- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes, it's common :(. But we know what we like and want deep inside and we'll eventually figure it out :)
- Date posted
- 5y
There’s a boy ive been seeing since the summer and I’ve liked him a lot since then. And normally when I’m with him it can make my HOCD a little less just because I knew I liked Him. But every so often I get anxiety around him. Like we had a great weekend together this past weekend and I was so happy about it, then yesterday I was with him and i started getting anxiety wondering like do I really like him? And then it started feeling like I didn’t meanwhile I’ve been head over heels for this boy for a while now
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi Becca, I can totally relate to you! I feel the same. When I talk to my boyfriend, it’s usually a little less. When I am not with him or by myself, anxiety spikes. Idk if you experience this but sometimes when I care a little too much about my friends or give other people attention, I start worrying if I am falling out of love with him. I feel like since I like him, I should be thinking of him 24/7 and he should be that one person I prioritize. Due to that, I think I am getting tired of him a lil sometimes lately...
- Date posted
- 5y
I can really like relate to you, I really like this guy at my school and I've had a crush on him for almost 2 years and HOCD spiked only a year ago. I sonetimes doubt if I'm forcing it, but I'm somehow head over heels for him. Him and I don't speak a lot and only know each other through mutual friends but the gestures he makes at me just kinda like him. I also like liked him completely out of the blue so I always feel like I'm having compulsory heterosexuality :(
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel this. I’m also terrified because I’ve hooked up with other guys and while I desired to have contact with them and make out, i wasn’t always into it and it wasn’t always great. Especially if it was a guy I wasn’t into. Now my brain is certain I’m gay. But we are stronger than this
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes queen we are but I really hope to get my attraction back it was so natural and now has become so foreign :(
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- 5y
Yesss. Currently going through it :/
- Date posted
- 5y
So me and him have been talking since the summer and have been hooking up ever since. I feel like me being the girl my crush on him was a little stronger than his crush on me. Like I always couldn’t wait for him to text me and stuff and I’ve been wanting to be serious with him but we decided to take things slow cause he didn’t want us to rush and I agreed. And now he’s showing more interest in me and treating me more like his girlfriend and I’m like not use to it but I liked it this whole weekend ofc. So then last night we were hanging out and there was one thing that turned me off about him and then I started having anxiety like wait do I not like him anymore now that he’s showing more interest in me or something, but the days before when he was I was loving it. And then I start thinking well what if this is a sign in actually a lesbian. Like I like a boy but then when he actually starts showing interest in my I start to not like him or something and it’s because I’m sub consciously a lesbian. Meanwhile I’ve had boyfriends in the past before I had HOCD and I was In love with them and none of this was ever a problem
- Date posted
- 5y
But the funny thing is that I have friends that have told me that once a guy starts showing interest in them more they start not liking them as much. But I don’t honestly think that’s my case because he’s showed a lot of interest in me before and I’ve loved it
- Date posted
- 5y
Ugh idk what to think
- Date posted
- 5y
Sorry for the novel I’m just scared that I’m losing my strong feelings for him. Like I’ve literally liked this boy so much and have even told my friends how I feel like he might be the one I marry bc we have so much in common and get along so well
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel you but at this point, I think best thing to do is not fight with your thoughts and tell yourself, “if it happens, it does. If not, there is someone better.” For me because I keep doubting my love for him & fight with thoughts, I feel like I push him away or start feeling numb. I think best is not to engage in thoughts.
- Date posted
- 5y
I have this intuition that my crush and I our gonna meet someday again and like have something more. I can really relate to you. I've always liked guys but hocd makes me doubt if those feelings were really true :(
- Date posted
- 5y
@chamomil& We are in this together. It sucks and it’s hard but glad to know we are not alone.
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- 5y
@Jennnn Yep, my crush and I had studied language together and it was all great but I feel like I only imagines it :(. I feel like my real memories or events were false
- Date posted
- 5y
This just doesn’t make sense to me Sunday (I was so happy being with him and cuddling) and the yesterday (Monday) I was having anxiety if I actually like him or do I suddenly feel my feelings are going away. Maybe it’s just the fact that we are starting to get more serious that’s just scaring me
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- 5y
But we’ve gotten serious in the past and I was happy about it
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- 5y
Oof I can feel you :(. We are all going to get through this, I promise!!!
