- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
My heart goes out to you both. As a female with no kids I can only imagine how painful this is for you. I can only offer a virtual hug and support. I do feel your pain. Lots of love to you both. You are strong!! Don't let ocd defeat you. ❤
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you for this. I’m trying so hard to beat this. I’m using every weapon available to me outside of medication. I just don’t want to allow ocd to lead me to do something (terminating) that I will have to live the rest of my life wondering about or regretting. It’s just so hard because I’m this moment it feels like the solution.
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- 5y
@Cavlaine I really wish there were magical pills that cure OCD for this exact reason. It's hard enough to have POCD and apart from this is having to carry another person. I don't know why but I'm strongly feeling your pain as if it were mine. I really wish I can give you a hug.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m currently pregnant with my 1st and have had pocd theme for 2 years. I’m really scared as well I’m now in therapy doing ERP, it’s very scary but I hear that it helps. Stay strong, you’re not alone
- Date posted
- 5y
I wish you the very best in your pregnancy! Thank you for commenting.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Cavlaine Thank you): I’m hoping I can even be a good mom due to this.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m also pregnant and have suffered with POCD in the past, I used to work in nurseries and schools and it got that bad I had to leave because I couldn’t do my job, I avoided changing nappies and wouldn’t go into the toilet area, it was shortly after this I realised I have OCD, I have also struggled with false memories and have gone on to struggle with different themes Harm, health and many others, I currently take fluoxetine which is fine to take when pregnant and it helps me a lot, what I want to tell you is that this theme can go away, it has popped back up since being pregnant but I am able to let the thoughts go, things will get better for you I promise, there is always hope and you and your lovely children, all 3 of them can live a very happy life, OCD steals joy but be strong you can get through this with the right help, a lot of us have been or are where you are at the moment but recovery can always happen xx
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- 5y
I understand as I have been dealing with this for over a year. We need to stay strong and not allow ocd to run our lives. We got this! Thanks for sharing.
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- 5y
Thank you for your kind words.
- Date posted
- 5y
I know I am not supposed to reassure, but I am 100% certain you could not have gotten pregnant this way. People must go through puberty to be able to father a child. I am so sorry this is leading you down this path, just know that you are a good person and a good mom and that’s WHY you’re so worried to begin with! Your baby will be beautiful!
- Date posted
- 5y
Of course. OCD is relentless and cruel!
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- 5y
Thank you for this Rachael.
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi, I really wanted to comment because what you’re going through is something I would be so scared to do. Pocd has made me choose not to be a mother on dark days, but I realize that’s what I really want to do and I want to fight this so I can take care of kids some day. It must but terrible, but the reason you’re so worried is because you care so much. I know you can get through this although it’ll be really hard. You are a great mom and you can still be with your 3rd child. Please take care, I wish you the best and will be praying for you and your family ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
I too have children and struggle tremendously with POCD. I have struggled with false memories and also questioning my intentions behind every move I make with my children. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find comfort in others stories similar to my own. It’ll be ok. Anytime you need to talk I’d be more than glad
- Date posted
- 5y
I also struggle with questioning ‘what if I was half asleep’. Especially because I bedshare with my kids
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes, exactly. I was bedsharing as well at that time. My fiancé was on night shift so it used to just be my kids and I who would all lay down together at night. Then my fiancé would move them to their beds once he was home. Some nights I’d put them to sleep and then I’d get back up and drink a few beers while watching a favorite show or something to unwind myself before going to lay back down. So now I have all of these what ifs. What if I had drank that night. What if that’s why my memory feels so hazy. What if I was half asleep. What if I acted out a dream. Ect. I even went as far as trying to go back through my memories, photos on my phone, call logs, Facebook poss ect. And I created a timeline of each day. Who I talked to at what time. If I knew if I had anything to drink on that day ect. It led me nowhere.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I’ve always had ocd. But never experienced pocd until after I got pregnant and was fixing to deliver. Anyone else? I’ve been struggling with this for almost 2 years 😩 and Prozac gives me heart palpitations I’m at my breaking point. Idk who I am anymore. And it’s so hard having to be a mother of two on top of not wanting to do anything bc my brain tells me everything I’m doing is inappropriate ☹️
- Date posted
- 20w
Hi NOCD community, I was hoping to get some advice from fellow sufferers. In December we welcomed the first baby into the family, my beautiful niece. Since then, my POCD has been awful, which I know is probably very normal. Last week, in the middle of a very high stress day in my family, I was changing my niece and as usually happens, I got intrusive thoughts about awful things people do to babies when changing them. The thoughts were so harrowing to have as I was also changing her at the exact same time, and I felt my hands just quickly want to finish patting her dry before putting her nappy on, and for some reason, my heart dropped with that hand movement, because I was afraid that I had acted out the awful thoughts in my head, in a moment of mania because my morals, values and heart do not align with abuse of any kind, especially to children. My niece is my everything, and I know I would never want harm to come to her in any way, shape or form. I love her endlessly. I am having therapy, but have only had a couple of sessions. But, I cannot shake the 'what if'. I am tortured over trying to remember what it was I did that made my heart drop, but I can't, and its getting fuzzier and fuzzier the more I try to remember. Could anyone offer any advice on this please? Thank you.
- Date posted
- 16w
Please help me. I need support. I just need someone to be up front with me. Tell me the truth. I want to get past it all. I'm struggling STRUGGLING today. My mind is telling me I'm the only one who is dealing with something like this. Idk why I did my biggest fear. I was put on a new medication when this happened which caused me to spiral, my thoughts to be more often, and have insomnia. I have been diagnosed with POCD as well. I woke up in the middle of the night when my child was laying completely cross my chest. I was breathing and having groinal sensations. My mind told me that I assaulted her by this, and I was going to prison for it. My thoughts started going like this, "you're already bad might as well do something else", "no sense in stopping now" "you can finally do what you've always wanted", "what would you do if you could do anything to cause harm" So I had to think of what to do in the moment. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards my child's groin. In the moment it felt like I really wanted to do this. I proceeded to do so, and my elbow touched her groin. I immediately told my child to move off me. I then went back to sleep. When I woke up, I began panicking, confessing to a family member what happened, and crying immensely. I feel like I failed as a mother. I'm in such distress since I started sleeping on the floor to avoid it from happening again, and I got off the medication. I'm so much better OCD wise since I got off the meds. I was the BEST mom months ago before this happened. The thoughts have always bothered me, and I was always scared I would give in and act on them. I'm living my worst nightmare. I feel alone. Felt so wanted in the moment and SO real. Ugh. Could someone just give me some support? (edited)
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