- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I don't want to spread misinformation or tell you something and it not be factual but I do know it is extremely common for people with ocd to believe they don't have ocd. Like for example, people with harm ocd believing that they don't actually have ocd and that they want to harm others even though they dont. I honestly hope you feel better and are able to get the proper treatment. It was not kind of your psychiatric nurse to tell you those things and I'm so sorry.
- Date posted
- 5y
Also I don't know if you're financially able too but Chrissie Hodges is an ocd peer support specialist who helps people find ocd specialists near them or through telehealth. Her YouTube channel is called Chrissie Hodges and on her About Tab she has information to reach her. I hope this helps. ❤
- Date posted
- 5y
I have heard this and it puts my mind at ease to know. I have a bad habit of seeking reassurance for this kind of thing, especially after having to fight so hard to get properly diagnosed. Thank you so much for your response
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
You are being very brave!
- Date posted
- 5y
❤️ thank you
- Date posted
- 5y
A couple months ago I thought the same thing. I thought I was going insane and nothing could bring me out. No one understood. My therapist did thankfully but she wasn’t my psychiatrist. My psychiatrist would sit with me for 5 minutes and he’s a nice guy but he would just hand me different pills when I told him I was afraid. I think you really have to know your patient and fully understand what they are going through and it’s so so tough. I’m sorry you went through this. I’m glad you are not in her care anymore and realized that it’s not best for you. There is a woman on yourune names Ali greymond and she talks about all topics of ocd and has so many informative videos. Check them out if you can. There is hope ?
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you I will look into them, I’m sorry you also went through that, and I hope you’re in a much better place now!
- Date posted
- 5y
@Courtney I’m better, but not recovered. I hope we both find the strength to make it through this ?? you deserve the best when it comes to this topic! If you ever need anyone to talk to I’m here. :)
- Date posted
- 5y
Just wanted to say that I'm so sorry you had to go through that mismanagement and gaslighting from a healthcare professional, whether or not they were trying to help. I've had mental health professionals let me down, too, dismissing diagnoses I have and being quite blamey and unhelpful and dismissing my experiences rather than exploring them with me, including a therapist who kept telling me I must be asexual because I didn't always want sex with my ex boyfriend (leading him to dismiss my attempts to insist and repeatedly sexually assault me). God knows why she thought it was appropriate to focus on that and try to explore my sexuality when I'd just told her about a serious trauma I still have flashbacks about. Oy vey. Sometimes people just get it wrong. It's hurtful and scary when those people are in positions of trust or power over us. But don't give up. It's possible to find a therapist and psychiatric professional who you trust, who listen to you and your opinions about your experiences, and work with and compromise with your preferences rather than forcing any treatments on you.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you for sharing, I’m sorry you had to go through that experience. I’ve definitely learned the importance of second opinions, and of making sure therapists are a good “fit” through this experience.
- Date posted
- 5y
I dealt with the same obsessions as my ocd bounces between sexually intrusive thoughts, orientation and eventually lead to horrible depersonalization which lead me to believe I was going psychotic . It got so bad I ended up in inpatient for over a week. I have bipolar run in my family so I can understand with the confusion of misdiagnoses and being put on antipsychotics. The biggest thing that helped me with it all...if you truly are going psychotic you wouldn’t be able to stop it...the depersonalization is due to anxiety...the anxiety is from The ocd...what is the true deep down root of your ocd?
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s disheartening to know you went through that, but encouraging to know I’m not alone. I was also hospitalized earlier this year. I am trying to practice acceptance of my thoughts and that the things I’m afraid of might be true, and that I can’t know for sure. But it’s so hard when it deals with such taboo subjects. I don’t know what the root is, this is all very new to me- fear of the unknown or loss of control and being a bad/dangerous person I guess
- Date posted
- 5y
@Courtney Trust me I know how hard this can be. Another thing that really helps me is basing all of my actions off my values...no matter what I’m feeling (which 90% of the time is scared because of my ocd ) I bring it with me and live my life based off my values...ask yourself what’s the worst thing that’s going to happen if you go psychotic? That’s what really helped me beat psychotic ocd thoughts.
- Date posted
- 5y
@kglic1 Thank you I will try this. I resume work Monday as a server in a restaurant and I’m so afraid of melting down in public, but I guess I’m more afraid of losing my job and letting OCD control my life. Seems like a good opportunity to get some practice in ?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Courtney I’m a personal trainer so I can relate on having to be in front of people. For me the root of it all has to do with self insecurities and caring so much about what people think of me. When it comes to the thoughts of going crazy in front of people..try to remember you can’t control what others think or feel about you. So just try to be yourself and bring these scared feelings with you, because you value work and you value that you need to make money to support yourself.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I’m new to treatment and only realized I have OCD a few months ago. I went through a tough and abusive marriage and ended up getting divorced. I had my first panic attack several years ago and ended up needing to go on Lexapro. This helped me significantly and allowed me to leave my partner. Several years later and I decided to stop Lexapro because I thought I was good to go. I’m in a very healthy relationship, have a great job, friends/family, go to the gym and have a wonderful life. It’s been about a year off the meds and I’ve had some panic, but I’ve been able to manage it. For some reason, the last three weeks has been really difficult for me. I have different spirals and different thought processes: what if I’m schizophrenic? What if I have a deeper mental disorder? What if I hurt someone? What if I need to leave my partner? What if I end up becoming so depressed that I end up hurting myself? My brain just goes from one what if to the next and once I conquer one, the next one pops up with even more intensity. I started taking NAC and inositol and I’m taking saffron during the day because I really don’t wanna go on back on medication but sometimes my thoughts scare me and I’m convinced that I’m not gonna get better and I know that’s just the OCD loop, but I’m wondering if this resonates with anyone else!
