- Username
- leif
- Date posted
- 4y ago
It’s so disturbing because I really really love people and am a very social person. That itch in the back of your head analogy is spot on.
I’m on the other side of the United States on the west coast but I’m 27 and my obsessions vary but include many existential thoughts too. They vary from if anything is real to why does life matter and sometimes I’ll have somewhat of a realization and feel like I’m wasting my life worrying. My other main obsession is the fear of going crazy and they kind of work together.
sounds like we have the same thing!
@lulu23 I hear that. I’m so scared I have schizophrenia. I’m currently just watching schizo documentaries and taking psychosis quizzes (which are always negative)
Which btw is obviously the WRONG thing to do but today I can’t help it :)
I’m dealing with the fear of psychosis now too. It’s awful. Like have been searching the net, taking tests online etc. my brain actually feels like mush sometimes and I have the racing uncontrollable thoughts. It’s almost like I’m trying to convince myself I do have it although it’s the last thing that I actually want?! If that makes sense
I totally empathize with this. I’m assuming the tests are telling you you DONT have it, right? But even that isn’t enough reassurance
@leif Right but still it’s like I don’t believe it lol
I have something similar, but not so much a simulation as just everyone is lying and fake, and they’re “in on something” that I’m not. When it gets bad I find myself documenting things in a notepad that I feel are way too similar to just be a conincidence. I understand cause even when I’m having a good time it’s like an itch in the back of my mind I can’t scratch, and I feel like I’m overly aware of everything just waiting for someone to slip up and expose the ploy. I understand how it makes you question yourself. And it makes it hard to accept advise because I’m wondering if I can even trust them
Right? Like maybe YOU are just put in place to trick me?
Zne yeah i have this too
Yea I’m pretty sure I have pure o. I have sexual intrusive thoughts and harm thoughts too they all fall under pure o to me. I usually don’t go that deep into schizophrenia I just fear it. But I have gotten better recently. I think at the end of the day, it’s as hard to say as it is to believe, we have to come to the conclusion that our obsessions are unprovable and have a 50/50 chance of being true. It’s a hard thing to accept but we will waste our lives waiting for our obsessions to come true rather than just accepting that they may not be. We can’t control most of what we fear with these obsessions but we can control what we choose to do with our time. I for one am going to start going back to school tomorrow. Only a couple classes but anything is a start.
To be honest I’m not even sure what kind of exposures to do? Like how would I do an exposure for obsessing that the world isn’t real? Watch the matrix? It’s tough in that there’s no physical compulsion to resist
I'm not an expert but one you could try is to record/write/say that this is a simulation, nothing's real and you're a puppet and go into detail about it and how it makes you feel. dont avoid it and dont use compulsions, just focus on what it is that frightens you. try it for 5 minutes once a day. see if the thoughts have the same impact afterwards. you've effectively got to accept that it could very well be the case and, with acceptance, the suffering will diminish.
@Mr Unshackleton This is SO helpful. Thank you!
@leif you're welcome. good luck. let us know how it goes
Lulu23 does it mean you hace pure o too?
Have*
do you guys do exposure therapy for these?
You have depersonalization
Hm, but isn’t depersonalization more of a physical sensation? I don’t necessarily feel unreal, I just can’t stop obsessing that everyone else might be unreal
@leif Have a read about it, I think that is more derealization than depersonalization I have both & it’s an offshoot of anxiety, I don’t have any of the physical symptoms either
@Daisy29 I have had both and don’t know if it’s gone yet because I’m ok most days but I still don’t really feel like myself. It makes this theme so much worse to handle.
@leif Literally was in a class today and had the same thought! As a child I thought me and my family were dolls and there was someone controlling us. I to this day feel like maybe my life is the truman show - everyone is placed here purposely And are actors and they all know it but I dont
@Elro @elro, totally feel that. How distressful is this thought to you?
I live in nj and have sexual intrusive pure o thoughts
The thoughts I’ve been stuggling most recently is ”is the world real or am i really in a simulation” (solipsism and such) of course i dont truly belive in it but it feels impossible to disprove, and the thought of being completely alone distresses me greatly. I know i shouldnt ruminate but it feels nearly impossible to not when everything i exprience is in doubt. It also relates to my original harm-ocd. Anyone who can relate?
Hi all , please comment if you’re experiencing what I’m about to share . I am going through a very tough time with existential fears & very frightening thoughts to a point where the thought of myself sends me into a spiral. I ask myself “am I even existing right now as I’m typing this” “ how do I know that I’m not already dead or in a purgatory “how do I confirm that I even exist” what if I’ve already died and this is what death feels like “ nothing & no one around me feels real , I look at my kids & my husband & question their existence. I’ve also been suffering from severe depersonalisation/derealisation & I don’t know which one is triggering the other ! I also suffer from harm ocd where I’m forever worrying that I might lose control & harm my family whom I love to bits & I’m always battling the nightmare inside me that makes me believe that I’ve already hurt them but I just don’t know it … I’m on lexapro & have been for two years but I find that all it does is numb my emotions, I can’t cry & at times worry that if sharpens to someone I love , I may not be able to cry or show emotions . I am convinced that I’ve developed schizophrenia 🥲🥲 which has always been my worst fear! Or that I’ve gone psychotic without realising . I cannot see myself out of this hole & my brain had forgotten what being a normal person once felt like 🥲🥲. I was seeing a psychologist and he did ERP with me but sadly that did Not help so I stopped seeing him altogether & lost faith in therapy altogether ! Sorry this is a very long post but I just want to know that someone out there is experiencing the same symptoms and has gotten over it through ERP or other medication ? Because I feel like I’m the only one suffering from this debilitating illness and there’s no way out!
Hey y’all, does anyone else fear that the world is a simulation / nothing and no one is real? When my OCD flares up, I feel like I am being controlled / watched, like I’m on the Truman Show, and that everyone around me is a robot / simulation? It can be incredibly distressing and I’ve spent HOURS performing compulsions. At school, work, when trying to fall asleep.
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