I was just wondering if this is normal. I’ve had OCD for a year and 4 months now. When I get a thought, like what if someone does something to me (to do with my obsession) then I think if they did it to me what if I went along with that, then I will start to analyse myself and my body and think well if you move your head or body a certain way that means you want it now, then I’ll actually do it? And I feel terrible. I don’t know if this is just me or if I’m crazy. Then I’ll feel the need to confess it. For some reason my mind just thinks it should analyse my action in that moment as soon as I’ve had the thought, even though it has nothing to do with it. Sorry this may be a bit confusing ?

Hey so a couple months ago (7-8) I remember being upset at my family member. Like she was talking too much while I was annoyed and remember wanting her to be quiet. I got an intrusive thought like a really bad image of doing something really bad to her, and my hand twitched to the side a little? Like it felt like I was about to?! And I remembered thinking "if I do this, I'll get in trouble". I got up and left to the bathroom and felt horrified! I was thinking "did I want to act out? Did the only reason I didn't act out was because of getting in trouble? If there was no consequences, would have I done it?! Does this mean this whole time I've been using OCD as an excuse?" I remember I couldn't sleep for 3 nights because of how bad the anxiety was, I was crying and I felt very guilty like I should turn myself in to a mental hospital. I couldn't eat for many days or be near her because of that thought and twitch I had! I'm worried it was an impulse or I actually wanted to hurt her. And even to this day I still ruminanate about this. Like last night I couldn't sleep well I kept waking up every two hours and asking myself "am I capable?" I couldn't eat last night. Sometimes I move on from it like I forget that happened but when I remember, I feel distressed about it! I don't want to be an evil person or do bad actions towards anyone! I'm even scared to be angry because of this because I'm scared I have more "chance" of acting out due to anger. Like was it an impulse and I held back? Is this even OCD? Please help, I'm really scared!

Recently ive been getting very scared to even be angry (i try to avoid even being angry if i can!) bc of the horrible thoughts I have and it feels even more real when I'm angry or even annoyed. I've been hyperfocusing on my bodily reactions (mainly my hands or how I'm feeling like did I just enjoy that? Was I considering? Did it just move? Why is it tingly? Why did it twitch?) And I've noticed the small twitches whenever I'm mad or annoyed and it's scaring me so bad! Like do I want to act out? Am I holding back? Is this an indication i was about to do something or will in the future? I used to not even twitch at all when mad and I felt 100% sure I'll never act out but now it feels like I don't even know anymore bc of these twitches. Im so afraid! What I do know is I don't want to ever act out (idea is distressing not appealing) but it's so scary like why did i twitch or was i about to act out? Im scared these are real urges and i research for many many hours to make sure they arent real urges or impulses and i also tend to ask ai or here if the anxiety gets so bad. Like how do I know of this is actually a serious concern and I should be very worried???

Okay so In the moment I get intrusive thoughts about children which I hate. I get the gronal responses which I always so many compultions after. My ocd is very bad and I’m showering and changing my bedding around 8 times. Therapists have told me I’m the worse they’ve ever known. That’s how bad my life is atm. I hate this disorder. I want to know if ocd can cause these things as it will help me to fight my compulsions and just except it’s ocd… In the moment the gronal responses are genuinely pleasurable and I struggle to ignore them and stop them, in the moment t I want them even if it was due to a thought of a kid My OCD will tell me I’m aroused I’ll feel aroused then when moving around in my bed it’ll tell me to make my vagina touch my bedding for a feeling while I’m turning over and I purposely do it in the moment… I hate it. After I do so many compilations, it’s not even me it’s like someone else controlling my body When I try to fight my compulsions I think in my mind “I like this anyways” and actually like the thoughts and gronal responses over the children, which then makes me not be able to fight them. For example my ocf was telling me to spray my feet with anti back, but then I tried to fight it and I was thinking to myself “nah l like this one I like this feeling over the kid it’s the real me” like I didn’t even feel stressed from it it’s like I wanted it. Of corse after these I do lots and many compultions Please I just want to know if ocd can do this