Hi :) I have always struggled with intrusive sexual thoughts since i was a kid. (probably due to sexual abuse) And in my teen years I spent a considerable amount of time fighting unwanted romantic feelings toward my girl friends. This year though, I think I’m coming to terms with the fact that I might be gay. I just never feel this way toward men. And it feels like all of my efforts to keep those unwanted gay thoughts away growing up didn’t work. I feel like it’s my fault somehow. I’m not sure if this makes sense, but I guess i’m trying to work on accepting these thoughts of mine.

Not questioning my sexuality anymore but still getting really gross intrusive thoughts , anyone else have this experience ? I really want them to go away and I’m not sure how to make them stop

Does anyone else feel like when they say their identity out loud it is a lie? Like I am a straight woman and have been straight my whole life and have been in two relationships—both with men who I was happily in love with. I can draw my intrusive thoughts back to childhood, but it was always a very brief experience where I would be like “oh I finally have nothing to worry about” and then my brain would be like “wait nevermind you have to worry about the fact that you are gay and in denial.” But every time, these thoughts would go away and I would never have them when I was actually in my relationships or talking to someone. These fears are now back and more real than ever, making me feel like I am actually physically attracted to women and losing my natural biological attitude to men. I do not want to be gay at all and the thought of being that has been making me physically I’ll because it is just now who I am and want to be. I think what makes this all worse is that it’s been awhile since I’ve been in a relationship, so having these thoughts and feelings feels like reality because I have no recent experience with being in a relationship with a man and because of that, my self esteem is extremely low. I now feel triggered by every little thing in life, from hearing the word “gay”/“lesbian”/“lgbt”/“coming out”, to seeing any women of literally any age or appearance out in public, thinking I must be attracted to them. I keep checking my attraction to both males and females and am fearful because I feel like I am losing my attraction to men, which is something that never happened when these thoughts appeared in my life before this most recent flare up. I don’t know if any other people who identify as straight have similar experiences to this, but I cannot help but feel like I am the exception because I did have these thoughts before now (even though they went away for years). I would appreciate any help/insight because the longer I struggle with these thoughts, the farther and farther I feel my old, true self drifting away. I was always able to hang onto the fact that I want a future with a man and want a husband and kids, but now it’s like even that is gone and even though I never want to be with a woman, it’s like these thoughts have convinced me that I will never be with a man. Please help.

I feel like anytime I become really close to someone I can’t differentiate platonic or romantic feelings. My thoughts run wild thinking things along the lines of “you like them” “they secretly like you” “you could do —, —, or — with them.” I believe I’m Bisexual so I have these thoughts for both male & female, but sometimes I even worry about whether or not I’m really bisexual or if I’m just straight with extreme intrusive thoughts. I’ve had these thoughts about best friends, coworkers, & even relatives & it’s extremely disturbing. It makes me feel shameful for having these thoughts, especially with relatives or when in a relationship. I constantly have to tell myself that they’re just thoughts & I wouldn’t actually want anything to happen. I really don’t want to ruin my relationships with these people, but these thoughts wont go anyway no matter how many times I try to think the opposite in response to change my mindset. I’ve talked to my boyfriend about it & I’m very grateful that he’s so understanding, but it still troubles me. I’m really glad there’s another alternative of talking about these things