- Username
- Zrianna
- Date posted
- 4y ago
You need to realise this self doubt is just self doubt. OCD loves a bit of self doubt and grows on it. You need to try and focus on the fact that you add an individual have the capacity for both good and bad, but then so does everyone. As far add I'm aware, you have done nothing to indicate you actually ate this bad person. I wonder - if you did one thing a week to help someone else, this could improve your self esteem and self doubt?
Hey sweetie I do understand how you feel, truly Don’t let ocd win. Ocd knows how to make you freak out by attacking your values, and what I can see is that you want to be a great person, and ocd make you doubt of this. Don’t let ocd control you, not this time. If you want there is a great video on YouTube for ocd attack https://youtu.be/6inywCsMz3M Remember that ocd has his bad truth and ocd wants you to believe it, but this is not your truth and you don’t have to believe it
Are there any patterns about what days you do ruminate and which ones you don't?
ME
Really struggling to not think I’m a bad person. Part of me is rational, but I keep going back. I don’t know what to do. How to keep functioning like this.
Just got off the phone with my after hours therapy center. I’m trying not to ruminate or seek reassurance, but even after I spoke with the therapist I can’t help but worry that I’m not just or moral enough. I asked if I should turn myself in, and they said no. I wish I could enjoy the holidays but I’m by myself right now and I’m going through a familiar thought process of the world would be a better place if I had been a different person. I’ve been feeling depressed and thinking about different ways in which I’m inadequate and incompetent. I can’t seem to figure out how I’m actually worthwhile. I don’t know if I’ll ever get out of this, my mental illnesses and my current failures at my work and internship. I’m sorry this all sounds dark and I don’t feel like being drastic. Rather I just feel extremely stuck. Kind of like, oh shoot I’m not someone anyone likes and I’m unfortunately a waste of oxygen.
i'm tired of the fear of becoming something horrible. im tired of feeling like i'm an irredeemable monster. im tired of thinking about what happened every hour of my life. im tired of the fear of being a bad person. im tired of never feeling like i deserve anything. i'm tired of the ruminating, the anguish, the guilt, the regret, the pain, the anger at myself. i dont know what i want. it feels as if making my life better will be like excusing my actions. i feel like i deserve this pain. my genuine emotions feel like a facade. im so scared. i dont want to be a bad person. why did i think it was okay in the moment. why.
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