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- 5y
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Thank you so much Katie. I have never seen my “sub type” of ocd explained since clearly. Nor has any counselor specifically identified it as such. Hard to read, but spot on. Couldn’t be more grateful.
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@Dutchy You're welcome ?
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I’ve had this same one, I didn’t think anyone else did too
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Reassuring to hear that. I too have found that it’s perhaps a bit more uncommon, having said that, ocd is a devious beast and is effective at preying on deep anxieties. Appreciate your comment
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What strategies helped you overcome the other fears?
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Good question. A combination of CBT and medication, both of which tailed off around my mid-twenties. Particularly, methods to accept the anxiety/uncertainty and delay compulsions. Reading and delving deep into the research and literature around ocd was also a huge piece of the puzzle. Schwartz’s book “Brain lock” was a particularly powerful tool. Unfortunately it’s as if part of my brain/me now seems to recognize these strategies and finds new ways to entangle my mind. Accepting that it’s a process and there’s no magic date when everything will be “fixed” has also (paradoxically) helped very much indeed.
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@Dutchy What kind of thoughts are in the entangled knot?
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@NOCD Advocate - Katie The thoughts in the entangled knot are the ones around me not being the best person I can be. These are triggered by meeting people who I find morally or behaviorally confronting with their actions or behaviors (it could be a parent yelling uncontrollably at their child for example). The sort of things where close friends might say to me, “oh you mean people that give you the creeps or disgust you”. The difference being for me that when I inadvertently think of e.g. that parent in the aforementioned example, or ‘see’ their face in my thoughts, I have an urge to perform compulsions to “prevent” any part of that bad character rubbing off on me. The trigger being “what if, somehow, just by thinking about them you pick up these “bad” behaviors. Then I get entangled for minutes or hours on end
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@Dutchy May I link you to an article?
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@NOCD Advocate - Katie Yes please, that would be great!
Related posts
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- 23w
I’m irrationally terrified of being found somehow by someone who knows me but I’m trying to post anyway. Not sure if I qualify as young adult or mid-life at this point because I’m about to be 30. Hi, I’m new here and I’m in the process of getting a diagnosis. I’m already diagnosed with autism, GAD, and probable ADHD, and I believe I’ve had varying subtypes of OCD since childhood. My worst OCD-related issue right now has been constant reassurance seeking. I’ve fallen into a trap of constantly doing it and without reassurance I’m terrified to make decisions in my new job. It’s causing me to ask too many questions I already know the answers to which makes me not look competent. Even though I’m somewhat experienced in my field of work, starting this new job has me feeling like I’m starting in the field all over again because I’m so bad these days with working independently since I can’t reassure myself that what I’m doing is correct. I’ve been stressed out of my mind and have come close to losing my job because the stress has exacerbated my autistic struggles such as meltdowns and social issues and I’m also battling the ADHD and GAD on top of it. I’ve also been pushing away people who are close to me with my reassurance seeking because I have problems with not being satisfied with any piece of advice or reassurance given to me by friends and family. They can say things will be okay a thousand times and even though I’m the one who asked I will fight them on it and I’m getting tired of my own difficult behavior and obsessive thoughts. I finally got into therapy again to try and save my job and my relationships from the clutches of my various mental illnesses and I’m just looking for community here.
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- 13w
Hello, I’m new to this app. I’ve always had an anxious brain, and I’ve had coping mechanisms for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, from as early as I could spell, until I was probably early teens, I would constantly write words in my head along to the beat of music. It’s such a vivid memory because I never stopped doing it. The word had to perfectly match up to the lyric and I loved that it kept my brain busy. I grew out of that, but felt like good context. My anxiety increased drastically around ages 17-19, and I began therapy. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic disorder, due to having a panic attack nearly every day at that time. I overcame that as well, and now the panic attacks are every now and then, but the anxiety is constant, and some recent symptoms have led me to believe I might have some form of OCD. Maybe not. I’m trying to understand myself and get better so I joined this app to make sense of things. Lately I’ve been having really intense intrusive thoughts. I’m really embarassed and they make me feel like a bad person. Thoughts pop in my head seemingly out of nowhere. It will be an image of me harming myself or someone else in a really bad way. (Trigger warning) for example the other day I couldn’t shake the image of me putting a knife through my own forehead, although it’s not something I want to do. Or I’ll imagine someone killing me. I imagine my loved ones dying often. The thoughts feel so out of my control it’s insane. I hate them. Another persistent issue that isn’t as new is replaying social scenarios. I’m a hairstylist so this one is difficult since I meet a bunch of new people every day. I obsess over how I act and if people like me. I will impulsively say things all the time and they will haunt me for weeks. I question even my closest friends and family who show their love. I find myself so angry and numb and like I have so much built up emotion and a busy mind always. While doing my job I spiral really badly if any little thing goes wrong and it’s embarassing. I know there’s more but I can’t think of it now. I just want to feel better and like I’m not constantly battling my mind.
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- 8w
Hello! I’m new here. Unfortunately I’m not able to afford a therapist but I’ve been doing a lot of research and I think a lot of my symptoms/thoughts align with OCD. I want to share some of what I experience and see if anyone else experiences the same and what resources helped you. I think I mostly experience contamination OCD. I’m constantly worried that something I do/touch is going to make me really sick and/or die. Especially with food, I’m constantly worried that I’ll accidentally have something on my hands when I eat, then I’ll touch the food and get that on the food, eat it and get sick. So I’ll wash my hands every time my hands touch any little tiny thing again and again before I eat, same with any forks/spoons, or I’ll even think I touched cleaner a few hours ago and I’ve washed my hands several times since then and I just washed them again but they still feel dirty so even if impractical I’ll use a fork and if my hands touch the part of the fork that touches the food then I can’t eat the food any longer or use that fork. Also at work I have these thoughts that I know are ridiculous but also give me very real anxiety. Like “if I don’t finish this order before that machine beeps its a sign I’m going to die” and then I have to rush to make sure I finish fast and then I’ll be like ok that’s so stressful I’m not going to think like that any more it’s ridiculous but then the thoughts keep coming back so I have to keep rushing. This is just a little tad bit of what I experience and I would love to hear from others as I haven’t met anyone else like me before. Thank you!
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