’m always trying to “optimize” my day-whether it be my diet, sleep schedule, work schedule, study schedule, etc. When the tiniest thing goes “wrong”, it feels almost like I’m in the upside down world for the rest of the day, and I feel like I can’t get anything else done. I don’t do a ton of physical reorganizing, most of the obsession seems to be inside of my head. Hopefully this helps a little! My issue definitely feels like OCD to me.

ElenaMarceline

Date posted: 15h

@Anonymous I’m glad there are others who relate, this has been happening for years without me having a good grasp on what it was or how to describe it. It’s so exhausting! Thanks for replying ❤️

eelaaiinaa

Date posted: 10h

I totally relate to this. For me it manifests in the “just right / symmetry” category. My ERP exercises for that looked like: 1. Arrive to work five or ten minutes later than you usually do. 2. Don’t light your work candle (disturbing the ritual of coming to work and my routine) 3. Purposefully do things out of order

ElenaMarceline

Date posted: 10h

@eelaaiinaa This seems really good. My problem is that being late and not having a routine is kind of my norm. I overthink it daily, so my conception of what I “should” do is constantly changing. I haven’t been able to settle on anything because nothing seems correct enough to stick to or even start :(

eelaaiinaa

Date posted: 9h

@ElenaMarceline Is there anything that feels constant to you?

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