I’m struggling today. Everything’s coming at me all at once. My rocd peaked into my dreams again so I woke up anxious and then my hocd came in and now it’s like hocd is attaching to incest ocd?! Like what the hell is this?! I can’t stop connecting it to my mom and I want to vomit but at the same time it “turns me on” which makes me even more nauseous & she always moans which makes everything worse & makes me uncomfortable, this happened to the point where I was like why doesn’t it bother me about my dad or brother (my dad doesn’t live with us parents are divorced but my brother does) why my mom?? They’re both disgusting but just the fact that my moms female makes me even more nervous!! & it even brought my brothers gf into the picture as if I want her when I DONT. My mind is all over the place and whenever this happens my tocd comes into play also and I just want to cry. I can never catch a break. I hate my brain. I feel like I’m living a lie towards my boyfriend. I feel like I’m living a whole different life and it makes me feel guilty and shameful. I hate this.

Girl you’re okay! You’re not living a lie towards you boyfriend, the OCD just makes you believe it! And don’t pay attention to your dreams. Dreams mean absolutely nothing! Also dreams that include same sex sex are usually a reflection of what you saw during the day (like something on TV) and did you know that lesbian dreams aren’t trying to tell you you’re a lesbian? They are there to say that you are proud of your femininity! Women in their third trimester of pregnancy get them all the time because they are feeling very feminine taking in the new role of becoming a mother. Please don’t give meaning towards your dreams! Also please just take a step back and know your identity! OCD will try to twist and turn it but you have always liked guys so you know who you are and what you want in life! Everytime a thought comes up say maybe I am bisexual, maybe I am not, but I’m going to continue living my life straight. Then go about your day the best you can! The less meaning you give these thoughts the better! You are beautiful and loved and not alone and you are not gay and you aren’t ever going to do anything related to it so please don’t worry! I know it’s hard but the less meaning you give to these thoughts the better because they don’t mean anything!

it totally makes sense that rocd, hocd, incest ocd, and tocd would go hand in hand as they’re all sexual themes. this happens to me too and it sucks! almost every morning my dreams trigger me even when I can’t remember them lol it’s so weird the mornings suck. and i’ve had the same weird thoughts about my family and it just feels like my brain never stops. i totally feel u you’re not alone!

Hey Kea, I’m in a super similar situation to be completely honest! Rocd, HOCD, the dreams, feeling like I’m lying and manipulative, I’ve even had dreams with my mom too for some reason. OCD is a bitch! Of course I also have ocd about whether I actually have ocd, so sometimes I just think I’m the bitch! Connecting with people helps tho, I can’t tell if it’s a compulsion or not

I just wanna have a normal life where I can enjoy every second and marry my boyfriend in the future and start a family but every day’s a struggle.