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- 5y
The sad part is I have felt like I could love this boy and I would hate to see these feelings for him vanish bc I know that I have liked him so much. I’m full of so much anxiety right now
- Date posted
- 5y
Same as you, our OCD is literally such a bitch when it comes to our sexual and romantic feelings. Things so abstract and vulnerable to doubts. But I hope we all can get through and be with our favourite guys :)
- Date posted
- 5y
I just hate this I went from absolutely loving the thought of being with this boy and getting all happy and giddy about it to now being scared and having anxiety
- Date posted
- 5y
Same :(. I've always had attraction specifically only to guys since I was a kid, now I feel like I'm turning bi/gay and Im gonna fall in love with a girl instead of my crush (I honestly can't bear to think of a girl)
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
no clue if this is compulsive, but I’m interested to hear any obsessions others have that aren’t the “common” ones you see online about what ROCD is? a few for me: - thoughts about their partner being with someone else instead (sometimes a specific person) and then trying to analyze your reaction to it? e.g. does it *feel* more right than us, do I actually feel happy for them, etc. - trying to imagine your partner in your current situation or maybe a specific future situation (when they’re not around) and trying to decide if they “fit” in it? - being super scared of losing them, then suddenly feeling like you don’t care much for them at all, and just constantly cycling? - I almost never fully enjoyed sex because I was constantly obsessing about whether or not I was turned on, turned on “enough,” if I was just having groinal responses and wasn’t actually turned on, looking at his face just to decide if I find him attractive enough, comparing my experience with how I feel watching content alone, etc.
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 19w
Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love, however if you are living with Relationship OCD (ROCD) this can be a very triggering day. Relationship OCD is essentially, the fear of being in the wrong relationship, not truly loving your partner, or not being loved by your partner. This makes you doubt the true nature of your relationship and makes you believe that your entire relationship is based on lies. It can make you feel like a bad person and not worthy of love. ROCD will make you believe that you need to leave the relationship just to find some peace. When we think about ROCD we often think that this only applies to romantic relationships, however ROCD can impact friendships and family relationships as well. ROCD will attack whatever relationship is most important to you. As an ERP therapist some of the most common obsessions that I have seen include “Is my partner ‘The One’”? “Maybe I am meant to be with someone else”. “What if my partner cheats on me or worse I cheat on him/her”? “I find X attractive. Should I break up with my partner and be with X”? “Do I even love my partner? What if they don’t love me?” This list could go on and on. The basis of all of these intrusive thoughts is fear and doubt. The compulsions associated with ROCD are vast. The most common include checking feelings to make sure you really love your partner, avoidance behaviors, reassurance seeking behaviors both from your partner and from others and ruminating on the relationship in the hopes of figuring out if this is the “right” relationship for you. ROCD, as in most theses in OCD, wants 100% uncertainty that this relationship will work out with no conflict or compromise. The problem is this is unrealistic. All relationships will have some level of conflict and compromise in them. There is no “perfect relationship”. Most of us have grown up with fairy tales where one true love will come and sweep up off our feet. Life and relationships can be messy and complicated, but they are worth it and are a key aspect of what makes us human. The fact is ROCD makes you doubt everything and will take the joy, excitement and contentment out of the relationship. The good news is that treatment is available, and it is possible to have a long, happy, fulfilling relationship despite ROCD fears. It does take time, perseverance and patience. Treatment using Exposure Response Prevention has been proven to lessen intrusive thoughts. You will learn to manage your expectations of the relationships while leaning into your fears and learning to accept the uncomfortable feelings. By doing this, you can bring joy and contentment back into you life and your relationships. I'd love to hear about how ROCD is showing up for you. Share your experiences in the comments below or ask your questions about ROCD and I will respond to them.
- Date posted
- 19w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
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