- Username
- leif
- Date posted
- 4y ago
It’s so disturbing because I really really love people and am a very social person. That itch in the back of your head analogy is spot on.
I’m on the other side of the United States on the west coast but I’m 27 and my obsessions vary but include many existential thoughts too. They vary from if anything is real to why does life matter and sometimes I’ll have somewhat of a realization and feel like I’m wasting my life worrying. My other main obsession is the fear of going crazy and they kind of work together.
sounds like we have the same thing!
@lulu23 I hear that. I’m so scared I have schizophrenia. I’m currently just watching schizo documentaries and taking psychosis quizzes (which are always negative)
Which btw is obviously the WRONG thing to do but today I can’t help it :)
I’m dealing with the fear of psychosis now too. It’s awful. Like have been searching the net, taking tests online etc. my brain actually feels like mush sometimes and I have the racing uncontrollable thoughts. It’s almost like I’m trying to convince myself I do have it although it’s the last thing that I actually want?! If that makes sense
I totally empathize with this. I’m assuming the tests are telling you you DONT have it, right? But even that isn’t enough reassurance
@leif Right but still it’s like I don’t believe it lol
I have something similar, but not so much a simulation as just everyone is lying and fake, and they’re “in on something” that I’m not. When it gets bad I find myself documenting things in a notepad that I feel are way too similar to just be a conincidence. I understand cause even when I’m having a good time it’s like an itch in the back of my mind I can’t scratch, and I feel like I’m overly aware of everything just waiting for someone to slip up and expose the ploy. I understand how it makes you question yourself. And it makes it hard to accept advise because I’m wondering if I can even trust them
Right? Like maybe YOU are just put in place to trick me?
Zne yeah i have this too
Yea I’m pretty sure I have pure o. I have sexual intrusive thoughts and harm thoughts too they all fall under pure o to me. I usually don’t go that deep into schizophrenia I just fear it. But I have gotten better recently. I think at the end of the day, it’s as hard to say as it is to believe, we have to come to the conclusion that our obsessions are unprovable and have a 50/50 chance of being true. It’s a hard thing to accept but we will waste our lives waiting for our obsessions to come true rather than just accepting that they may not be. We can’t control most of what we fear with these obsessions but we can control what we choose to do with our time. I for one am going to start going back to school tomorrow. Only a couple classes but anything is a start.
To be honest I’m not even sure what kind of exposures to do? Like how would I do an exposure for obsessing that the world isn’t real? Watch the matrix? It’s tough in that there’s no physical compulsion to resist
I'm not an expert but one you could try is to record/write/say that this is a simulation, nothing's real and you're a puppet and go into detail about it and how it makes you feel. dont avoid it and dont use compulsions, just focus on what it is that frightens you. try it for 5 minutes once a day. see if the thoughts have the same impact afterwards. you've effectively got to accept that it could very well be the case and, with acceptance, the suffering will diminish.
@Mr Unshackleton This is SO helpful. Thank you!
@leif you're welcome. good luck. let us know how it goes
Lulu23 does it mean you hace pure o too?
Have*
do you guys do exposure therapy for these?
You have depersonalization
Hm, but isn’t depersonalization more of a physical sensation? I don’t necessarily feel unreal, I just can’t stop obsessing that everyone else might be unreal
@leif Have a read about it, I think that is more derealization than depersonalization I have both & it’s an offshoot of anxiety, I don’t have any of the physical symptoms either
@Daisy29 I have had both and don’t know if it’s gone yet because I’m ok most days but I still don’t really feel like myself. It makes this theme so much worse to handle.
@leif Literally was in a class today and had the same thought! As a child I thought me and my family were dolls and there was someone controlling us. I to this day feel like maybe my life is the truman show - everyone is placed here purposely And are actors and they all know it but I dont
@Elro @elro, totally feel that. How distressful is this thought to you?
I live in nj and have sexual intrusive pure o thoughts
Hi everyone, I think I’ve struggled with OCD since I was a child but it’s seriously effecting my life now. I think I have what you would call Philosophical/ Existential OCD. I can’t stop questioning my reality, the truth of reality and the universe, enlightenment, Christianity, solipsism, god, myself, my own existence. It never ends. I don’t really know what to do anymore. I think I have Pure O, but I also compulsively google my questions and search through the answers for hours until I feel calm. The peace lasts all of 5 minutes and then I’m googling another question. It’s so stupid because I know the meaning of life isn’t found on the internet but I can’t handle it all on my own in my head.
Don’t see many people with existential OCD posting on here. I have bad existential (am I real, are the people around me real, am I in some kind of Truman show/matrix world etc.). With existential I think reassurance from other people is basically impossible because we understand that you can never know if the world is real, and I think that’s why doing something even like posting on this forum for support can feel unhelpful and meaningless. But maybe that can be a good exposure for us, like by allowing this forum to mean something we will fight against our OCD? Idk just a thought. Also these thoughts are just so scary that talking to people about them can seem very scary. Like how do you tell somebody you think they might not be real? I avoided talking to anybody about this for years until recently because I thought I was going crazy (I have some schiz-ocd as well) after this thought came to me after an LSD trip. Wondering if anybody relates to this, and maybe we can get some more existential posts in this forum as I think it’s under-talked about, and it’s something that probably will get worse as a society with all the dystopian tech themes in movies and stuff. Also how have you been doing ERP exposures? I’m just starting
The thoughts I’ve been stuggling most recently is ”is the world real or am i really in a simulation” (solipsism and such) of course i dont truly belive in it but it feels impossible to disprove, and the thought of being completely alone distresses me greatly. I know i shouldnt ruminate but it feels nearly impossible to not when everything i exprience is in doubt. It also relates to my original harm-ocd. Anyone who can relate?
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