Hello friends! I’ve never made a post before but I could really use some advice and support in this moment from other people who experience the same thing as me!! I found out about my OCD a few months ago. I’ve struggled with HOCD and POCD and I think I might be experiencing ROCD right now. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over 6 months and he’s wonderful. I’ve had a lot of bad relationships and this one has been completely different. He’s healthy and loving and understanding. He’s been with me on this whole OCD journey even before I knew that’s what I had. I just told him I was having these thoughts about my sexuality that I couldn’t get out of my head and dreams that were really scaring me. It’s been a hell of a 6 months but he’s been consistent. We’ve been in a long distance relationship which comes with its own challenges for anyone. But I have found myself just having a ton of anxiety every time we talk recently. I also just graduated from college and I’ve been in a lot of transition. I moved back home for a few months to get help from my family and a therapist and to figure out what was going on which ended up being OCD! All along my plan was to move to be with him. I have been planning on it but pushing out the deadline back and back because I’m scared. But I’ve set everything up for this week; shipped my car, I’m paying rent for an apartment, and I have a plane ticket for this Wednesday. There are a lot of positives to me moving; more structure and routine than I have here, trying to figure out if this is the right relationship, I’ll be close to Nashville so I can pursue my music dream, my therapist can keep doing sessions with me until I can start seeing a therapist there. But basically I’m panicking about moving as it’s getting closer. What if I get there and I’m isolated and fall apart? Or put too much pressure on the relationship? Or maybe the relationship is wrong because I keep getting anxious? Maybe I’ve never actually lived him and I’ve been faking it maybe were too different and I’m going to move there and ruin my whole life and his. Any thoughts on big moves like this? Or if what I’m experiencing sounds like ROCD? What should I do

Mike1234

Date posted: 5y

Sometimes change is the best thing that can ever happen to you. Even through the what if’s and self-doubt moving forward through uncertainty gives you power over ocd and builds self confidence and stability.

purewater

Date posted: 5y

I relate to a lot of what you said. My long distance girlfriend and I have been together for over a year, and about 9 months into our relationship my mental state took a massive decline that I'm still recovering from, and it's tough. but despite all the tough moments my mind has thrown at me, my girlfriend has been nothing but caring and supporting. not to reassure you, but your anxiety is not an indicator of whether the relationship is right or not--it will question you no matter who you date. the fact that he's been so supportive of you I think is a good sign, given I don't know much else about your situation. stay strong friend, and follow your heart, you got this!

autumngrace

Date posted: 5y

Wow. Just knowing somone else has been through the same thing is so helpful thank you

autumngrace

Date posted: 5y

I just don’t know if I always know what’s best. Ocd has made me really lack trust in myself

Ginger77

Date posted: 5y

moving across the country is defiantly not for everyone. But if it's something that you think is beneficial for you go for it. what are the pros and cons

autumngrace

Date posted: 5y

@Ginger77 Kind of what I said in my post. Pros are more stability, structure and routine. Getting to be with my boyfriend and maybe experience love?? Cons are that it could just go really badly/don’t really know anyone there or have the same support in that way/ maybe I shouldn’t move if I’m not healthy enough

Ginger77

Date posted: 5y

@autumngrace do you have a backup plan in case it does not work? (that could help your anxiety)

autumngrace

Date posted: 5y

@Ginger77 Just to move back home. Keep working as a server until I figure out what’s next I guess

Ginger77

Date posted: 5y

@autumngrace there you go, see your good to go if it falls through. I hope that helps some.

Ginger77

Date posted: 5y

@autumngrace wish u all the best

Ginger77

Date posted: 5y

How many times have you two met up?

autumngrace

Date posted: 5y

Well we had the whole summer together working again camp. And then we have met up three times since then for a few weeks each

Ginger77

Date posted: 5y

@autumngrace How far are you moving from home

autumngrace

Date posted: 5y

It’s across the country haha

Ginger77

Date posted: 5y

I mean you gotta do what you think is best

autumngrace

Date posted: 5y

So like I made this decision but now I’m going back on it

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