- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Literally me. I feel like I have to be with a girl now even though I am not bi or gay just because my mind is telling me that I am not living a true life and it’s exhausting. Because I want my future with my bf not anyone else
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Do not listen to the OCD...it will do anything to mess your life up. Say you break up with your significant other, the OCD and the ruminating will not go away, it will just find something else to attack. And you will be without your relationship for nothing. As hard as it is, resolute yourself to being in your relationship if that's what you know you want and do NOT give attention to what OCD is telling you. Do not let it win
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Why would being gay mean you need to immediately end your happy relationship?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Because I'm "supposed" to be in a relationship with a girl if I'm gay.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
The funny thing is I don't want anything to do with a girl in that way
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@hateocd123 Supppsed to do something you don't want to do? Says who?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Louw Idk its feels like I'm being pushed towards it against my will
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@hateocd123 By who?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Louw By no one
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@hateocd123 Can't you just do what you want to do and not do what you don't want to do?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Louw That's what I'm doing, but the thoughts and the distress don't make it easy
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Your dad is onto something! Mindfulness is a powerful tool when dealing with anxiety. Jon Hershfield has a lot of great articles about it on his website ocdbaltimore.com and in his books. Essentially, it’s living in the now while noticing and accepting all thoughts, feelings, sensations, and so on. The real issue with OCD though isn’t the thought - it’s the uncertainty. Often people will say things like “if I’m gay, I’m gay but why can’t I just be sure?!”. The treatment for this that goes along with mindfulness is ERP. In the mean time, mindfulness is an amazing tool to work alongside it ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y ago
For me it's not like that. It's more like I don't want to be gay, but I feel gay. But feeling gay for me isn't actually being gay it's like this foreign concept that has nothing to do with actually being gay. It's almost like the fear has labeled itself as "fear of being gay" without me even being gay! I like being intimate with men, I like crushing on men. I also like looking at girls. So I know in reality I'm bisexual, but I don't really like that label because I'm not sexually interested in being with a woman and I feel like it's not really a good fit to describe me. It feels as though this has hijacked my identity and I'm "psuedo gay". I wish I had a better way to describe it.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
The "for me it's not like that" part was in reference to "if I'm gay, I'm gay, but why can't I just be sure". It almost feels as if my mind has made up on the surface that I AM gay, but if I dig deeper I know that it's not really me and not what I want. It's the strangest feeling. At this point it's like my brain defaults to accepting that I'm a lesbian just in case I'm wrong about being bi or straight.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
It's that feeling of what if I'm wrong about my sexuality that makes it so disturbing
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w ago
It feels like I’m lying to myself constantly and everyone. There feels like there is a weight on my heart from the moment I wake up till I go to sleep. I don’t want to be gay. Idk why it doesn’t register. Now everyone I see I have to see if I’m attracted to them. I see good looking men and I feel like I’m lying to myself that they are good looking, I see women and I see if im attracted to them. I look at everyone and I feel jealous. I want my fucking life back. But now my OCD (if this is even OCD) is telling me I was never happy and I was always suppressing my feelings of being gay. Why is this happening? Can OCD do this? I can’t enjoy anything ever.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 11w ago
I'm struggling really hard with relationship obsessions. Do I really love my partner? How can I know? Am I really just faking it? That kind of thing. It's making my life and relationship a lot harder than they need to be. I could use a few helpful coping mechanisms, trying to move away from less helpful ones like chasing reassurance.
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