- Username
- uwotm8
- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Username
- uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 4y ago
If he leaves me for good that’s the end of me
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Oof can't even make up his mind?? :/
- Username
- uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 4y ago
It’s happened so many times I don’t even feel like his Girlfriend sometimes
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@uwotm8 What is he trying to do?? Like boy, make up your mind ?
- Username
- Janey01Janey01
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Have a good talk. Even if he leaves you for good (touch wood) it's not the end of you. In fact I think it's better to know is there any future for this relationship; I'm concerned the confusion can result in insecurity which feeds anxiety, which might exacerbate the situation.
- Username
- uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 4y ago
It really is I can’t stomach the idea I love him
- Username
- Carl CornettCarl Cornett
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Obviously, outside looking in on limited information, it seems you have a codependent relationship with less than healthy norms.
- Username
- Sunrise22Sunrise22
- Date posted
- 4y ago
That does seem true - I struggle with codependency and had a previous partner that was hot and cold but I never left. If this is truly what’s happening it sounds emotionally abusive and you’d be better out of the relationship.
- Username
- Carl CornettCarl Cornett
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Sunrise22 Agreed.
- Username
- uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@CSquared He’s going through a lot and has done ever since I met him. His dad died a year ago, his ex (who’s a narcissist and abused him for ten years) owns a business with him and was harassing us at the start of the relationship, he never grieved properly for his dad, then he had to move house, his own health was up in the air from previous cancer treatment he underwent himself years ago and nownbis mother has been diagnosed with cancer too. Started her treatment yesterday. He’s not coping well, he’s drinking too much and at times has said “do you think we should stop seeing each other” about 6 times. He’s admitted he worries he’s pushing me away and he’s only “temporarily” feeling low due to his mothers shock diagnosis. He text me out of the blue today at work saying “I think I might need some space” then he fell asleep for hours and I assumed it was me he didn’t wanna see, so I got super upset. I have abandonment issues because MY ex partner suddenly threw me out after ten years with no warning so I am hyper sensitive to him now. But then again he did tell me to not go back to his today after work without explaining why...a few weeks after asking me to move in? Very confused
- Username
- Sunrise22Sunrise22
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@uwotm8 I would recommend listening to him and give him space. This means sending him a single text or leaving a single voicemail where you tell him you care about him and are available if he’s ready to talk. Then you go no contact and give him the space he wants. It’s hard and feels hurtful and counterintuitive, but giving him the space right now is best. If your relationship has a chance of succeeding long term, you need to actually give him what he’s asking for right now
- Username
- uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Sunrise22 Well I did then he regretted it and picked me up
- Username
- Sunrise22Sunrise22
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@uwotm8 So there you go - giving someone space is going to do one of two things: one or both of you realizes that it’s better for you not to be together, or the person asking for space regrets it and comes back. Either one really is a positive even though it may not feel like it in the moment
- Username
- Sunrise22Sunrise22
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@uwotm8 @uwotm8 If he’s again asking for space, I would recommend really taking this time to decide if YOU want to have a partner who is asking for it repeatedly. Remember that you’re worthy of someone who is consistently available. Everyone needs space once in awhile but asking for it and then coming back repeatedly isn’t healthy - especially when in a relationship with someone like you who is so (rightfully) fearful of being abandoned.
- Username
- Janey01Janey01
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@uwotm8 I feel that the two of you now are in need of someone who is supportive.. it would be good for you two to be together if you could positively support each other.. but if like the above scenario..it seems like it's a challenge for him. Maybe your boyfriend is struggling.. like he feels unwell and needs to be alone and yet at the same time he wanna be sweet to you.. so he keeps swaying between wanna having distance and being with you. I'm not suggesting that you two are not suitable for each other which is dependent more on character than current personal health.. but you two might truly want to consider taking a break from the relationship.. then when both feel better then re-evaluate whether to continue with the relationship.
Related posts
- Username
- Cat_attack
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half. I currently still live with my parents and him with his. He moved a few states away a year ago and only stayed here because he says he fell in love with me. Now he wants to move back and he’s trying to convince me to with him. It just feels like a huge step. And I’m not sure I’m ready which I’m trying to tell him but he is not happy here. We are both in our late 20’s and both want to be away though. Idk sometimes I feel like he isn’t what I want. But then idk if that’s part of OCD. Maybe a mix of that along with generalized anxiety over constantly believing I make the wrong decisions about everything. I feel like we’re going to eventually break up because we’re not similar enough but know he would never and it would end up being me doing it so I should just do it now, but then never do because I don’t want to be without him. Idk maybe it’s because he’s my only friend? Maybe I’m way overthinking like I do everything. It’s hard because I don have any real friends. I’m starting to make work friends but that would end if I moved away. Which makes me sad because I’m feeling less utterly alone. But then I think this may be the perfect time in my life to do this because I don’t have friends and haven’t in years and shouldn’t avoid moving because of the friends I’m just starting to make, because I could make friends somewhere else too. And this is my chance to start over I’ve always just wanted to start fresh. Thoughts?
- Username
- Jaxiju
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’m suffering from ROCD and yesterday I felt so overwhelmed with everything that I suddenly bursted into tears in front of my boyfriend. I wanted to break up and told him that I feel very uncomfortable since a few weeks and that I miss my home and my family. I just wanted to run away. He didn’t know that I wanted to break up, he calmed me and took me in his arms. Then we fell both asleep and I was doing better afterwards. But now I feel ao devastated that I had this break up urge. I don’t know what to do now. I want to stay with him. This conversation yesterday changed my point of view. But I feel the need to confessto him what I wanted to say yesterday. But he would be so devastated. I feel so lost 🥺 I love him and I want to stay.
- Username
- Honeyshark
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 37w ago
I feel defeated
It’s not going well with my boyfriend and I (we’re long distance and he travels for work) and we’ve been arguing a lot - half of them cuz of my anxiety and half cuz of … both of us? My ROCD feels high but also I ask for things like - where is this going over the next two years? When can we meet each others family? So that I can feel secure and tell me ROCD to shove it. But his answers are that he isn’t ready yet especially cuz we’ve been arguing so much. My brain is telling me to cut and run. My ocd is telling me the same. Everything is yelling at me to leave. I’m so tired of this.
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