Existential OCD Trigger Warning: What is the best ERP for the “What if I’m not real?” thoughts? I’d been doing better-ish, and today I’ve been freaking out. Okay, so truthfully, every day has been a form of a living hell on earth, it’s just some days aren’t quite as tormenting as others. I hate DP/DR, which came right along after I saw a post about a year and a half ago, from someone who acted like we can’t prove our existence. I know there isn’t any evidence to think I might not exist, but this is torturing me. Help! I need to do self-help because of finances at the moment.

That’s terrible. I’m really sorry. Are there things he’s deathly afraid of? Next time he pokes fun at you, do the same with his fear. I don’t really like this method but people don’t take OCD seriously and the only way he will understand is if he’s in our shoes. We’re dealing with misfired alert which puts us in fight or flight mode.

First definitely identify when your mentally compulsions. Then read statements that will trigger your anxiety. You can also record yourself saying “i am not real. No one is real”. Keep listening so you can’t reassure yourself. Try it for five to fifteen minutes (depending on how much you can do). The important thing is to do the exposures and not compulse. So if you can do fifteen minutes one day but only five minutes next day without ritualize get then do what you can. If you ritualized then “spoil” yourself by exposing to your fears. I hope that helps.

I deal with this constantly! My husband thinks it’s funny and will try to make me think that he’s not real. Then I start crying and he feels bad.

I understand. But he still shouldn’t make you cry just because he doesn’t understand it. You’re already crying from the OCD bully. Have you tried showing him videos about what OCD is about? Maybe if he sees or reads it might help and open up his mind? I’m not trying to attack anyone here but it upsets me when other sufferers aren’t taken seriously. The last thing we need is mocked and ridiculed.

Oh okay. I’m sorry about that. But definitely sit down with him or just send him links so he can look at it when he can. I’m sorry for making assumptions.

I’m so sorry @katieKAT. When you feel you’re about to have a panic attack try the breathing exercise. It will help. Focus on your breathing. In through your nose and count to five. Then slowly release out of your mouth and count to seven. The exhaling should be longer than when you inhale oxygen. Also let your diaphragm expand, not your chest. You can also try ginger candy. It helps me with nausea from anxiety.

We have the same type of OCD :) I have existential OCD that was triggered by a chronic episode of DP/DR after constant stress and illness over other OCD themes. Its hard. But I’m getting better. My ERP looks like this, I say these phrases over and over: - maybe I’m not real - maybe my family isnt real - maybe my friends aren’t real - maybe im in a coma Etc, etc. I start at 30 seconds of doing this, then a minute. Then two, then four, then eight, it gets easier I swear. DP/DR is probably the worst of it. I like to think of it as severe mental exhaustion due to insular thinking and self monitoring. I mean, that’s basically what it is after all. Start thinking of it as a big scary disorder and you’re probably gonna get even more panicked. Hang in there :)

@KatieKAT I’m preparing to see a new therapist soon, but I’ve done a lot of ERP on my own, after getting clearance from a therapist that I’m doing it right :)

The struggle is so real guys. ? I don’t have existential OCD but that sounds intense. Glad there are others on here too who can support you. One of my obsessions lately has been, “What if you don’t really have OCD and this is all a lie?” Sigh..this disorder is so stupid and insidious, trying to get me to doubt a professional expert OCD diagnosis.

Do you have any compulsions? Or is this pure-O? Or do you do a mental compulsion?

Mental compulsions, trying to reassure myself that I’m real, that I can trust this is reality, etc.

Existential OCD. Definitely not the kind of OCD the public has much awareness of. Maybe we will change that in the future. :) What is DP/DR?

When you’re mentally compulsing *

I think it is just hard for him to understand that I will actually believe these things. I’m starting to open up more with him about my ocd, and I think he’s starting to understand better.

I think I may have worded that wrong- he’s only done it like two times. In his defense I laugh when I’m telling him about it (i laugh when I’m nervous) so he probably thinks I’m joking... ya know, until the tears start.

Im honestly scared for him to know what it’s really like

May I ask why?

@MeMeMe, and CrazyCatLady, thanks for sharing! This has been so horrible. I’ve been spiking so bad. I freak out, because I worry I might just stop believing I am real, and completely waste my life. Also, I have company coming tomorrow, and I’ve had such bad derealization, I worry about panic attacks.

@TabbyKitty, thank you so much!! I can’t tell you how much it means to know I’m not the only one struggling with this theme. I’ve had so many different ones, but this has seemed like the worst with all the DP/DR feelings, and questioning if I exist. Ugh. I’m a Christian, and this has made it so hard to feel my faith or anything else that I’ve felt like I’ve known for sure before OCD. You’re right, we don’t need to be scared of DP/DR. It really does come form total mental exhaustion and stress. Back when I felt normal and didn’t deal with this, if something extremely embarrassing happened, I’d have DP/DR for a few minutes only, like everyone else. It doesn’t help that I haven’t been sleeping the last 2 nights because of my sensitive stomach. Tell me, do you see a therapist, or do you know enough now to just do ERP aim your own? Hugs, and thanks again! :)

*sorry for the typos. ;)

@TabbyKitty, do you feel like the existential OCD has made you question literally everything, like even your own logic? I feel like I’m always questioning how I can know anything, especially when the DP/DR is bad.

@KatieKAT absolutely. Its the first OCD theme I’ve had that made me feel genuinely insane

@TabbyKitty, Thank you for getting back to me. I’ve been obsessing big time today, and trying to show myself these thoughts are irrational. I’m really struggling with that aspect of it. Did you ever feel like there were real reasons to worry about if you didn’t exist? I understand that the very act of worrying is evidence you do exist. I know it will sound dumb to you, but even though I’m a Christian, and God wouldn’t trick us, I’ve worried even our thinking could be an illusion, like we just “think we’re thinking”, even though that’s a contradictory statement. Did you deal with any of these things?