- Date posted
- 18w
Hello all, I don’t have insurance at the moment (lost eligibility due to me making more money, but not enough to afford medication and visits) and have been struggling a LOT. When I was going to therapy, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder. I never got to expand on other mental health concerns I had and it bothers me that I can’t receive the proper advice that I need. If this is not allowed, I completely understand (and you may delete) but I figured I’d give this app a shot to get some clarification and knowledge on the topic. I experience MANY intrusive thoughts that destabilize my relationships and daily mood. I always pitched it to be my B2D symptoms, but the more I read into OCD or rather, Relationship OCD, I feel connected to others’ experiences. My boyfriend has been cheated on in the past—to such a bad degree, that it can be hard for him to trust me. I have never been cheated on nor have I ever thought cheating was okay, but I experience nearly daily intrusive thoughts that I am a horrible partner. Even worse yet, the intrusive thoughts often include overanalyzing my body language and making myself believe that I am somehow presenting myself in a way that would make men “like” me and therefore convincing my boyfriend that I am or will cheat on him if given the chance. It gets so bad that when my boyfriend questions an interaction I have with a dude, I freeze and become so panicked that I feel as though I am “giving away” that I did something wrong—even though I didn’t do anything at all. I am fiercely loyal to people in my life and could never imagine hurting anyone, so the very thought that I could “potentially” do this gnaws away at my social comfortability and self-confidence. I always feel as though I’m a horrible person and I am constantly trying to “make up” for something I didn’t even do. I’ll cry myself to sleep ruminating on every detail of the moment I had these thoughts or when I spoke to my boyfriend about it. It just haunts my thoughts honestly and makes socializing impossible nearly all the time. Eye contact has been a huge problem for me lately even—as if eye contact seals the deal on me being an “unfaithful” partner. Or laughing! Because if I show any sort of interest in the conversation—no matter how respectful and short it is—I believe it’ll spiral into my boyfriend leaving me (which is completely ridiculous and not true!) It’s almost like imposter syndrome in a way—because I feel as though no amount of reassurance or truth that I am a kind, loyal girlfriend, I will eventually ruin it anyway so I don’t deserve respect or affirmations. And it’s not even just with my boyfriend. Friends I have lost in the past clutter my mind as well. I have constant guilt and regret over potentially being a horrible friend despite how hard I fought/fight to keep that person in my life. Honestly, it gets to a point now where I’m convinced I will mess up any form of relationship I have eventually so I suppress my feelings or thoughts that could potentially upset people or make them question if I am really valuable in their life (often I can feel detached from people while being physically present with them because I get so lost in my head about what-ifs or where to look or if I’m causing someone to feel uncomfortable or that what they are or I’m saying isn’t satisfying the “ideal” friendship) . I let people walk all over me, deal with uncomfortable settings to avoid conflict and struggle to assert myself or have any sense of who I truly am with other people. It has put such a strain on me and my relationships, especially my best friend and my boyfriend and I’s relationships—which hold highest priority in my life at the moment. It can be hard to “let go” of people because it’s just another person who I have failed—including my own family members whom have definitely given reason for me to be not close with them. I also struggle with perfectionism and order during “stressful” situations, to the point where I will put myself into an anxiety episode over the simplest changes, unexpected accidents or things not going to plan. Again, this could very well be a symptom of Bipolar, but it truly causes me to blow situations WAY out of proportion and convince myself that I will never resolve it or make things better unless I can set it exactly how it was supposed to be in my head. The executive dysfunction is real on that one…To some, it could be procrastination. Or even just my cycles rapidly changing. But it affects my outlook on most things—financial matters, relationships, responsibilities, hygiene, cleaning. I can go from having complete confidence in doing something, to being doubtful that I could even get myself to get out of bed because I know I won’t do what I need/want to do. Sometimes I’ll even elaborately plan a course of action the day before and then when the time comes to do it, I lose control of my will to do it due to my intrusive thoughts. I do NOT expect anyone to “diagnose” me and I’m not sway the audience into agreeing with me in any way. I truly only want to hear your experiences, and if you also struggle to differentiate if you’ve been properly diagnosed or have overlapping symptoms that you can relate in some way. I want to better understand OCD and possibly connect with people who have had the same experiences. I appreciate any feedback—as long as it’s beneficial to this discussion and helping anyone else who struggle with the same thoughts—or even struggling to identify yourself or afford treatment! I just am curious, and honestly needed to have a platform to express some deep stuff I haven’t really discussed with anyone else besides my boyfriend. Thank yall for reading/listening regardless!
- Date posted
- 16w
I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…
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