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- 5y
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- 5y
It’s so disturbing because I really really love people and am a very social person. That itch in the back of your head analogy is spot on.
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- 5y
I’m on the other side of the United States on the west coast but I’m 27 and my obsessions vary but include many existential thoughts too. They vary from if anything is real to why does life matter and sometimes I’ll have somewhat of a realization and feel like I’m wasting my life worrying. My other main obsession is the fear of going crazy and they kind of work together.
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- 5y
sounds like we have the same thing!
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@lulu23 I hear that. I’m so scared I have schizophrenia. I’m currently just watching schizo documentaries and taking psychosis quizzes (which are always negative)
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Which btw is obviously the WRONG thing to do but today I can’t help it :)
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I’m dealing with the fear of psychosis now too. It’s awful. Like have been searching the net, taking tests online etc. my brain actually feels like mush sometimes and I have the racing uncontrollable thoughts. It’s almost like I’m trying to convince myself I do have it although it’s the last thing that I actually want?! If that makes sense
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- 5y
I totally empathize with this. I’m assuming the tests are telling you you DONT have it, right? But even that isn’t enough reassurance
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@leif Right but still it’s like I don’t believe it lol
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I have something similar, but not so much a simulation as just everyone is lying and fake, and they’re “in on something” that I’m not. When it gets bad I find myself documenting things in a notepad that I feel are way too similar to just be a conincidence. I understand cause even when I’m having a good time it’s like an itch in the back of my mind I can’t scratch, and I feel like I’m overly aware of everything just waiting for someone to slip up and expose the ploy. I understand how it makes you question yourself. And it makes it hard to accept advise because I’m wondering if I can even trust them
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Right? Like maybe YOU are just put in place to trick me?
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Zne yeah i have this too
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Yea I’m pretty sure I have pure o. I have sexual intrusive thoughts and harm thoughts too they all fall under pure o to me. I usually don’t go that deep into schizophrenia I just fear it. But I have gotten better recently. I think at the end of the day, it’s as hard to say as it is to believe, we have to come to the conclusion that our obsessions are unprovable and have a 50/50 chance of being true. It’s a hard thing to accept but we will waste our lives waiting for our obsessions to come true rather than just accepting that they may not be. We can’t control most of what we fear with these obsessions but we can control what we choose to do with our time. I for one am going to start going back to school tomorrow. Only a couple classes but anything is a start.
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- 5y
To be honest I’m not even sure what kind of exposures to do? Like how would I do an exposure for obsessing that the world isn’t real? Watch the matrix? It’s tough in that there’s no physical compulsion to resist
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I'm not an expert but one you could try is to record/write/say that this is a simulation, nothing's real and you're a puppet and go into detail about it and how it makes you feel. dont avoid it and dont use compulsions, just focus on what it is that frightens you. try it for 5 minutes once a day. see if the thoughts have the same impact afterwards. you've effectively got to accept that it could very well be the case and, with acceptance, the suffering will diminish.
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@Mr Unshackleton This is SO helpful. Thank you!
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@leif you're welcome. good luck. let us know how it goes
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Lulu23 does it mean you hace pure o too?
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Have*
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do you guys do exposure therapy for these?
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You have depersonalization
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Hm, but isn’t depersonalization more of a physical sensation? I don’t necessarily feel unreal, I just can’t stop obsessing that everyone else might be unreal
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@leif Have a read about it, I think that is more derealization than depersonalization I have both & it’s an offshoot of anxiety, I don’t have any of the physical symptoms either
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@Daisy29 I have had both and don’t know if it’s gone yet because I’m ok most days but I still don’t really feel like myself. It makes this theme so much worse to handle.
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@leif Literally was in a class today and had the same thought! As a child I thought me and my family were dolls and there was someone controlling us. I to this day feel like maybe my life is the truman show - everyone is placed here purposely And are actors and they all know it but I dont
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- 5y
@Elro @elro, totally feel that. How distressful is this thought to you?
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I live in nj and have sexual intrusive pure o thoughts
Related posts
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- 22w
Hey guys so I’m new here and just recently started struggling with some health ocd and thinking I had a brain tumor but it’s taken a turn for the worse and become this existential ocd where I’m questioning quite literally everything in my life, the purpose of being here and stuff. I just started meds yesterday, which is scary for me cause I’ve never been on them before. I keep having thoughts like, why does everything feel like a blur, what’s the meaning of this and I wake up every day with just existential dread. I’ve been having very vivid dreams that make dreaming and reality confusing I also am scared cause I’m dealing with some DP/DR as well. I just wish my life could go back to a few months ago before I knew all of this was possible. I guess I’m just writing this too get it off my chest and see if any of you all have gone through something similar and made it out okay?
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- 16w
Hi all, First time posting and it comes in the midst of a big spiral and panic. Currently dealing with what we think is borderline existential OCD where I feel like I’ve come to believe that I’m not real, that this is all a dream, that I’m actually a psychotic person walking down the street imagining all of this. Got very triggered yesterday by seeing someone screaming and yelling at what seemed to be nothing. Had a panic attack this morning and just haven’t been a wreck since worrying that I’m going to end up in psych ward, realize I’m actually crazy, etc. Been in NOCD therapy for almost 4 months now and still struggling to sit with the uncertainty, avoid researching, seeking reassurance, and most of all ruminating. Anyone go through something similar and if so what were key tactics you used during these spirals to calm things down and recenter yourself?
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- 14w
Hello! I’m new here. Unfortunately I’m not able to afford a therapist but I’ve been doing a lot of research and I think a lot of my symptoms/thoughts align with OCD. I want to share some of what I experience and see if anyone else experiences the same and what resources helped you. I think I mostly experience contamination OCD. I’m constantly worried that something I do/touch is going to make me really sick and/or die. Especially with food, I’m constantly worried that I’ll accidentally have something on my hands when I eat, then I’ll touch the food and get that on the food, eat it and get sick. So I’ll wash my hands every time my hands touch any little tiny thing again and again before I eat, same with any forks/spoons, or I’ll even think I touched cleaner a few hours ago and I’ve washed my hands several times since then and I just washed them again but they still feel dirty so even if impractical I’ll use a fork and if my hands touch the part of the fork that touches the food then I can’t eat the food any longer or use that fork. Also at work I have these thoughts that I know are ridiculous but also give me very real anxiety. Like “if I don’t finish this order before that machine beeps its a sign I’m going to die” and then I have to rush to make sure I finish fast and then I’ll be like ok that’s so stressful I’m not going to think like that any more it’s ridiculous but then the thoughts keep coming back so I have to keep rushing. This is just a little tad bit of what I experience and I would love to hear from others as I haven’t met anyone else like me before. Thank you!
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