How do I stop reacting to my thoughts? I feel helpless because I have a constant need to reassure myself. . . . I realize that your thoughts can be so overwhelming that you would do anything to stop them. The cycle of obsession-anxiety-reassurance is exhausting and can pull us away from the things we truly care about. Remember though that these thoughts are just your OCD and aren’t a reflection of who you are. But reassurance-seeking is a compulsion, and there are ways to unlearn our compulsive behaviors. One strategy is “doing nothing.” Don’t even take a moment to acknowledge the thought (or feeling or sensation) has occurred, and simply persist through the activity you’re in. Ignoring thoughts is similar to one of the main goals of OCD treatment: becoming able to experience thoughts without reacting to them. But, in and of itself, it’s a very difficult thing to do; and if it comes in the form of avoidance, it might be counterproductive. Similarly, you could take the exposure-based approach of purposely thinking the thought and “welcoming” the thought while resolving not to check. If you’ve worked with an OCD therapist, you might be familiar with the concept of exposure and response prevention (ERP). This means you’re not using any compulsions when you feel anxiety kicking in. Developing strategies for response prevention takes time, and there are no simple answers. Although ERP is the most effective type of therapy for OCD, it can’t work without the response prevention part. If we’re not preventing ourselves from temporarily escaping anxiety, we can’t learn how to do anything else. In general, once they’ve designed some response prevention strategies together, therapists may ask their clients to deliberately intensify their anxiety when they’re in specific situations and it kicks in. Making an exposure out of these difficult situations can help us be more deliberate in our responses and grow from the moment of anxiety, rather than just suffering through it or spending time and energy on compulsions. So, again, working with an OCD therapist is the best way to learn how to create exposures and respond to anxiety without falling back into the same old compulsive cycle.

Hi - just for some context, I have OCD and ADHD. I hate bringing this up, but with these diagnoses, when intertwined, there is ALWAYS a thought. I never stop thinking. This is really hard, especially because I feel like I always need to be talking to someone. Whether it’s my friends or family, talking to people brings me down to earth from certain kinds of thought spirals. However, when I’m alone it is the hardest. When my friends don’t reply I have this compulsion to text again or I need to constantly check my notifications so that I have none left to check. But then to them or new people I talk to, this behavior probably comes across as overwhelming or too much. I’m trying to control it and use erp, but also, I have my moments where I’m just vunerable and give into the compulsion. It’s genuinely so embarassing and maybe not as big a deal as I’m making it out to be but, how do I manage? And how do I relax?

I still do not have an OFFICIAL diagnosis (I dont have the means to do so) but given my symptoms, past and present in my life hugely suggest OCD is what I am dealing with. I cannot be 100 percent certain but after searching for answers and researching for a long time now, I am fairly certain and confident this is what I am struggling with. Given this step forward, I am making more effort into giving up compulsions. at the current moment I believe to be dealing with ROCD, as I have been having several intrusive thoughts that conflict with my relationship. For starters, recently over the past month or 2, I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts like not being over my ex, being attracted to someone else, losing feelings for my partner and not being in love, etc. I can consciously identify that I dont believe these thoughts to be true but it causes me so much distress and anxiety. It gets extremely unbearable some days, and I have leaned into 2 main compulsions. I have relied on thought checking and googling as my source of relief. At first the googling was genuinely to start finding answers; hence why I have made some of the discoveries I have about OCD including this site. But it developed into every time I was anxious, I would whip my phone out and start googling strictly to find an answer that would reassure me or calm me down. As for thought checking, it acted as a way to reaffirm my love for my girlfriend in my head when I have had the thoughts that collide with my relationship and how I feel about my girlfriend. It worked at first but developed into a compulsion where every time a bad thought got me worked up id either do my normal googling or Id think about that in my head to calm myself down. Over time these compulsions have gotten less and less affective and now when I do them it only gets me more anxious and desperate for reassurance (strengthening the cycle or whatever it is lol). I did some more research and finally have accepted the very real fact that I am going to have to sit in heavy anxiety and not give into compulsions for a while in order to treat this. I have to sit in the thoughts that make me feel all this hightened anxiety and distress without giving into compulsion. to be honest I am scared, the thoughts are more rampant than ever, but I am ready to commit to this. I dont think I am gonna be able to go cold turkey on my compulsions so I am ready for the reality I might relapse on the compulsions sometimes, But am gonna keep going until I can break these shackles OCD has on my life right now. I wanna ask, what is everyones methods they use to avoid giving into compulsion when the thoughts get loud? any advice is welcome :)

Hi so i’ve been trying to figure out how to stop mentally checking. I’m doing better at not ruminating!! I realized that me responding to the thoughts it in any way makes me ruminate even more, so i took someone’s advice and let the thought sit there. i sit in the uncomfortable feelings/anxiety, i let the uncomfortable body sensations sit (groinal), i don’t engage, i don’t distract myself, i don’t avoid it (sometimes i notice discomfort and anxiety towards something and expose myself to it), i continue what im doing, i try to stay in the moment, and my anxiety will slowly go down. When i do those things the intrusive thoughts start to fade which means less anxiety and the compulsion loop and shitty feelings slowly fade as well. Im doing better at not googling for reassurance!! However, i notice that im still struggling with checking/mentally reviewing (my arousal, my emotions, my feelings, my attraction, etc). After years of dealing with OCD it’s made me really numb (NO libido, no attraction, no motivation, just numb). Im trying to get my life back and im living everyday and not letting OCD run my life anymore. I’m scared but im not at the same time, i REFUSE to let it take over again. All these years of suffering have literally prepared me for this😭. After years of pure numbness, ZERO attraction (still struggle w this), and avoiding everything, i developed a crush and im now in a new relationship. This has flared up my ROCD and SOOCD again, but when im with him i notice im able to be in the moment, feel my feelings for him fully (not all the time i mess up), but as soon as i go home or im alone, im already mentally checking and fearing the numbness will take over again. I start to ruminate and worry that OCD will make me lose every bit of progress i made, and i’ll lose feelings for him, ruining our relationship and sending me back to that miserable place i was in. if you read my previous posts you’d know how amazing and freeing it has been to feel these feelings with him. but i’m so worried my constant checking will make me even more numb. Even when im not experiencing any thoughts and not anxious, i still subconsciously check what im feeling and start to feel a numb, plain, knot in my chest if that makes sense? Like it’s a dull feeling? ANYWAYS my question is this, how can i stop mentally checking/ mentally reviewing (attraction,feelings, arousal,emotions, body sensations (groinal)) and how can i fix the numbness?? i’m willing to do anything!! idc if it’s hard i just need someone to give me some tips and ill try my best. also if you live in california, and have met with a therapist on this app pls give some recommendations i want to make a free appointment soon!!