cancel culture ocd (but in real life)

hello! wouldn’t say that i’m dealing with your exact issue, but i am dealing with moral/cancel culture ocd. what i think about this is that if your friends would just leave you after you make one mistake, then maybe they wouldn’t be good friends for you after all. if people end up leaving you it’s their choice, but if they’re not voicing their concerns for you to do better in the first place they aren’t the friend for you. it’s true that your fear may happen, but if you really get casted out of your community it gives you time to reflect on what you did wrong OR it gives you time to realize those people weren’t for you. i can say from my experience that i have stopped interacting with certain people recently because they said stuff that was morally questionable to me, but i don’t think they’re terrible people. i just had so much going on that i couldn’t handle another moral debate in my head. i also have that fear of being casted out because of terrible things i’ve done as a kid, but the way i’ve been dealing with it is making sure i’ll be okay if it does happen. i shouldn’t fully and completely rely on my friends all the time, so if they do end up leaving, i’ll be fine because i’m confident in myself that i’ll be fine without them. (not to sound cocky or mean, but it’s genuinely a way i have to think to handle scary intrusive thoughts like those) i hope this process isn’t super unhealthy but it’s how i personally deal with it! i do want to say a disclaimer that you should absolutely trust these people if you have good reason to. you should not be distant because you’re afraid they’ll cast you out. i do think you should make sure that you’ll be strong if something bad happens though, because i have absolutely been on the side of over reliance with friends way too many times, and i’ve also lost everything i built with my friends before (but it was over a confrontation *i made) i think what i’m trying to say is that you have to accept the possibility that yeah, it might happen, but it won’t be the end of the world! you always have space to rebuild and find yourself like i’ve been doing lately. i think being a good person is all about learning from your mistakes