Everytime something I see or hear I’ll feel something down there and I don’t know why and like I won’t rly freak out much about it which is making me terrified now that like what if those feelings are true? Idk man I hate this :( I don’t wanna be a terrible person and I’m scared I’m disgusting. And my paranoia is getting to me like my friend hasn’t been speaking to me lately and it’s like I’m scared it’s bc of things I’ve said. Idk.

ocdsurvivorem

Date posted: 5y

What you’re experiencing isn’t unique, those are all common symptoms of OCD. However, any reassurance you may get on this app unfortunately won’t help in the long run. It’s okay if your OCD isn’t causing the same kinda anxiety and misery it used to give you. It doesn’t mean you suddenly don’t have OCD. Also I understand the paranoia you’re having about your friend. I’ve had the same kind of fears about my friends. I have a tip for you. Everyone says people who suffer from OCD must learn to accept uncertainty. They’re right. You say you’re scared of being a terrible person. If you’re scared of being a terrible person you aren’t a terrible person. It’s that simple. I do it too but we shouldn’t conflate being a p-do with being a terrible person. You know why? Because if you’re living your entire life debating whether or not you’re a terrible person, you‘ll certainly be miserable. Separating “terrible person” from “p-do” takes the power away from it. Because then what happens if your worst case scenario is true? You’re not a terrible person, that’s for sure. You’re simply a person who struggles with a different type of mental illness. If you were a p-do and you went through all this agony to avoid hurting somebody, you’d be the best (as in kindest and most considerate) damn p-do to ever live. Your distress about this whole situation, however, certainly communicates to anyone reading this that you’re just like the rest of us: someone who has POCD. Let me know if you want me to clarify anything.

ocdsurvivorem

Date posted: 5y

I know how bad it can be. Sometimes when my OCD is super bad, I’ll get a groinal response just from SEEING the word “children.” It can be so miserable. I hope you’ll be able to ride this wave and feel better soon ?

Mars

Date posted: 5y

@ocdsurvivorem Thank you for the response, I will say I guess I’m just confused because I still get intrusive thoughts EVERY time but they don’t bother me as much sometimes now which is why I’m confused and scared. I thought the less you responded the more the intrusive thoughts would go away but they don’t go away I just don’t react to them which makes me so confused. It’s just this horrible cycle that won’t stop.

ocdsurvivorem

Date posted: 5y

@Mars This is a common misconception, but treating OCD doesn’t stop intrusive thoughts. It can only lessen your reaction to them. In the long run, that will lessen your intrusive thoughts. Remember that ruminating over the “meaning” of intrusive thoughts IS responding to them! Your concern about why you’re having these thoughts is a response. I have the same problem you have so I understand. It might seem scary, but the best thing you can do is not assign meaning to the thoughts no matter how scary they may be.

Mars

Date posted: 5y

@ocdsurvivorem Thank you for this info... is there a reason why our brains have these ? I know everyone gets intrusive thoughts but of course people with ocd get them to the extreme. It’s just like... why do we get such disgusting thoughts? Especially ones dealing with things like pedophilia or incest or hurting other people?

ocdsurvivorem

Date posted: 5y

@Mars It’s pretty weird, but apparently EVERYONE gets thoughts like this occasionally. Yes, even the super gross ones. However, a neurotypical brain functions like an email that filters out spam or junk mail. In other words, they don’t assign meaning to them and easily dismiss them. That’s how my psychiatrist explained intrusive thoughts to me. For people with OCD however, those thoughts get stuck because we assign meaning to them and start to doubt ourselves. After this, it’s a reoccurring cycle. There really is no explanation for why everyone gets such terrible thoughts, but what we do know is that everyone gets them.

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