- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
That’s terrible. I’m really sorry. Are there things he’s deathly afraid of? Next time he pokes fun at you, do the same with his fear. I don’t really like this method but people don’t take OCD seriously and the only way he will understand is if he’s in our shoes. We’re dealing with misfired alert which puts us in fight or flight mode.
- Date posted
- 6y
First definitely identify when your mentally compulsions. Then read statements that will trigger your anxiety. You can also record yourself saying “i am not real. No one is real”. Keep listening so you can’t reassure yourself. Try it for five to fifteen minutes (depending on how much you can do). The important thing is to do the exposures and not compulse. So if you can do fifteen minutes one day but only five minutes next day without ritualize get then do what you can. If you ritualized then “spoil” yourself by exposing to your fears. I hope that helps.
- Date posted
- 6y
I deal with this constantly! My husband thinks it’s funny and will try to make me think that he’s not real. Then I start crying and he feels bad.
- Date posted
- 6y
I understand. But he still shouldn’t make you cry just because he doesn’t understand it. You’re already crying from the OCD bully. Have you tried showing him videos about what OCD is about? Maybe if he sees or reads it might help and open up his mind? I’m not trying to attack anyone here but it upsets me when other sufferers aren’t taken seriously. The last thing we need is mocked and ridiculed.
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh okay. I’m sorry about that. But definitely sit down with him or just send him links so he can look at it when he can. I’m sorry for making assumptions.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m so sorry @katieKAT. When you feel you’re about to have a panic attack try the breathing exercise. It will help. Focus on your breathing. In through your nose and count to five. Then slowly release out of your mouth and count to seven. The exhaling should be longer than when you inhale oxygen. Also let your diaphragm expand, not your chest. You can also try ginger candy. It helps me with nausea from anxiety.
- Date posted
- 6y
We have the same type of OCD :) I have existential OCD that was triggered by a chronic episode of DP/DR after constant stress and illness over other OCD themes. Its hard. But I’m getting better. My ERP looks like this, I say these phrases over and over: - maybe I’m not real - maybe my family isnt real - maybe my friends aren’t real - maybe im in a coma Etc, etc. I start at 30 seconds of doing this, then a minute. Then two, then four, then eight, it gets easier I swear. DP/DR is probably the worst of it. I like to think of it as severe mental exhaustion due to insular thinking and self monitoring. I mean, that’s basically what it is after all. Start thinking of it as a big scary disorder and you’re probably gonna get even more panicked. Hang in there :)
- Date posted
- 6y
@KatieKAT I’m preparing to see a new therapist soon, but I’ve done a lot of ERP on my own, after getting clearance from a therapist that I’m doing it right :)
- Date posted
- 6y
The struggle is so real guys. ? I don’t have existential OCD but that sounds intense. Glad there are others on here too who can support you. One of my obsessions lately has been, “What if you don’t really have OCD and this is all a lie?” Sigh..this disorder is so stupid and insidious, trying to get me to doubt a professional expert OCD diagnosis.
- Date posted
- 6y
Do you have any compulsions? Or is this pure-O? Or do you do a mental compulsion?
- Date posted
- 6y
Mental compulsions, trying to reassure myself that I’m real, that I can trust this is reality, etc.
- Date posted
- 6y
Existential OCD. Definitely not the kind of OCD the public has much awareness of. Maybe we will change that in the future. :) What is DP/DR?
- Date posted
- 6y
When you’re mentally compulsing *
- Date posted
- 6y
I think it is just hard for him to understand that I will actually believe these things. I’m starting to open up more with him about my ocd, and I think he’s starting to understand better.
- Date posted
- 6y
I think I may have worded that wrong- he’s only done it like two times. In his defense I laugh when I’m telling him about it (i laugh when I’m nervous) so he probably thinks I’m joking... ya know, until the tears start.
- Date posted
- 6y
Im honestly scared for him to know what it’s really like
- Date posted
- 6y
May I ask why?
