- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
ah same, i feel so out of touch, wish i could go back to when i was younger, even though i still had it, it’s never been this bad
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- 5y
Yeah me too, im holding on to hope so damn hard.
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- 5y
@elleeen me too but i continue to lose it and the realization of the fact that i’m so close to giving up is scary
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- 5y
@flowerboy Jup same. Hocd and rocd together is awful, makes it feel even more real
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- 5y
@elleeen mhmm :,(
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- 5y
@elleeen literally can’t even have a crush without constantly second guessing myself wtf is that supposed to mean? like how am i supposed to get in any relationships??! ahhhhhh
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- 5y
@flowerboy i have lost attraction towards my boyfriend, and i dont know whats real anymore. But im holding on, but i know it breaks my heart. I cant sleep and i cry all the time
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- 5y
@elleeen i’m so sorry about that i can’t even imagine how much that sucks being in a constant guessing game with ur head, i hope u figure things out <3
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- 5y
@flowerboy Yeah me too. This is a nightmare, i dont want it to be true.
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- 5y
@elleeen are you going to therapy or on any medication?
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- 5y
@flowerboy starting therapy soon. Im so fucking afraid that i cant hold on to hope, and that im just gonna break it of because i cant handle the pain. I love him so much that it hurts, but ocd makes me even doubt that too.
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- 5y
@elleeen it’s ok u will figure things out and therapy will definitely help figure ur thoughts out,, have u talked to ur bf about this?
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- 5y
@flowerboy Yes some things. But im gonna tell him more when i see him, because its getting pretty dark. We are in a long distance relationship, so its even harder. If this ocd shit is true, i will seriously be so angry.
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- 5y
@elleeen ocd is almost never- if not never true. it just takes things you care about and makes up the worst possible situation then gives you intrusive thoughts about it bc that’s just how the disorder works and i know how much it sucks. i’m losing hope but also gaining hope bc in a way i know we can make it through the hard times, we just need to be strong right now
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- 5y
@flowerboy thanks! :)
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- 5y
@elleeen Me too
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- 5y
i know i shouldnt be on this app because it gives me reassurance, but i dont have anybody else to talk to. Im gonna stop when im starting therapy
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- 5y
Yes. With right balance of SSRI’s and CBT it can be cured, but it doesn’t cure itself.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
since february i have "POcd". Initial symptoms were thoughts, but then I did a testing compulsion during an intimate time, and I spiraled ever since. I struggle with addiction to smut. I'm cutting that out, but I feel as if it is too late. Ive never experienced this much mental, and emotional anguish in my life. On my time on this application I have given advice to others, and helped around, but I wonder if that even applies to me. Millions of times I wish I could turn back time and be more careful. I want to prevent many things, including what led me to spiral into OCD in the first place. I'm surely having an OCD episode. I have gotten a diagnosis, but I'm still not sure. I feel evil, cause unlike many here, I tested on my body sensations and it backfired (twice) I know I'm not supposed to figure out why that is the case, but now I have to live with it for the rest of my life even if its something I don't desire. This is disgusting for me, it is abhorrent. I could've never seen this coming. Day by day I've become more fearful of living with this, "OCD". I was a normal person before this, I knew what I was attracted to, I know my preferences, so why did this come about? This is singlehandedly the most painful thing that has happened to me and I have nobody but myself to blame. I am scared of death but I also would'nt mind sleeping for years on end. My parents and brother were understanding of my situation, but I failed them regardless. I don't want them to see me this way, nor do I want them to learn more of my predicament. I'm cooked. I know it, Fin, thats all folks. I'm only 20 and I already have other diagnosed mental illness so I recklessly brought upon myself another one. Its agonizing to live through, I wish this on nobody, not even my worst enemy. I can't even identify myself at this point. Its tearing me apart.
- Date posted
- 21w
I dont know what to do anymore. I think Ive had the 'pure O' version of OCD for more than ten years. I feel like so much of my life has been wasted from this disease. For the longest time I just tried to ignore the intrusive thoughts, and push them off as anxiety, and basically dissociated for years of my life. Feels like Ive just been on autopilot and a shell of myself for nearly 15 years. Its actually hard to even imagine of all the experiences, emotions, connections with others, and personal growth that Ive missed out on- if I do, I think it would be too much to handle. I think Ive even forgot and dont even know at this point what it is to live a normal life and experience positive emotions. Now that I sought treatment for it specifically, it feels like it's gotten worse. Like by acknowledging that part of myself, suddenly added focus just makes it more real and in the forefront now. I wonder if I am actually going insane. Will not go into details for reassurance but the thoughts just rip my soul out. Its so difficult as well because I will get random 'clarity moments' throughout the day where I feel like Ive solved something, then get completely derailed by another OCD thought stream and forget everything. It feels like Im just on a merry-go-round of hell, not going anywhere thinking I am at times.
- Date posted
- 20w
I know everything im dealing with is OCD. I have accepted that, but I just feel down. I don’t want to live the rest of my life like this. I just want to be free from this horrible illness. Any positive stories and recovery journeys will help. What did recovery look like for you? I used to be so happy, I miss it so much. This feels like it’s taken everything from me. How do you just live your life despite how you feel? Any hope will help!
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