Hi!! Someone has obsessions related to wide open spaces and inmensity?

I have a lot of compulsions that seem hoarding-esque but I can’t figure out which subtype of OCD they fall under. The two major drivers of this for me seem to be a fear that I will forget about them or the memories attached to them or that the things and their significance will be lost to time, and that I might need or want them in the future. I compulsively make lists of things (ex. things I like, things I don’t like, who I am, the contents of my ideal fridge - very plain with lots of fruit) just in case. I heart nearly every song I hear on Spotify (except the ones I actively strongly dislike, of which there are not many) just in case I will forget about them later on (and because I feel guilty about not hearting the song and supporting the artist if I have no valid reason not to but that’s a whole other can of worms). I have a couple containers of “good” boxes of all shapes and sizes that I’ve collected that, as it turns out, I never actually look at or use. When I was very little, before my family and I knew I had OCD, I had a “sticker book” in which I would put every sticker I ever got - because I didn’t like the idea of putting them on anything that I might lose access to. I even found my mother’s stamps and obsessively put one of each kind in my sticker book (there were soo many, it took me hours). I have trouble letting go of things, especially if I have any sort of memory attached to it whatsoever. Because, my mind says, what if I forget? My camera roll consists, in large part, of an enormous amount of screenshots of far too many little things that I encounter, and it is extremely rare that I actually look back at them. But the other data I was looking for something I thought I took a screenshot of and I couldn’t find it, so this compulsion is back and much worse. On my computer I can’t open the photos app without it crashing and the number of screenshots I have on there is shown in eight digits. I also have tens of thousands of tabs open in my browser at any given moment (I can’t close them, what if I forget?). I really wish I were exaggerating. I also take an excessive amount of photos of many things throughout my day (I counted once and I took 46 pictures of the same tree when I went on a walk). These are just some little examples of how this obsession manifests in me and my life. Does anyone else experience something similar? I’d love to hear about it.

If you can elaborate on them, I would be more than happy.

I wanted to come on here and explain my OCD because I always feel so out of place since my OCD works a little differently than everyone else’s. If someone can relate to this, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I’ve always felt so alone with not knowing what this feeling is and why it affects me so much. Okay so ever since I was a toddler, Ive had a fear of change I can’t control. when the weather changes I’d have anxiety attacks, and a cloudy day would make me feel like i’m not myself. I don’t recognize my surroundings and I would cry and close my eyes until I’m back to normal. When it was still bright out at 8pm in the summer, as a kid, we’d go to bed at 8:30. But I’d tell my dad that I couldn’t go to bed. Not because of the sun, but because I wasn’t used to it. I vividly remember how different my room would feel when the sun was setting at 9pm. I hated it to the point where it’d make me anxious and scared. As I’ve grown, I’ve understood what causes me to feel so out of place when it’s a rainy day. My routine has always been the same for the most part: I wake up, I run to the store to get a monster, I clean/watch tv/work/hangout with friends, and then at night (which is crucial), I’m in bed around 10pm & I burn incense and watch tv for a bit until i’m ready to sleep. When things get in the way of that schedule, I go in panic mode. It’s almost like derealization when something is off in my normal routine. Like I feel like I’m in a different home, a different timeline, a dream almost. Since i’m older, It takes more for me to feel this way, but when I was younger, just watching a movie in my room would set me off because I’ve never watched a movie as a part of my routine. I know this is all over the place but I always wonder if everyone feels this way, but my OCD just intensifies it. It’s such a big part of my life, this sort of anxiety. And I don’t know how to get rid of it. I want to have my friends stay the night, but I can’t have people overnight in my room because it’ll change the whole “vibe” of the room. Something unfamiliar happening in my room is a nightmare for me. Another thing: I enjoy rearranging my room quite often and I figure that’s because It’s change I can control. But I always dread the night after it’s changed and I have to force myself into getting used to how it feels and being used to the way things are. But it really takes a toll on me; sometimes I end up crying because of it. ALSO! This affects relationships as well. If I’m in a relationship, I have to let in someone who has never been apart of my routine and my schedule before and that’s terrifying and almost impossible to get past. I know if I just let myself get used to the new feeling of having someone APART of my routine/schedule I can get used to it, but it’s harddd. Lastly, going overnight to people’s houses isn’t awful for me, because It doesn’t affect what’s mine. Does that make sense? Since I’m not in my room, my house, my backyard, etc, there’s nothing to change. Only the fact that i’m in a different place which used to be an issue, but my body/mind has accepted that I will go to different places and i’m very optimistic so i’m not one to just live in a bubble for the rest of my life. I would love to travel, but I don’t know how I could when I fear so much change. I leave for college soon and i’m DREADING the change because I know a whole different room is going to have me stressing 😭😭. If anyone understands this feeling even just by a little, I greatly appreciate if you leave a comment or even if u don’t relate, advice would be helpful:) Thank you!