One minute he’s asking me to move in, the next he tells me to go home

S-so uhm my bf (?) and I have been a little distant and his spotify yesterday was the same where it says that he's my future husband, and today, it was changed. L-like, i-is he g-go-gonna break up with me??? I'm so scared I'm nauseous and I don't want this stress to cause another seizure, but also kinda don't care at the same time because it would ha-have to be my fault??

My terror seems like it's become a reality. Last night when I asked him if he loved me (we both used to do that before he became really distant), he said he'd think about it. I thought he was joking, but when I checked to make sure, he just said "Good night." L-like, what the hell am I supposed to do with that?? Anyway, cried for a good hour/hour-and-a-half while hurting m*self cuz ya'know, I must have done something for him to be questioning whether he loves me or not. I'm too emotional? Jump to conclusions sometimes? I'm annoying? I'm too much?? I don't know why and it's driving me insane. I'm gonna try and call with him today but, I'm not eating anything. ROCD has made everything Reality. 😢😰😓

I’m like 90% sure I’m just bi, more romantically inclined to men, mainly my bf who I wanna marry. But now my brain is like “if you lean into liking women or keep circling and circling for answers you’ll lose all attraction to men and your bf. You’re practically already a lesbian” I feel so tense and anxious I will admit I am talking to chat gpt out of desperation I’m scared of losing all attraction to him I don’t wanna be thinking about women. I don’t unless I’m really stressed cuz when I’m stressed my ocd can take advantage of that I can usually ground myself when I’m in the city with him but I’m back home for most of the summer and I can’t be physically close to him which usually reminds me that hey this is real this is what I really want in life. Him But then I panic and question I haven’t been here in a while tbh. I’m worried I don’t feel enough. I don’t like magic Mike all that much, I like softer guys. But now the fact I don’t like/get turned on by random men on tv but do women in lingerie really stresses me out and makes me worry I’m truly a lesbian but I’m not. Once I started getting to know my bf and my ex bf’s I really did truly genuinely like them and wanted to make out and everything. Idk can anyone relate to the not liking big buff men All my brain is repeating rn is “when he dies you’ll be able to date a woman, when you break up you’ll only wanna date women” and it’s stressing me out. It’s making me nauseous. I was doing well for about a couple days after I initially left but being at home has been so incredibly draining This might give you a vision of how stressful home is: I’ve been on nexplanon for 7 months ish? Only had very minimal spotting during a stressful school period. Today: fully bleeding, like a usual period. I haven’t had my period since having it put in. I wanna go back to my bf so badly rn. I’m so worried I’m faking or don’t feel enough. I’m learning what a healthy relationship looks like and I’m terrified I’m gonna up and leave him when we’re older cuz I’ll finally figure out that I’m a lesbian or smthn. Idk. Someone pls just help me out a tad