- Date posted
- 6y
@MeMeMe, and CrazyCatLady, thanks for sharing! This has been so horrible. I’ve been spiking so bad. I freak out, because I worry I might just stop believing I am real, and completely waste my life. Also, I have company coming tomorrow, and I’ve had such bad derealization, I worry about panic attacks.
- Date posted
- 6y
@TabbyKitty, thank you so much!! I can’t tell you how much it means to know I’m not the only one struggling with this theme. I’ve had so many different ones, but this has seemed like the worst with all the DP/DR feelings, and questioning if I exist. Ugh. I’m a Christian, and this has made it so hard to feel my faith or anything else that I’ve felt like I’ve known for sure before OCD. You’re right, we don’t need to be scared of DP/DR. It really does come form total mental exhaustion and stress. Back when I felt normal and didn’t deal with this, if something extremely embarrassing happened, I’d have DP/DR for a few minutes only, like everyone else. It doesn’t help that I haven’t been sleeping the last 2 nights because of my sensitive stomach. Tell me, do you see a therapist, or do you know enough now to just do ERP aim your own? Hugs, and thanks again! :)
- Date posted
- 6y
*sorry for the typos. ;)
- Date posted
- 6y
@TabbyKitty, do you feel like the existential OCD has made you question literally everything, like even your own logic? I feel like I’m always questioning how I can know anything, especially when the DP/DR is bad.
- Date posted
- 6y
@KatieKAT absolutely. Its the first OCD theme I’ve had that made me feel genuinely insane
- Date posted
- 6y
@TabbyKitty, Thank you for getting back to me. I’ve been obsessing big time today, and trying to show myself these thoughts are irrational. I’m really struggling with that aspect of it. Did you ever feel like there were real reasons to worry about if you didn’t exist? I understand that the very act of worrying is evidence you do exist. I know it will sound dumb to you, but even though I’m a Christian, and God wouldn’t trick us, I’ve worried even our thinking could be an illusion, like we just “think we’re thinking”, even though that’s a contradictory statement. Did you deal with any of these things?
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 25w
I used to get caught in a loop with existential thoughts very frequently. Every question made my stomach drop: (TW: existential questions) … … ... "Why does anything exist at all? What will death be like? Is anything even real? Is there any meaning to this? Is the universe infinitely big, and if not, what's beyond it? Are there multiverses? Has the universe been around forever? Will the universe end for good, or will it keep going forever? What is forever like? What even IS reality?" It would get so overwhelming that I remember lying on the floor in a fetal position for hours because I felt like there was no escape. I spent most of my days reading articles and watching videos about theoretical astrophysics and philosophy in a desperate attempt to "figure it all out." Of course that only made me more anxious, raised more questions, and kept me trapped in the cycle. Things started to improve once I learned to turn TOWARD reality, rather than away from it, and ERP really helped me do that. I learned that these questions weren't the problem. I learned that I can actually handle the anxiety that arises when exposed to these ideas and concepts. I don't have to figure anything out to make the anxiety go away; it arises and passes away on its own. Ironically, bringing myself into the present moment and becoming more aware of reality helped me escape the cycle of existential dread. Because of that, this topic no longer takes over my life. If I'm triggered by something I see, hear, or think, I may still feel a little twang of anxiety, but then it just goes away. "Maybe, maybe not" has been the single most useful phrase of my life. Do you ever get trapped in a cycle of existential questions? Are you worried that the ERP approach would be too scary to handle? If so, I'm happy to give my advice.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
