i just has a thought that i would like to share... i think that a lot of teens could be going through HOCD in this day and age because there is so much about the LGBTQ community in the media (not like that’s a bad thing btw) back in the day, like maybe the 90s, HOCD was categorised as “fear of being gay” not “fear of being bi” i think a lot of us teens have a fear of being bi because that is seen as a valid sexuality but back in the day i don’t think it was. it was either all or nothing. being gay used to be seen as such a taboo so back then if you were to tell anyone you were getting intrusive thoughts about being gay it would be seen as ghastly and horrible. but now you tell someone who doesn’t get the nature of Pure O and they’d say “oMg iTs 2020 aCcEpT yOuRsElF, gEt WiTh ThE tImEs” which makes it harder for us teens to get through this. i also had a thought that depending on whether you’re a girl or guy, HOCD is difficult in different ways most straight girls watch lesbian porn cus it focuses on female pleasure - HOCD manipulates that i’ve seen tweets saying shit like “how are women even straight have you see a woman naked?” - like sis....really? i’ve seen articles saying women are never straight either bi or lesbian- ....anyways.... - being a straight girl going through HOCD, seeing all that is difficult and not only this but HOCD is focused heavily on straight men and it really pisses me off. all the books i’ve real on HOCD all talk about men specifically and their groinal responses and it’s like...what about me? for guys: the groinal response is more noticeable that’s the biggest struggle i could think of for guys since i don’t know what you guys go through exactly i’ve been told by people that i give of a bisexual vibe because i’m quirky....i literally don’t even know at this point, i could breathe and someone would be like “oMg YoUrE sO bIsExUaL” (ง'̀-'́)ง i kinda want HOCD to be spoken about more cus i feel like it’s one of those OCD subcategories that aren’t really deemed as that important since being gay isn’t a taboo anymore. i feel this way too with ROCD these have just been my thoughts, agree or not idc i just wanted to express my feelings ( ˘ ³˘)♥

I agree 100% with everything you just said! I feel like more people experience this than we know, I don’t know how someone could NOT experience this. No one wants to talk about it because immediately people will say “it’s ok I support you if your gay/lesbian” so no one is going to want to talk about it. Today’s acceptance for LGBT+ people is great but it only fuels our HOCD wired brains more and more unfortunately. And I am not an extremely feminine girl, I have my days, I love to get girly and dressed up, but for the most part, I wear tshirts every day, no makeup, and have a very athletic build so I’ve definitely experienced the “oh you must like girls because of the way you look” and man that gets me on a spiral like no other hahah.

I agree with u. I was straight and happy living my life but hocd has been messing my head up so much that it’s almost took my life one day..I am still struggling but I am recovering slowly. It’s just so hard to tell other about this because they would just not understand thinking I am either lesbian or bi or homophobic

I don't have HOCD but I appreciate your insight. It seems like quite a few people have trouble accessing treatment or social support because of assumptions of homophobia or that it's "denial". That's so tricky, because HOCD isn't well known whereas severe coming-out anxiety is. I think it's also important to remember that the stigma is still a factor for a lot of people with HOCD- they may have gay or bi friends and family, but fear the uncertainty of the potential impact on their lives of the fear were true. Not just because it would be contrary to their sense of self and their hopes for the future, but because it really could bring judgment, violence or discrimination. Magolor has definitely found the key on HOCD by getting to that point, it can for sure be reached through reasoning and response-prevention. What's wild is that for people with HOCD, it's an incredibly triggering prospect to think of living without defining your orientation, because it feels so urgent while you're in the OCD. And yet it really is the answer. Some people will eventually have a very strong knowledge of their sexuality, some won't. I've never had HOCD and I don't know my sexuality or need to know or to put labels on it, as it seems 99.9% irrelevant to my life. I simply flirt with or date who I want. I watch the porn I want. I don't even think about it. When people ask about my sexuality I basically say "beats me". When I get a strong crush, I imagine a future with the person. Nothing about my sexuality can ever harm me because I don't harbour ideals about what my romantic life needs to look like. There's no part of me which is ever going to take some demented grip of my choices against my will and tell me that from now on I must and am only allowed to date some specific subset of people, I'm in charge of my choices. I believe everybody with HOCD can get to the same point as me.

Deleted reply.

Yeah I can't talk to my parents about this bc they would just think that I'm gay

Idk how you feel about this but I'd think in some ways it'd help because a lot of the time the key to dealing with an obsession is to not be afraid of the uncertainty, like the obsession has less power when the idea of it being true doesn't scare you as much? BUT maybe that doesn't explain it entirely because obviously there are still plenty of people who suffer from HOCD. For a while I dealt with something like HOCD (except it was more fear of being straight, so it was just flipped) - and actually it's interesting to wonder about cuz it's not like being straight is taboo in society. But I think the thing that the obsession latches onto is the uncertainty, and the fear of secretly not being what you think you are? At least in my experience that's sorta what it was like. I don't know if this helps with anything but it's just what your thought made me think about

i definitely agree. im a bisexual woman my self so going through hocd was especially hard for me. the constant pressure to have ur sexuality figured out is immense and very very damaging esp with something like hocd.

This is very true. Plus, a lot of articles talk only about HOCD as "the fear of being gay", but they don't mention that there are also lesbian/gay/bisexual/etc people that is also suffering from HOCD/SO-OCD.

Thank you for this. Very important topic that’s unfortunately really relatable