- Username
- Pink Dinosaur
- Date posted
- 6y ago
You’re NOT a burden. It gets difficult but you got this
You have skills and talents that people without the disorder don’t have!
Totally normal to feel guilt about this. Totally normal to feel shame and it’s very common that people feel they are a burden to the ones around them. Yes it’s likely depression, but OCD and depression is not a death sentence. Accepting that a part of your brain is broken is the first step. Stop trying to run away from who you are and start acting like the person you are which is likely a good one. We’re all on this site for a reason and it’s because we share common disfunction that not all have . Open up to your family, your friends! I know that sounds hard but the more you come out of the closet and open up to who you are then the more empowered you’ll feel . If you have people in your life that steer away or get afraid of your mental health then they are Hardly worth entertaining further relationships with and yes this includes family. I’ll bet the moment you take the loved ones in your life aside and open up you’ll see that it’s really not all that bad. I’ve opened up and pretty much told every family member I have OCD and a lot of my friends. The thing if it is when I really look around at almost everyone I know I see dis function all over the fucking place. Weather it’s alcohol problem , drugs , and honestly my whole family and all the people I seem to know have shit that they all hide and will not open up to in fear of judgement! It’s no ones fault that they have this and if you turn your inner focus outward and start focusing on the good things in your life then the anxiety, and stress of everything right now that you are internally holding onto will eventually start to fade. Medication that your taking I can only say that you can take a pill and a pill might work. It might ease the pain it might lighten the anxiety but while your on that pill if you don’t commit 100% to recovery from OCD and learn ERP CBT and how to exercise, read write and put forward your best self every single day then essentially when you decide to get off the pill then all your symptoms will return and stronger than ever. This is why we hear about people who are on and off pills and meds for years , because they take them till they feel better then get off them but while in them very few will ever do what it truly takes to get them selves better. Having ocd and anxiety believe it or not is also very much learning to live with pain. To live with not feeling well. To accept the bad days and the days of pure hell and all the fear that follows. Your 17 do something about it fast don’t wait till your 36 like me who tried to hide who I was and what I was feeling for the last 18 years. Good luck
Thank you everyone for the input. I really appreciate it. @curtis I’ve been suspecting that I’m depressed for a while but I’m too afraid to open up about it to my psychiatrist and get screened. I feel as if once I get a diagnosis, it’s actually over, like for real. I don’t want to make my parents feel worse. I was diagnosed when I was freaking 12 but I feel as if the diagnosis only really sunk in now. Dunno. I’ll take your advice to heart though. I just want some semblance of normality.
So i too have been depressed likely a good part of the last number of years too. Actually probably a lot longer . I have 2 kids 3 and 5. A wife of 8 years now and I’ve suffered from my mental illness for nearly two decades. Men very rarely open up because we’re supposed to be strong! There is so much shame associated with the stigma behind anxiety, ocd and depression. We never want to admit that we’re broken in some way. It’s a hard fucking pill to swallow and no matter how hard we try put it in the back burner it will surface stronger and stronger. This is where I say to admit. If you try hide how you feel especially to your psychiatrist then you’ll have no chance gaining ground with this. Do you feel that your parents are burdened with you because your depressed? Is this actually a fact or is this just how you feel. There’s a difference, because we’re all very quick to believe shit that isn’t even real especially if you have OCD !! If you can admit , accept and strategize on how your life can move forward in a way that suits your needs then your in your way. Remember it’s OK not to feel OK !! Let me know what type of OCD your struggling with , let me know some of your worst suck thoughts and I’ll top them I guarantee!! I’m not saying this to brag what I’m getting at is that at 36 I live a pretty normal life. There is not a day that goes by that I’m not hating my brain 75% of a 24 hour day but I still get by. I can refer you to some great information if I know what your biggest issues are. Trust yourself and try trust the people in your life. Gay people only truly feel relieved when they come out of the closet and I’m not gay but I can say that when I started I opening up about who I am and what my thoughts are to the closest people in my life all though it was so hard and still is it’s immediately worth it because of the sense of freedom you can get. Remember you cannot heal your mind until you accept your brain! And accept and embrace your daily emotions .
OCD makes me feel so alone. These last few months I feel like I’ve been unable to be honest or open fully with anyone. I’m so ashamed of what’s inside me and I’m scared. I feel like everything is my fault and I’m lonely despite having wonderful people and things in my life. I am alone and feel so fake and disingenuous.
I'm the middle child of 3 siblings. My older sibling is getting married this year, and my younger sibling is working to get into nursing school. And then there's me. The one with the Problems. I feel like my parents deserve a better middle daughter than me. I feel like such a disappointment that they have to put up with me and my constant crying. I hate feeling like I kill the good mood/transfer my bad feelings to them. No matter how many times they comfort me, no matter how much they support me and accept me, I still feel like an annoyance and a burden on them. I feel like a f^cking baby because of my mental health problems. I'm normally unstoppable, and have my own unique strengths and abilities, but THIS is what stops me. Anyone else feel like you're just a dumb, dependent child because of your OCD?
Having OCD gives me so much shame because how of my compulsions affect those closest to me. I constantly update my parents and my boyfriend on my health while throwing in my worries and telling them how afraid I am. They are exhausted. I worry that one day if I really do have a medical emergency I won’t be taken seriously because of my history of health anxiety over problems that are not really emergencies. This causes more OCD with whatever symptom I’m experiencing in the moment like- “this is it. What if this is the one time I really need help and they won’t believe me?” And then I freak out about people not believing me or taking me seriously. I feel like such a burden and I feel like I ruined my reputation with my parents and my boyfriend. There’s no going back from how they see me when my OCD is at its worst. It’s so frustrating that I’ve done this to myself. I feel so ashamed and broken.
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