uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
If he leaves me for good that’s the end of me
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Oof can't even make up his mind?? :/
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s happened so many times I don’t even feel like his Girlfriend sometimes
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 What is he trying to do?? Like boy, make up your mind ?
Janey01Janey01
- Date posted
- 5y
Have a good talk. Even if he leaves you for good (touch wood) it's not the end of you. In fact I think it's better to know is there any future for this relationship; I'm concerned the confusion can result in insecurity which feeds anxiety, which might exacerbate the situation.
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
It really is I can’t stomach the idea I love him
Carl CornettCarl Cornett
- Date posted
- 5y
Obviously, outside looking in on limited information, it seems you have a codependent relationship with less than healthy norms.
Sunrise22Sunrise22
- Date posted
- 5y
That does seem true - I struggle with codependency and had a previous partner that was hot and cold but I never left. If this is truly what’s happening it sounds emotionally abusive and you’d be better out of the relationship.
Carl CornettCarl Cornett
- Date posted
- 5y
@Sunrise22 Agreed.
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
@CSquared He’s going through a lot and has done ever since I met him. His dad died a year ago, his ex (who’s a narcissist and abused him for ten years) owns a business with him and was harassing us at the start of the relationship, he never grieved properly for his dad, then he had to move house, his own health was up in the air from previous cancer treatment he underwent himself years ago and nownbis mother has been diagnosed with cancer too. Started her treatment yesterday. He’s not coping well, he’s drinking too much and at times has said “do you think we should stop seeing each other” about 6 times. He’s admitted he worries he’s pushing me away and he’s only “temporarily” feeling low due to his mothers shock diagnosis. He text me out of the blue today at work saying “I think I might need some space” then he fell asleep for hours and I assumed it was me he didn’t wanna see, so I got super upset. I have abandonment issues because MY ex partner suddenly threw me out after ten years with no warning so I am hyper sensitive to him now. But then again he did tell me to not go back to his today after work without explaining why...a few weeks after asking me to move in? Very confused
Sunrise22Sunrise22
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 I would recommend listening to him and give him space. This means sending him a single text or leaving a single voicemail where you tell him you care about him and are available if he’s ready to talk. Then you go no contact and give him the space he wants. It’s hard and feels hurtful and counterintuitive, but giving him the space right now is best. If your relationship has a chance of succeeding long term, you need to actually give him what he’s asking for right now
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
@Sunrise22 Well I did then he regretted it and picked me up
Sunrise22Sunrise22
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 So there you go - giving someone space is going to do one of two things: one or both of you realizes that it’s better for you not to be together, or the person asking for space regrets it and comes back. Either one really is a positive even though it may not feel like it in the moment
Sunrise22Sunrise22
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 @uwotm8 If he’s again asking for space, I would recommend really taking this time to decide if YOU want to have a partner who is asking for it repeatedly. Remember that you’re worthy of someone who is consistently available. Everyone needs space once in awhile but asking for it and then coming back repeatedly isn’t healthy - especially when in a relationship with someone like you who is so (rightfully) fearful of being abandoned.
Janey01Janey01
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 I feel that the two of you now are in need of someone who is supportive.. it would be good for you two to be together if you could positively support each other.. but if like the above scenario..it seems like it's a challenge for him. Maybe your boyfriend is struggling.. like he feels unwell and needs to be alone and yet at the same time he wanna be sweet to you.. so he keeps swaying between wanna having distance and being with you. I'm not suggesting that you two are not suitable for each other which is dependent more on character than current personal health.. but you two might truly want to consider taking a break from the relationship.. then when both feel better then re-evaluate whether to continue with the relationship.
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