It feels like I can’t be friends with a woman

Okay this in large part is going to be me venting and I’m sorry in advance but. Last week I lost 6 of the friends I was very close with because they believed I had a crush on the girl in the group who was engaged to another one of my close friends. I don’t believe it was a crush but I did harbor some sort of platonic obsession towards her and had badly been spiraling fearing it was a crush for months. Regardless this last week has been horrible for me and because of that I’ve tried to lean more on friends I hadn’t really talked to much in a couple years (both of these friends are trans FtM and have come out in the last 2 years and are dating one another ). But now the exact same crush fear I experienced with the other friend are showing themselves again with one of the 2 people I still have to talk to and I’m so scared I’ll lose them also. I’m pretty confident that I’m straight and wouldn’t date either of them but there’s also the part of me that was extremely close to one of these friends before she came out and crushed on her during highschool so I don’t know if my mind can actually view them as a man and that that’s why I have these crush fears. I’m sorry I know this probably won’t make any sense but I just don’t know what to do I can’t lose anymore friends to something like this

Konnor Ray

Date posted: Yesterday

I would stop blaming yourself. I’ve gone through a similar thing thinking that I liked my friend’s wife’s or that they were looking at me and it turns out it was just my Pure O and it wasn’t me. OCD is ego-dystonic is the opposite of what you want. The fact that you are fighting it means it isn’t you and you should focus on somatic exercises, and listen to people like Joe Hudson and Joe Dispenza to help. Practice spending time in your body and out of your mind and not thinking and analyzing. 🫶

username0192...

Date posted: 20h

They don’t sound like your friends, even though I know right now it probably doesn’t mean much to hear that. Even if you did have a crush. It’s not wrong to have a crush on somebody even if you know it’s someone you can’t be with. You can’t help how someone makes you feel. If I remember from an earlier post you made it sounds like they instigated the conflict. Friends should support how you feel and be there for you through complicated emotions. I know how difficult it is to be so anxious about something possibly coming true and then it actually happening, that happened to me recently and it has been devastating and I don’t know how to heal from it. But all we can do is move forward. Just because it has happened in the past does not have any indication on what the future will look like. And honestly I don’t doubt that all of the anxiety about something happening often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s a great opportunity to learn from your past and to accept uncertainty about the future

Chino

Date posted: 18h

@username0192837456 I mean I can understand that they weren’t my friends or at least hadn’t been acting like friends in months because they spent the last 6 months assuring me that it was OCD and come to find out the entire time they didn’t believe that at all and were getting more and more upset with me. And some of the things they said before we blocked each other are definitely responsible for my current spiral. I don’t know I’m just at a point where I can’t lose anyone else i realistically know I would never date the person its attaching itself to its just hard not to draw parallels between them and the other friend right now

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