Suicidal OCD I went to a psychiatrist today because I was fed up of how bad my Suicidal OCD was getting. I have been suffering so much just trying to figure out whether I’m actually suicidal or just having intrusive thoughts that make me REALLY feel like I want to die (which in turn makes my anxiety extremely high). I feel like I just want to die and am hopeless that I’ll get better. The psychiatrist assured me that it was an obsession but for some reason, I feel like I didn’t give him enough information for him to find out whether I am truly suicidal or just dealing with intrusive thoughts. I also struggle so much in the mornings because I feel complete hopeless and that life is meaningless. I just don’t feel like Suicidal OCD can get you to the point where you feel completely hopeless and lack of interest and just make you want to stay in bed ruminating and suffering all day.

theScientist

Date posted: 5y

Maybe you have both depression and ocd? I hope it will get better for you.

Ibbies

Date posted: 5y

I hope so too, thanks

Kea

Date posted: 5y

Hi, I go through the same thing too sometimes.. does your brain ever convince you that you actually want to die? Tells you that you should jump in front of a car or anything that can hurt you to just end it all? And tells you that you’ll do it in the future? I had these thoughts and at first I was scared but I’ve come to just feel neutral about it which scares me.

Ibbies

Date posted: 5y

Yes, that’s exactly what I experience. And it feels too real for me to ever believe anyone else that would tell me otherwise. Everyone says that me being so afraid and anxious contradicts the idea of me ever doing it, but I just can’t seem to make sense of what I’m feeling because I know I feel hopeless and that I definitely can’t stand life the way it is. I can barely enjoy doing anything at all and I constantly feel so hopeless and that life is just becoming meaningless.

Kea

Date posted: 5y

@Ibbies I understand you completely... I honestly think it’s a little bit of depression and it’s also a struggle living with ocd everyday so I think our brains are just tired therefore it’s hard to truly feel happiness. At least now you know you’re not alone and same goes for me! I’m really sorry that you’re going through the same thing, I know how much it sucks to feel like you’re just existing and not necessarily living but I believe it will get better girlie!:)

Ibbies

Date posted: 5y

@Kea Yeah, I agree with you. And it’s extremely comforting to know that we’re not alone so thank you for reaching out! Maybe if you don’t mind, we can message each other externally on some other app, reddit, or whatever to share our experiences and advice.

OCDano

Date posted: 5y

I can absolutely relate to this! On and off since quarantine started my self harm / violent obsessions have sort of morphed into this over all feeling of dread, sadness and fatigue. Probably a bit of depression as well. These feelings haven’t been constant or even an everyday experience though which gives me some confidence and a good feeling that it won’t be like this forever! Your situation sounds like OCD to me. I’ve been there many times. Hope this helps.

Ibbies

Date posted: 5y

Thank you for reaching out! I’m glad you can relate because that just makes me feel a less alone. For me though, the feelings were severe until the past two days where it’s started to become more of boredom/loss of interest which kind of makes me anxious about OCD. I really hope it doesn’t stay like this forever and I’m glad you think it’s just OCD.

Tf0498

Date posted: 5y

How have you been with since this? I’ve been dealing with the same thing!

mornintheft

Date posted: 4y

hey how have you been? I dealt with this exact thing like a month ago (still kind of am but it is nowhere near as bad as before)

Anxiousminds...

Date posted: 3y

If anyone from this thread is still active, how are you feeling? I’m dealing with something very similar.

aminaaa

Date posted: 3y

I’m in the same boat - i’m exhausted and terrified and i don’t know what to do. I can’t tell whether the thoughts are legit or ocd (which in itself indicates that it is ocd, i know, but still) and i just feel so stuck. How are you doing? Any progress?

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond