- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I think I’m going through it right now I’m internally freaking out due to an erp exercise for scrupulosity and I’ve seemed reassurance many times although the anxiety is not as much I still feel weird n I want to be my old self again but I know this is only possible through erp and faith in God but ocd doesn’t make it a cake walk to beat the intrusive thoughts but please keep going keep pushing I won’t give up if u don’t
- Date posted
- 4y ago
My ERP is current on pause bc of the pandemic. But in a month, I will continue therapy f2f. I’m just having normal sessions online for now.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
ERP for me doesn’t make me have meltdowns, but it does make me feel physically tired and drained. And it brings my mood down because I have to do ERP. It brings shame and anger that I have to do this. So I know it’s not easy.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Ocd specialist. 250 was 2 months ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Okay good! Just be sure you’re communicating your level of distress with them to you’re not getting off track.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@pureolife Ya for sure. Thanks!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I’ve been in 100s down to 30s recently
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Don’t give up. I get so frustrated as well when I feel like shit afterwards. Continuously. Something has to come of it. ??
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Ageeed!!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Ness I was thinking about pausing my erp as well during this time. It’s just so hard for me to do in unguided even though I try to do it. My therapist says I can’t get better unless I do it everyday. So I get angry with myself when I decide to take a day off. I think everyone heals at their own pace. You have inspired me I think it’s okay to go at your own pace and do it when you’re ready !! :)
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Dess Don’t be angry about that. Right now is understandable if you need to put your ERP on pause.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
It’s a common experience in treatment. Your brain has been working in a very specific way for some time. Compulsions have been your safety net to massage the bad feelings that arise from your obsessions. Now you’re intentionally conjuring the obsessions without compulsions, and your OCD reacts more strongly because it insists you respond the way you always have. Slowly but surely, your brain learns that even this escalation of obsessions can’t shake you. In the mean time, that misfiring danger signal our brain gives off might be louder. This is going to be hard, but it is so worth it. Keep in contact with your therapist and share your experience. As best you can, when these feelings appear, try and become even more willing. “Oh yeah, OCD? Let’s do this.”
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thank you! That helps! I’ve been working so hard. My therapist is great and did say this would probably happen. It makes sense because I’m resisting the reassurance. I can’t wait to feel better. How amazing was it when you beat ocd?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@jakemen20 It was incredibly satisfying, truly beyond words to enjoy life again in ways I didn’t think possible. But, I do manage my condition. Although I’m in a better place than ever, I still do maintenance exposures almost every day. I think about mental health like physical health these days. You shouldn’t wait until a heart attack to hit the gym, so I’m not going to wait for a breakdown to work on my mental health.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett My main ocd theme lately is that I’m going to have to manage this at a horrible level forever. Can you shed some light on that and show how that’s false? Like I know it’s apart of us forever. At the same time, the managing gets way way easier correct? Do you enjoy life more now than you did before you have ocd? I’m going to be so thankful when it fades.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@jakemen20 @jakemen20 Well, I think that’s fear many people have, not just with OCD but other disorders. People with depression also have the fear they’ll be that way forever. So much of our suffering comes from clinging, both to our negative and positive emotional states. When they’re negative, we become entangled in a battle to rid ourselves of the experience. When they’re positive, we become entangled in wanting it to persist forever. Yet, nothing persists forever. Our emotions are transient, both positive and negative. Recovery is hard work, and it can be amongst the most difficult challenges of your life. Everyone’s path is different, both in terms of the experience of treatment and in how they respond. Yet in some future day, there will be a moment where a thought appears in your mind and instead of struggling or fighting or avoiding, you’ll just notice is passes as quickly as it came. And yes, I’m glad I’ve had the experiences I’ve had, even the bad ones. Not that OCD is pleasant or good, but I’ve developed many skills of managing my emotions that I think are great even if you don’t have a mental health issue. It’s also led me here, to a place where I can use my suffering to lighten the burden for others.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Are you doing ERP with an OCD specialist or on your own? To me, it sounds like you have moved up your hierarchy too quickly, pushing yourself too far too fast, which is why you aren’t seeing the benefits yet. Habituation takes time. With each step, we have to stay at that level until our anxiety breaks and we no longer feel panic to those triggers. If you keep pushing forward before your anxiety ceases at the previous level, you’re just torturing yourself unnecessarily. ERP should be hard and uncomfortable but not lead to an anctual breakdown. That’s a huge sign you’ve taken on a trigger that’s too high on your hierarchy and not ready for. You went down from 250 to 20.. that’s a HUGE jump. It’s okay to back up a little.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w ago
I've been bedridden with anxiety and haven't eaten much. I tried going on a walk and broke down halfway through to cry. It kind if helped my physical anxiety but hasn't helped my ocd much. ERP is so difficult. It just makes me exhausted and anxious and cry. And I don't even feel a little better afterwards, so what's the point? I get I'm supposed to build up resilience but when? when do I finally feel some reward? I'm suffering, I don't have the energy to fight these thoughts when all the thoughts I have are rumination or intrusive. Medications haven't worked for me either. Maybe I'm not going to get better. Happy new year to me.
- Date posted
- 8w ago
some days I wake up with so much dread and guilt. It makes it so hard to keep going. I open my eyes and I’m hit with a wave of nausea and terror. I feel ashamed of my compulsions and my OCD. I feel like a monster for my checking compulsions. For momentarily sexualizing things that shouldn’t be sexualized out of anxiety. I’m ashamed of a lot that I give into because of anxiety. Confessing things that are meaningless to my boyfriend. I feel so awful and unworthy of existing and of love. I feel hopeless I don’t want to keep pushing, the more I push the more meta my OCD becomes and the more guilt I feel for this mental illness. The more confusing it becomes to do ERP. If compulsions are a choice, they feel like life or death and it’s driving me insane, I beat myself up so badly over them I’m scared of compulsions, I’m scared of thoughts, I’m scared to be awake, I’m even scared of sleeping because my intrusions and compulsions haunt me there too. I spend my dreams trying to explain or justify my OCD and compulsions to people. I’m exhausted, I want this to stop so badly. My severe OCD isn’t feeling any less severe and it’s been months. I don’t want to keep questioning my every move but I’m so hyperaware of everything I do. I’m so tired. Some days I don’t even have tears to cry with. I’m just so full of despair and shame
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- Date posted
- 8w ago
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
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