mb123
- Date posted
- 5y
FathomableFathomable
- Date posted
- 5y
Ok so obviously the answer to what you're going through doesn't lie in dressing up and trying to convince yourself that you like men. Let's just pretend that travesty of a comment never happened ? I'm wondering whether those unwanted romantic feelings in your teen years had the same quality to them as the other intrusive sexual thoughts? I'm not sure whether this is/has been an OCD theme for you or if there has just been some resistance to natural feelings. It's also possible to be gay and develop an OCD about being gay because you have reasons in your life for not wanting it (fears of judgement, of being an outcast, of discrimination etc). It's ALSO possible for it to be a bit of both. You describe 'unwanted gay thoughts' which you tried to keep away, and that could be OCD, could be what I've described. Why were you trying to keep them away? Were they very upsetting? I'm curious really... Whether the unwanted romantic feelings seemed to come out of anxiety and analysis (fear that you have romantic feelings, obsessing about the possibility and intense anxiety about the prospect of it being true romantic feelings, checking your responses to your friends to spot anything sexual, etc). As opposed to being crushes which you felt ashamed of or that they were an inconvenience. At the end of the day, though, regardless of your sexuality and what it might be, if you have OCD symptoms (do you feel that you do?) then it's worth addressing and treating those. After that, perhaps you could try something like ACT? Deciding that you'll accept yourself and act on your desires and values going forwards whatever they might be, without needing labels, that you'll do whatever fulfills you and makes you happy rather than what you feel you ought to do.
ocdillustratedocdillustrated
- Date posted
- 5y
∆∆∆∆i agree with everything scoggy said. I'd try to be "relaxed curious" about the experiences instead of "urgent need to know right now"
mb123mb123
- Date posted
- 5y
definitely in the past (and still) they are unwanted thoughts that i feel really bad about. my family is extremely religious and anti-lgbtq. i’m religious as well and these sexual thoughts conflict with my faith. i am afraid that i really am gay and that my family will disown me and shame me all because of my thoughts (even if i don’t act on them). currently, the most pressing thing is that i am conditioned to think theyre “bad” and so i feel really secretive and sneaky and dirty for even thinking them. and it causes me a lot of distress and none of my usual compulsions seem to help them go away.
ocdillustratedocdillustrated
- Date posted
- 5y
@mb123 The stigmatization and homophobia clearly give OCD some extra grist for the worry mill. It may be a reasonable precaution to not disclose the thoughts to your family- not because the thoughts are meaningful, but because it is likely your family will misunderstand and think they are meaningful
Winter34Winter34
- Date posted
- 5y
Im really scared this is going to happen to me not that theres anything wrong with being gay
mtaskmtask
- Date posted
- 5y
Keeping in mind the future of your happiness may depend on it, you might want to devise a test. I recommend going to a pubic place with high foot traffic and people-watching to try and identify a type you may like. Sort of initiating yourself into liking men. Do it with a pro-lgbt woman or gay man in your life if you want support. Before you go, you're going to want to groom yourself and practice self-care. Non-greasy food eaten, water drank, facial hair trimmed, maybe a haircut or eyebrow trim. Just putting positive energy into yourself gives you confidence to be yourself, plus looking yourself in the face os nice when you have a lot on your mind
FathomableFathomable
- Date posted
- 5y
Mb123 please ignore everything about the comment I'm replying on.
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anonymous2580
- Date posted
- 17w
Remembering things from my childhood
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Lost in the ...
- Date posted
- 15w
Lost
I cant afford therapy which is why i’m not diagnosed with ocd. The first time i had heard what ocd was truly abt was 6 years ago when i overthinking my sexual identity and it fit. Additionally, i struggle with debilitating health anxiety and when i was in a rlt i was extremely anxious that i might not love my partner. This is the third year i experience distress around my sexuality but this year it feels real. And it could also explain my rlt anxiety. Comphet is a concept that really scares me. I dont want to be with a girl. I would rather die than discover i was lesbian. I cant accept uncertainty cz i dont want to be homosexual. Chat GPT told me it wasnt ocd + the thoughts dont distress me anymore. I experience 3 intense weeks of anxiety prior to now. Maybe its internalized homophobia. Maybe its comphet. I do find women to be attractive but i dont wanna be with them. Maybe i’m in denial. Idk anything anymore. I’m remembering times where i would find an actress attractive and try to shift my focus towards the man cz it would make me anxious. I’m not well at all.
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