- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Oh my I'm so glad you guys replied!! It HELPS that surely I'm not the only one!!! I always feel like I've done something wrong - like I've said negative words, that I've said it in the wrong tone, that I'm not being loving enough to my family or husband. Just like you said Scoggy, I will look for what I did and probably invent things. I never feel good enough. This has stemmed from my childhood with my intense people pleasing. It might have came from my mother who I felt I never was enough and she would tell me my feelings are pathetic and wrong. It's exhausting.. ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Even tho my mum always tells me that it's wrong and she loves me, I still have these feelings, and I don't know why or what mental process can get me over them. And I feel like saying this a lot her may have started to hurt her. Anyway, be good honey ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yeah. I always feel I must've done something wrong and if my brain can't think of something I did it'll invent something. And I've always had this about an ex, from feeling responsible for keeping him out of trouble (drug addict) and then for years feeling responsible for his wellbeing and that I'd betrayed him by leaving/giving up on him/talking about how badly he treated me etc. Always checking that he is ok ? It also made me into a controlling person who I didn't like when I was trying to get him into therapy because I knew it's what he needed and could prevent future partners going through the same thing as me. Responsibility OCD respects no boundaries, man. Ugh.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yes me
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thank you. What are some things that will daily go on for you? I could share mine
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@ButterflyStar Thinking about past events where I feel I acted immorally and obsessing over them. It ties in with an subtype of OCD I’m experiencing.. I’ll experience the OCD thoughts, urges or compulsions and then feel immoral having had the thoughts, urges or compulsions which leads to guilt.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@billnye Do either of you experience guilt whenever you're around other people that you've ever said or thought negative things about, those memories come up in your mind and you feel so guilty and want to confess them?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Scoggy Yes! All the time. I feel like if I confess then I’ll be a good person but then I feel like a good person wouldn’t have done that to begin with. Judging myself harshly for past mistakes and refusing to allow myself forgiveness. Confessing feels like it’ll heal but it feels like a cop out as well because I don’t feel like I’m doing it for any reason besides trying to curb the feeling of being found to be terrible.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 11w ago
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
- Date posted
- 9w ago
I don't really know if it's OCD, but lately I've been thinking a lot and in a very obsessive way that every single one of my actions, words or even thoughts will affect on how God will make decisions about my life. For example, if I lie to someone or yell at them out of anger, God will make happen something bad to me as a "punishment". I know it might seem silly, but it really really freaks me out sometimes... Does anyone feel the same? And if so, do you do something in particular to feel better? Thanks for your understanding❤️
- Date posted
- 8w ago
Very brief mentions of pocd and nsfw jokes,id like this to be adults only . Repost bc i had to edit something Does anyone have experience with real event ocd attached to your online footprint etc? I keep checking old messages,trying to find old people i knew i used to talk to etc. To find out every problematic thing I did and if I've ever been unfollowed or blocked by anyone I used to be friends w online/atleast on good terms w. I am particularly concerned abt doing something bigoted,esp racist bc i have racism ocd,and doing something predatory bc of my pocd. I remember hanging around people who could use 'edgy' or offensive humour in my teens and i remember a lot of sex jokes and that i would join in on sex jokes sometimes . i dont remember details w the offensive humour as much,i feel like i didnt join in on it as much but i was definitely WAY passive abt things and prob let a lot of bad stuff slide i shouldnt have bc i didn't speak up it was wrong,I remember one friend in an online community would say slurs and horrible jokes when i was 16. I dont remember my response to it as much but i feel i didnt speak up abt it aside one time i found in the dms where he made a bad joke on a thing i shared for social justice. I cant stop going thru old messages and stuff or trying to find ppl from the past. I feel like if I don't check it now,that eventually it'll come to haunt me or that I'll stumble across it eventually. I worry what if someone messaged me on one of these apps I un-installed or on one of the accounts I don't have access to,confronting me abt all this stuff I did. I had an obsession w this back in 2020 and did check in depth on all my accounts,but now that it's been 4 years the obsession is back in full swing.
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