I’m having a meltdown! Help! I have been reducing my reassurance lately. I went from 250 to now like 20 times. Huge jump in last month. But I feel absolutely awful still because it’s ERP and it gets worse before you get better. I’m so on edge so the slightest things trigger me. I’ve been having a horrible meltdown for an hour screaming at top of my lungs. I just want ERP TO Work!!! I’m putting in so much effort. I believe I’m getting closer but these meltdowns are horrible. Hopefully it’s a good sign that erp is working because the ocd is mad. Anyone else experience this in ERP? It’s such a huge change and I want my life back so bad! During this meltdown, my ocd has told me that I’m never going to get better and I’m scared.

My ERP is current on pause bc of the pandemic. But in a month, I will continue therapy f2f. I’m just having normal sessions online for now.

Okay good! Just be sure you’re communicating your level of distress with them to you’re not getting off track.

@pureolife Ya for sure. Thanks!

Ageeed!!

@Ness I was thinking about pausing my erp as well during this time. It’s just so hard for me to do in unguided even though I try to do it. My therapist says I can’t get better unless I do it everyday. So I get angry with myself when I decide to take a day off. I think everyone heals at their own pace. You have inspired me I think it’s okay to go at your own pace and do it when you’re ready !! :)

@Dess Don’t be angry about that. Right now is understandable if you need to put your ERP on pause.

Thank you! That helps! I’ve been working so hard. My therapist is great and did say this would probably happen. It makes sense because I’m resisting the reassurance. I can’t wait to feel better. How amazing was it when you beat ocd?

@jakemen20 It was incredibly satisfying, truly beyond words to enjoy life again in ways I didn’t think possible. But, I do manage my condition. Although I’m in a better place than ever, I still do maintenance exposures almost every day. I think about mental health like physical health these days. You shouldn’t wait until a heart attack to hit the gym, so I’m not going to wait for a breakdown to work on my mental health.

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett My main ocd theme lately is that I’m going to have to manage this at a horrible level forever. Can you shed some light on that and show how that’s false? Like I know it’s apart of us forever. At the same time, the managing gets way way easier correct? Do you enjoy life more now than you did before you have ocd? I’m going to be so thankful when it fades.

@jakemen20 @jakemen20 Well, I think that’s fear many people have, not just with OCD but other disorders. People with depression also have the fear they’ll be that way forever. So much of our suffering comes from clinging, both to our negative and positive emotional states. When they’re negative, we become entangled in a battle to rid ourselves of the experience. When they’re positive, we become entangled in wanting it to persist forever. Yet, nothing persists forever. Our emotions are transient, both positive and negative. Recovery is hard work, and it can be amongst the most difficult challenges of your life. Everyone’s path is different, both in terms of the experience of treatment and in how they respond. Yet in some future day, there will be a moment where a thought appears in your mind and instead of struggling or fighting or avoiding, you’ll just notice is passes as quickly as it came. And yes, I’m glad I’ve had the experiences I’ve had, even the bad ones. Not that OCD is pleasant or good, but I’ve developed many skills of managing my emotions that I think are great even if you don’t have a mental health issue. It’s also led me here, to a place where I can use my suffering to lighten the burden for others.