Hey guys. This is my first post on the app. I have struggled with several forms of OCD over the past decade and overcome some more than others. What I am currently experiencing through scrupulosity is without doubt the worst OCD has ever been for me, and my main struggle with this is that most of the information and suggestions on how to deal with this revolve around religious OCD in particular, which is not necessarily what I am struggling with personally. For me, rather than religion, it is more an issue of holding myself to societal standards or difficult philosophical and moral questions. I am constantly, more or less from the moment I wake up until I go to bed, obsessing over concepts of my complicity in things in the world that have absolutely nothing to do with my actions or views, and it is almost like I am trying as hard as I can to attach guilt and shame upon myself for things over which I have no control, things which I have nothing to do with. I keep obsessing over these incredibly depressing and deep thoughts of intense thought cycling, thoughts such as what is the point of trying to be a good person or functioning in society when people in 100 years will think I was awful anyway, I must be doing something now that will make me condemned to eternal judgment by history. These thoughts are incredibly difficult to even describe in words, but they consist of constant arguing with myself and script writing responses to a fictional person cornering me and attacking me about my personal values or choices. This is truly debilitating, and is all I can think about as I sit inside with nothing to do during this stay at home period. I am curious, for those who suffer with religious scrupulosity OCD, does what I am describing sound similar? How do those who relate to this deal with it?

ocdillustrated

Date posted: 5y

This sounds like moral scrupulosity. Ultimately recovery boils down to engaging in regular behaviors regardless of obsessions and the feelings they elicit. ERP is still the treatment of choice

kinginthenorth

Date posted: 5y

I think my biggest struggle has been defining ERP in this sense. For instance: for ERP in driving OCD, you drive, and the response is that you keep going even when you hit bumps. For the more Pure-O type obsessions, however, when the thoughts themselves are the obsessions, all I do by exposing myself to them is just continue the dreadful thought cycling, counterintuitively and frustratingly.

ocdillustrated

Date posted: 5y

@kinginthenorth The key is distinguishing between thoughts that are obsessions and thoughts that are mental compulsions. You want to expose yourself to the obsession, perhaps "I checked out that guys chest, I could be gay" without engaging in mental compulsions "how can I be sure? I'm going to review my memories to find evidence." Or saying over and over "no, I'm straight, I like girls!" Or looking at different people and checking for arousal sensations

kinginthenorth

Date posted: 5y

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Thank you, I think this is a good idea. Some things are more clearly compulsions, such as Googling. I tell myself it’s just research, but really it’s disastrous reassurance seeking. That has to stop for sure

ocdillustrated

Date posted: 5y

@kinginthenorth Absolutely

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