Obsession with the "cheating" thoughts

Hi guys young adult here , been struggling with obsessions and compulsions since I was 14 , now Im 20 and I think my old "pal" has come back again. The last 5 days I've been really short tempered for some reason I cant even understand , watching everyone in my sorrounding and this weird head "fatigue" that sometimes shows , but the worst phase so far is when I got the "she is going with another man" thought out of the fricking blue. A little background about my relationship: "Me and my gf have been together for 2 years , since she confessed her love to me and since then we have spent some wonderful time together , we share together almost everything , we been talking and supporting each other through the most difficult times , we barely have any arguments and we make it up in a blink of an eye when it happens , and lately we revealed our relationship to our parents which is going fantastic (fantastic is even an understatement) , her parents love me and my parents love her , and I believe we got a relationship that many people would envy on". So the thoughts and scenarios came out of the blue and felt so real , it became my "gut feeling" (and Im someone that always trusts my gut) and I felt so horrible and angry . The proof that led me to these thoughts ? Almost nothing , I just became hypervigilant on every words she said and whenever the "dots didnt connect" I would get this huge bad feeling and the cycle continues . I would get the compulsion to check on her accounts (we share social media accounts too , maybe some of you guys wont like that). I confessed what I was going through and she felt so bad that I would think such thing , she started swearing on her familys life and start crying to why did I even think that . We both got emotional and we already talked two times about this , she cant stop saying how much she loves me. But I still feel this bad feeling and scenario that "she is seeing another man" which is crazy cause she never had "male friends" even before me (well I was the first one before we got together) but still , my trust for her is severely damaged and I've been trying to heal from this madness , but the million dollar question is.... Is my "old pal" ocd making a comeback with a different theme ? or is it something else going wrong with me?

bootswiththefur

Date posted: 21h

Am just curious, what is it that triggers the thoughts? You said you share socials. Is it comments from others? Something she says? Photos?

bluefire

Date posted: 21h

@bootswiththefur No pics , no comments from others , only when sometimes she says something that I explained "doesnt connect the dots" which makes me immediately think "is she lying to me?"

bootswiththefur

Date posted: 21h

@bluefire I wouldn't completely ignore that. I'm not saying there is reason to distrust her. But trust yourself a bit. Sometimes people can just explain things poorly so that it doesn't make sense. But if it's a pattern, don't throw out your logical reasoning.

bluefire

Date posted: 21h

@bootswiththefur Often I get a scenario that someone else (a dude) is with her in her dorm , but often I think thats ridiculous. Often when I pass by her dorm I get that feeling and that scenario and it makes me anxious . Its like being afraid of having a monster under the bed.

bluefire

Date posted: 21h

@bootswiththefur Honestly I cant really find the difference between whats logical and not , it has been so difficult. Its been stressfull yk , cause I can say I got some "abandonment issues" and if I loose her , idk how my sanity would take that hit.

bootswiththefur

Date posted: 21h

@bluefire Yeah, I understand those kinds of thoughts. I've had them too. I would be more skeptical of those unless you have good evidence.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond