- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I also feel the same way sometimes. I feel like my OCD is ‘different’ or ‘worse’ and it won’t ever get better
- Date posted
- 5y
Well, I think that most of us get thoughts like this sometimes. If you have POCD it feels like the worst because it's the biggest stigma imaginable and causes so much shame. If it's HOCD, it feels so bad because it seems to threaten to take away your future, which is akin to murdering you. If you have real event/guilt/false memory OCDs, the other OCDs seem totally trivial because you've got stuff in real life which you can point to as a basis for how much more threatening and solid the thing you fear is. It always feels like if your fear was true, your life would be over. I've found it actually helps me to go over all the ways that things could still be good if my fear came true/was true. Maybe rock bottom would even allow me to build a life from the ashes.
- Date posted
- 5y
Actually it sounds like listening to those podcasts *could* also be a compulsion, as you may also listen to them in hopes that they give you reassurance that you can get better. Especially if you tend to listen to them at times when you're having anxious thoughts about how bad your OCD is. Perhaps there are better ways to trigger those fears of never getting better so that you can do ERP with them.
- Date posted
- 5y
HOCD is the end of me
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
- Date posted
- 6w
I’m thinking about doing erp but my ocd is so severe the thought of accepting my fears happening to me makes me sick to my stomach. I also believe in the power of my words and saying I accept this Bad thing will attract it into my life. I’m not sure what I should do🥲
- Date posted
- 5w
I read about ERP and have seen information about it on here. One of the goals is to say, "maybe I am this or that...ect." That terrified me. The thoughts and images that go in my head are disturbing and upsetting. I don't want to even think about saying, "maybe this or that." It's devasting to have these thoughts and question why you're having these thoughts. Doesn't the "maybe" make it worse? The one thing that helps me is that is to remind myself that these are just thoughts and I know I'm not a monster, even if I feel like one. Is ERP not for everyone? Has anyone else had a problem with the techniques used in this kind of therapy? I had cognitive therapy for years with an OCD specialist and that seemed to help a lot. Writing out the worst case scenarios would make me suicidal. Im having a difficult time not obsessing over the "maybe" after intrusive thoughts now. It doesn't make it better.
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