My dad keeps telling me enjoy the now. I say What if I'm gay or I'm gay and he says so what, why does that matter? I say it makes me feel like I have to do something about it right now like end my relationship (that I'm happy in). Then he says it's not important to do anything right now, there are important things you have to do today and they're enjoyable so do those. Logically this makes sense to me, but it's really hard. Really, really hard. Anyone have any coping mechanisms for people with Autism and OCD? I get overwhelmed very easily and it can get out of hand very quickly if I spend time focusing on my obsessions.

So, I’m gay, but I have obsessive thoughts about being straight. The idea of being with a man is not something that I find appealing, but a mix of OCD and compulsory heterosexuality causes a lot of anxiety for me. Does anyone else have similar issues? If so, do you have any advice on how to cope?

I wonder what people think about having SOOCD as a straight person and simultaneously striving to be queer-positive and affirming. I feel most “myself”, most free, when I don’t feel pressure from my subconscious to act out on gay impulses and become a flamboyant personality, and when I don’t even have to think about “being straight” because I just am who I am. Even though I’d like to be free from gay obsessions and false attractions that feel like they’ve evolved into real attractions (even though i still don’t feel like I truly want men), I feel guilty that I am choosing not to let this flamboyant “alternate” personality develop. I feel like I’m not a true ally if I’m saying it’s beautiful for other people to experience queer sexuality, but when I experience obsessions and therefore feelings of a queer nature I dismiss it as “not me”. I know we can’t defeat OCD with neat forms of reassurance or ways of explaining the pressure away, but I’m having a hard time not embracing obsessive gay thoughts because I feel bad not actively affirming them. But then accepting them as real makes me super anxious and untrue to myself. Thoughts?

I need any sort of advice again Idk what to do, I feel so shi*ty rn, even accepting that Im gay isnt helping. Well I posted 2 hours ago. Am I not accepting It properly? Or do I have to give It time and embrace it or whatever? But I dont feel good. Ive completely torn apart the belief I had that I was straight pre ocd bc It gave me so much proof now when I look back to my old life, I feel blank and Its causing me so much anxiety and pain thinking that I was always gay and didnt notice. I feel like I dont have any identity right now or that Im forming a totally new one. Its so so painful. Despite feeling so awful, Im having full body arousal all the time and an urge to act on my thoughts. Ugh how the hell is this possible. I feel miserable when I think that I cant or wont be able to like girls anymore. Do I just have to move on from wanting to feel something for women? Man, before ocd I thought I couldnt get a gf or talk to women bc I just have severely low self esteem issues , but It feels like I was actually gay all this time, I already believe this so why cant I let it go? Is this what denial looks like? Ughhh