- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
ah same, i feel so out of touch, wish i could go back to when i was younger, even though i still had it, it’s never been this bad
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah me too, im holding on to hope so damn hard.
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen me too but i continue to lose it and the realization of the fact that i’m so close to giving up is scary
- Date posted
- 5y
@flowerboy Jup same. Hocd and rocd together is awful, makes it feel even more real
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen mhmm :,(
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen literally can’t even have a crush without constantly second guessing myself wtf is that supposed to mean? like how am i supposed to get in any relationships??! ahhhhhh
- Date posted
- 5y
@flowerboy i have lost attraction towards my boyfriend, and i dont know whats real anymore. But im holding on, but i know it breaks my heart. I cant sleep and i cry all the time
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen i’m so sorry about that i can’t even imagine how much that sucks being in a constant guessing game with ur head, i hope u figure things out <3
- Date posted
- 5y
@flowerboy Yeah me too. This is a nightmare, i dont want it to be true.
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen are you going to therapy or on any medication?
- Date posted
- 5y
@flowerboy starting therapy soon. Im so fucking afraid that i cant hold on to hope, and that im just gonna break it of because i cant handle the pain. I love him so much that it hurts, but ocd makes me even doubt that too.
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen it’s ok u will figure things out and therapy will definitely help figure ur thoughts out,, have u talked to ur bf about this?
- Date posted
- 5y
@flowerboy Yes some things. But im gonna tell him more when i see him, because its getting pretty dark. We are in a long distance relationship, so its even harder. If this ocd shit is true, i will seriously be so angry.
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen ocd is almost never- if not never true. it just takes things you care about and makes up the worst possible situation then gives you intrusive thoughts about it bc that’s just how the disorder works and i know how much it sucks. i’m losing hope but also gaining hope bc in a way i know we can make it through the hard times, we just need to be strong right now
- Date posted
- 5y
@flowerboy thanks! :)
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen Me too
- Date posted
- 5y
i know i shouldnt be on this app because it gives me reassurance, but i dont have anybody else to talk to. Im gonna stop when im starting therapy
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes. With right balance of SSRI’s and CBT it can be cured, but it doesn’t cure itself.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.
- Date posted
- 18w
I dont know what to do anymore. I think Ive had the 'pure O' version of OCD for more than ten years. I feel like so much of my life has been wasted from this disease. For the longest time I just tried to ignore the intrusive thoughts, and push them off as anxiety, and basically dissociated for years of my life. Feels like Ive just been on autopilot and a shell of myself for nearly 15 years. Its actually hard to even imagine of all the experiences, emotions, connections with others, and personal growth that Ive missed out on- if I do, I think it would be too much to handle. I think Ive even forgot and dont even know at this point what it is to live a normal life and experience positive emotions. Now that I sought treatment for it specifically, it feels like it's gotten worse. Like by acknowledging that part of myself, suddenly added focus just makes it more real and in the forefront now. I wonder if I am actually going insane. Will not go into details for reassurance but the thoughts just rip my soul out. Its so difficult as well because I will get random 'clarity moments' throughout the day where I feel like Ive solved something, then get completely derailed by another OCD thought stream and forget everything. It feels like Im just on a merry-go-round of hell, not going anywhere thinking I am at times.
- Date posted
- 17w
I know everything im dealing with is OCD. I have accepted that, but I just feel down. I don’t want to live the rest of my life like this. I just want to be free from this horrible illness. Any positive stories and recovery journeys will help. What did recovery look like for you? I used to be so happy, I miss it so much. This feels like it’s taken everything from me. How do you just live your life despite how you feel? Any hope will help!
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond