- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Literally me. I feel like I have to be with a girl now even though I am not bi or gay just because my mind is telling me that I am not living a true life and it’s exhausting. Because I want my future with my bf not anyone else
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Do not listen to the OCD...it will do anything to mess your life up. Say you break up with your significant other, the OCD and the ruminating will not go away, it will just find something else to attack. And you will be without your relationship for nothing. As hard as it is, resolute yourself to being in your relationship if that's what you know you want and do NOT give attention to what OCD is telling you. Do not let it win
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Why would being gay mean you need to immediately end your happy relationship?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Because I'm "supposed" to be in a relationship with a girl if I'm gay.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
The funny thing is I don't want anything to do with a girl in that way
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@hateocd123 Supppsed to do something you don't want to do? Says who?
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- 5y ago
@Louw Idk its feels like I'm being pushed towards it against my will
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@hateocd123 By who?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Louw By no one
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@hateocd123 Can't you just do what you want to do and not do what you don't want to do?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Louw That's what I'm doing, but the thoughts and the distress don't make it easy
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Your dad is onto something! Mindfulness is a powerful tool when dealing with anxiety. Jon Hershfield has a lot of great articles about it on his website ocdbaltimore.com and in his books. Essentially, it’s living in the now while noticing and accepting all thoughts, feelings, sensations, and so on. The real issue with OCD though isn’t the thought - it’s the uncertainty. Often people will say things like “if I’m gay, I’m gay but why can’t I just be sure?!”. The treatment for this that goes along with mindfulness is ERP. In the mean time, mindfulness is an amazing tool to work alongside it ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y ago
For me it's not like that. It's more like I don't want to be gay, but I feel gay. But feeling gay for me isn't actually being gay it's like this foreign concept that has nothing to do with actually being gay. It's almost like the fear has labeled itself as "fear of being gay" without me even being gay! I like being intimate with men, I like crushing on men. I also like looking at girls. So I know in reality I'm bisexual, but I don't really like that label because I'm not sexually interested in being with a woman and I feel like it's not really a good fit to describe me. It feels as though this has hijacked my identity and I'm "psuedo gay". I wish I had a better way to describe it.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
The "for me it's not like that" part was in reference to "if I'm gay, I'm gay, but why can't I just be sure". It almost feels as if my mind has made up on the surface that I AM gay, but if I dig deeper I know that it's not really me and not what I want. It's the strangest feeling. At this point it's like my brain defaults to accepting that I'm a lesbian just in case I'm wrong about being bi or straight.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
It's that feeling of what if I'm wrong about my sexuality that makes it so disturbing
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w ago
hi. so one big factor of my OCD is rumination. i met a guy who i have a crush on the idea of (idea bc there are red flags). my biggest fear is not finding true love, my ex told me no one else would deal with what i have (my ocd, specifically reassurance seeking and getting overstimulated after intimacy). a few weeks ago, my friends and family all gathered and tried to give me advice that sounded like “you’re shy and you’ll never find someone.” after that, i’ve felt off. i’ve been using an unhealthy coping skill, daydreaming, and i’ve just felt unbalanced. my ocd makes everything feel different sometimes, i can’t explain it. life, myself, almost like being in a dissociated state. has anyone else experienced that? i don’t know how to remain balanced during my off times and i know pms exasperates it all. i take ashwaghanda and omega 3s in a multi vitamin daily. i take them all together in the evening but i’ve missed three days recently and also messed with my rocky sleep schedule because of fun times with friends. i hope these supplements work, because i don’t know if i’d be brave enough for medication. i had a bad reaction on prozac and often am forgetful. i just have been battling my OCD consciously for almost ten years now and unconsciously for longer. i am so tired, as my mental health extends beyond my OCD. i’m in talk therapy with some cbt aspects but i only see her twice a month. i’ve broken down so many times and promised myself id get on track or that certain things would work, but it’s like i am stuck in a circle that gets smaller when i’m able to help myself. i just want to be normal. i want to be able to mess up my sleep schedule to enjoy good times and not suffer horrible consequences or fear that i will be entirely thrown off balance. i don’t want to worry or doubt or feel so dissociative that i squint my eyes for a moment and wonder why i feel so unreal. i will never understand why god has allowed me to go through this. i cannot let it be for nothing but i don’t know how much more to bend and contort my body and brain to get somewhere stable but how lovely it would be if i could. i don’t have much of a schedule right now, i get apathetic and give in with things from time to time. one thing can trigger me and i am back to square one wether in a week or month. any advice, any and all is so helpful. your stories, your thoughts. maybe feeling less alone and knowing what has helped you is exactly what i need right now. thank you 💗
- Date posted
- 16w ago
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I'm struggling really hard with relationship obsessions. Do I really love my partner? How can I know? Am I really just faking it? That kind of thing. It's making my life and relationship a lot harder than they need to be. I could use a few helpful coping mechanisms, trying to move away from less helpful ones like chasing reassurance.
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