uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

How the fuck do people NOT worry all day everyday about being dumped? I feel I’ve gotta do something to stop him ever leaving me 24/7 I feel it has to be to myself, like break a bone or something so he cares more? Or have something bad happen to me that won’t kill me or anything but like make him scared HE will lose ME? I don’t understand how it’s possible people simply, dont fear abandonment? To me that’s absolutely insane. If he leaves me I feel I have no options other than hope I die in my sleep too

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

I think if it wasn’t for my mother and how dreadful it would affect her I probably would end my shit if he left me. I’m not gonna put her through that though I love her so much it would ruin her I so I can’t do that to her

juliasoso

Date posted: 5y

I have the same obsession

Mr JRS

Date posted: 5y

Have these issue been a problem for you in every relationship?

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

No I just panic with my partner now because he’s the first person I’ve really had a proper connection with ever since I was thrown out at random by my ex who I was with for ten years. I feel terrified of abandonment by him now I love him so much

Mr JRS

Date posted: 5y

@uwotm8 You’ve just answered your own problem really. It’s most likely the issue with your ex as to why the present issues are bothering you.

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

@JoshJRS93 Well no cuz I still don’t know how to not panic so it’s not answered

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

@JoshJRS93 I think it’s triggered bpd in me too

Mr JRS

Date posted: 5y

@uwotm8 Aren’t you most likely panicking because of the past?

Mr JRS

Date posted: 5y

@uwotm8 Are you you diagnosed with BPD?

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

@JoshJRS93 No but my symptoms are pretty much described by it when I have looked it up. I’ve thought it for about 18months now. I don’t really want the diagnosis incase that puts people off me and then they abandon me for that too

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

@JoshJRS93 Well yeah of course I am but it still doesn’t solve it just by knowing why I’m scared

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

@JoshJRS93 I’m trying to handle it by myself with a new DBT workbook I have secretly bought cuz I don’t want the manipulative and aggressive sterotype when that’s just not me at all

Mr JRS

Date posted: 5y

@uwotm8 Can’t be diagnosing yourself with BPD because Google said so. Seek help via a GP and see a therapist

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

@JoshJRS93 Did I say I “diagnosed” myself? I said I think I have it. Because I do think I have it. It’s not unreasonable for me to think it either.

Mr JRS

Date posted: 5y

@uwotm8 You’re basically self diagnosing

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

@JoshJRS93 So did you not ever suspect you had ocd before going to the doctor? Cuz you’re being unnecessarily hypocritical. If you’re only here to criticise I’m not interested

Mr JRS

Date posted: 5y

No, I thought I had something called Retrospective jealousy, a non medical disorder. When I went to GP I found out it was OCD

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

Well, I don’t know what point you’re trying to prove but I’m not persuading you of my symptoms because I do think it’s possible I have it.

Mr JRS

Date posted: 5y

@uwotm8 My point is see a GP, I’m giving you some advice. That’s what this group is for.

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

@JoshJRS93 But the negative associations are the bit that scare me. I don’t want people to be like “nope fuck that She’s mental and manipulative and violent” when I’ve never been those things but the association is there with bpd

Mr JRS

Date posted: 5y

Constant ruminating about a person past, ongoing cycles of negative thoughts, etc...

lilly_lu

Date posted: 5y

What helped me is to accept that if that happens, I will be fine and eventually meet someone else

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

I don’t want anyone else

lilly_lu

Date posted: 5y

@uwotm8 You don’t have to want someone else, it’s just with time things would change and you’d heal

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