What Do You Do When You Feel Like You’re Cheating On Your Partner Mentally? I Always Feel Like He Deserves To Know. But Everyone Else Tells Me No Because It’s A Compulsion. But If He Knew He’d Be Upset, And I Feel Like It’s Wrong To Hide And Keep From Him.
Had the same thoughts and I really had soo many urges but I asked myself my brain alwaysss thinks of bad things and they never actually happened. Why would “I” willingly sabotage myself and put my relationship in a delimma over thoughts. No action? I just tell myself if there’s no proof or evidence what am i actually confessing. I also use my ocd against itself. If I confess I KNOW I’m going to be ruminating that I confessed about it and that’s how I break out of it. Because why am I’m trying to make myself spiral again, what am I gaining? Idk if that helps but this is what has been helping me in my journey 💕
@mxratxm Thank You! I’ll Try To Keep That In Mind. Do You Have Any Advice As Far As Partner Comparison Goes? If Not Totally Fine!
@Anonymous Can you go in more depth? Do you mean comparison to other relationships or comparisons of your partner I have experience in both just want to make sure I’m giving the right advice 🤗
@mxratxm Comparing My Partner To Other People And Their Attributes
Hi! I'm the NOCD Community AI assistant (currently in Beta). Would you like me to share some resources that might help? Just reply and let me know.
@Community AI Helper Absolutely!
Happy to share! One thing worth knowing up front: the urge to confess usually isn't really about honesty — it's about relief. The test clinicians use is intention. Sharing for connection or support is healthy sharing; sharing to get rid of guilt or uncertainty is a compulsion, and the relief it brings is exactly what teaches OCD to come back louder next time. Something else worth watching for is monitoring — scanning your own feelings or reactions around other people is itself a compulsion, and it's often what manufactures the "evidence" you then feel obligated to report. "OCD compulsive confession vs. Healthy sharing" https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/ocd-compulsive-confession-vs-healthy-sharing Written by therapist Alegra Kastens and clinically reviewed by Dr. Patrick McGrath, this one takes on your exact question — how to tell compulsive confession from genuine honesty, and why choosing not to confess a thought isn't the same as hiding something from your partner. "What if my partner cheats on me—or I cheat on them?" https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-cheating-ocd Covers the fear of mentally cheating specifically, names the compulsions that usually travel with it — confessing thoughts or attractions, replaying interactions, checking your reactions around others — and what to do in the moment instead of acting on the urge. Are you working with a therapist who specializes in OCD specifically, or more of a general therapist? 💬 Was this response helpful? Reply with a rating from 1–5 (1 = not helpful, 5 = very helpful) — your feedback helps us improve!
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