I recently posted about my experience with Existential OCD (https://app.treatmyocd.com/community/posts/2184668), and one of the most common questions I got was how to deal with DPDR (depersonalization and derealization), as it often goes hand-in-hand with existential obsessions. I wanted to create this post to summarize my thoughts and understanding of DPDR, so I have something to point people towards. For context, I'm not a trained mental health professional, doctor, or neuroscientist. I'm just someone who has been through the gambit with OCD, and has learned about the mind through conversations with several therapists, reading books, and watching videos. I also regularly consult with a few Buddhist teachers, and have been practicing meditation for several years. Please keep all of this in mind, and take everything I say with a grain of salt. First, some quick terminology: Depersonalization = a feeling of "detachment" from your own body, almost as if you're living life as an autonomous robot. Derealization = a feeling of "detachment" from the outside world, where people, places, and things feel distant or alien. They often go hand-in-hand, and mainly differ in terms of what feels "unreal" (yourself, or the outside world). It's easy to see how this can coincide with obsessive existential thoughts. After all, when things feel unreal, how can you help but think about the big questions of existence? So these feelings often make those with OCD extremely uncomfortable, and the desire to make it "go away" inevitably arises. But, just like with anxiety, most attempts to "get rid" of it generally make it worse. Even grounding exercises can become problematic if the goal of those exercises is to get rid of DPDR, just like any other compulsion. That's why my first piece of advice is always to acknowledge and accept the feeling. One way to get comfortable accepting any feeling is to understand where it comes from. As of today, the exact neurobiological workings of DPDR aren't fully understood, but one thing seems to be pretty clear: DPDR is the result of the brain momentarily shifting gears to protect itself from overwhelm. It's something that happens when you are stressed, and/or burnt out. It's the brain protecting itself from overstimulation, similar to a circuit breaker closing down parts of an electrical circuit to prevent overloading. It's important not to take this information as reassurance against the existential intrusive thoughts that arise during DPDR, rather simply as an explanation as to what is happening in the present moment. I'm a big proponent of using "maybe, maybe not" responses to intrusive thoughts. So in the case of DPDR, you may considering responding to the existential thoughts with: "Maybe that's true, maybe it isn't. Right now, this brain is overwhelmed, and it is protecting itself." (Side note: the use of "this brain" instead of "my brain" is a habit I've picked up from Buddhist philosophy. It's a way of practicing non-attachment to the self. If that doesn't work for you then feel free to phrase it in whatever way makes sense. I also recognize the beautiful irony of bringing up non-attachment in a post about DPDR 😂) Basically, you want to acknowledge the existential thoughts, acknowledge the feeling of DPDR, acknowledge that the DPDR is coming from a place of stress, and then refocus your attention to the present moment. The key is to not refocus your attention in hopes to GET RID of the thoughts or feelings, but to do it DESPITE those things. You need to teach yourself first-hand that none of those things are dangerous, and that you can continue to live life while scary thoughts exist in the mind, and while you feel uncomfortable things. The more you try to push the DPDR away, or logically dig yourself out of a hole, the more stressed you will become. And since DPDR is a stress response, this will only cause it to stick around longer. It's the same ironic cycle that fuels the intrusive thought / compulsion loop. Sometimes it can last for a few minutes, a few hours, days, weeks, or even months. While DPDR disorder exists, in many cases (especially with OCD), DPDR tends to persist because of our resistance to it. If you find that it just won't go away, try not to get discouraged. Instead, look for the resistance, and consider how you may be able to open up to the experience in a lighter way. If you find yourself resisting, gently remind yourself: "I don’t need to figure this out right now. I can let the brain do its thing and focus on living life." It can also help to recontextualize the DPDR. I like to think of it like a warm blanket or sweater, or the brain taking a nap. You wouldn't want to wake someone up from a nap, would you? Let 'em rest! I hope there is something helpful here for those struggling with this issue. Trust me, I've been there.
- Existential OCD
- Health Concern OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- OCD newbies
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 18w
Been struggling with existential OCD lately. Very hard to describe the thoughts/feelings, but it is a constant feeling of being stuck in my head. Like what is consciousness and where do I think from? Like I think it’s OCD, maybe it is maybe it isn’t. But if it is, what would be good ERP exercises? Just existing (lol)? And what would be my response prevention? I’m not even sure what mental compulsions I may be doing.
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