It seems that My anxiety seems to spike at night when I am trying to relax/fall asleep. Images flash in my mind and thoughts are cranked up to max volume. My heart pounds as my body increases in temperature and I feel like im losing it. Groin responses happen in the instant an image flashes in my mind and a rush of anxiety/panic quickly follow suit. These terrorizing feelings only make it feel like my POCD is not POCD. “You like this taboo”, “you’re attracted to kids”. “Now you cant stop thinking about it”. It just feels Like im the exception. Im trying to ignore or not give much reaction to the thoughts but it seems to only be getting harder. I find myself desperately googling at times(yes i know thats bad) to find someone’s situation who matches mine to the t only to read something that triggers me even more and worsens the OCD. “Well thats them but what about you,huh”. “Maybe youve been like this all along”. Now I am still in bed wanting to not go into work. My head hurts. New thoughts come in daily.

Id like to believe that there are variations because people are all different, we all think similarly but in different ways if that makes sense. The thoughts literally wouldnt be as torturous if the feelings that are associated with them werent present. Those damn feelings give them meaning

Yeah you’ve asked me that before sorry I didn’t reply I just feel like it’s not going to work but at this point I will try anything because this is just got to change.

Im not sure how to perform ERP and what exactly is scripting?

@Hylian ERP involves exposure to the feared stimuli (the exposure part of treatment) and simultaneous prevention of the ritual that is typically performed in the face of the anxiety-provoking stimuli or obsession (the response prevention part of treatment). Exposure for pocd could be looking at a clothing catalog for kids and not checking. Scripting is writing out scenarios that play in your head and playing them out and then repeating them until they become mundane. I recommend the book overcoming unwanted thoughts if you haven't read it already.

@James Ahh ok, seems self explanatory. And i will look into that book! Thank you!

@Hylian For me I did exposures and used this app to time myself without checking. If I did my compulsion, either checking or reassuring myself I'd start over. Started with a min or two and built up to ten minute sessions. It was not easy for sure but it has changed my life. I know how tough it is to have these thoughts and how real they can seem. I'm just trying to share hope that there is a way out.

That’s awesome!!! I need to start doing it regardless of how I feel.

@Hmac Best of luck. Let me know if I can help in any way.

Im glad you found a way to get back on your feet!!

Doesnt it make you angry? Lol ugh