My new boss has a toddler that he brings into work sometimes, and I know for the past week (it’s a very new job) I haven’t wanted to have sex because I know my brain will want to start something funny. My brain has already been flashing the toddler’s face when I’m randomly eating lunch or working, so I know it’ll do the same when I’m having sex with my husband. Then (not completely sure why) the toddler’s mom changed him when we were all eating lunch together a day ago, so now I have that image in my head— plus the smell of a poopy diaper. Any advice? Do I just push through with sex even though this is happening?

Nica

Date posted: 5y

I’ll definitely have POCD for the rest of my life because it’s from my sexual abuse as a child. So I just need to push through sex no matter what pops up in my head— but then I have to deal with the “what if you’re turned on by what I just showed you?” An endless cycle of stupidity ?

Maria Savio

Date posted: 5y

In my personal opinion, you should go ahead with sex. Avoiding it does nothing to make the images go away. I have personally just powered thru things like this because avoiding will not make it disappear. Totally sucky I know. But your brain will get tired of it and move on.

ocdillustrated

Date posted: 5y

I agree. Avoiding something just in case the image pops up gives that image power. It tells your brain that the image is dangerous or wrong. That will make the image become more and more distressing over time

Nica

Date posted: 5y

Thank you for the help!

Maria Savio

Date posted: 5y

No problem...I also go thru this and it's the worse type of hell. But you deep down know your core values and this is just something that this disorder fixates on of course until it gets bored and moves onto something else. That's important to keep in mind and not letting it win or have control over you cause if we let it it can. Just carry on with your day as if these thoughts aren't on your head and eventually they will leave. I wish there was some way to not go thru all this but there isnt so we must take charge the best way we can. You will be fine and do not let this crap damage your real life marriage

Maria Savio

Date posted: 5y

Yes it will not be easy...with time you will recognize these thoughts as OCD messing with you and won't assign meaning to them...cause they mean nothing. And with our disorder we do think they define us. But it doesnt. I wish our own brains wouldn't work against us. However hard this may be, we can get better

Nica

Date posted: 5y

I’ve definitely gotten better at recognizing what is and isn’t OCD thoughts and most of them don’t bother me, but there’s just certain thoughts and images that I know still get to me and I know I have to get over it, but arggghhh! It’s hard lol

Maria Savio

Date posted: 5y

Absolutely. It sucks but we will be okay

ocdillustrated

Date posted: 5y

Do the flashes of his face bother you at other times of the day, or you are fine usually but predicting they will bother you during sex?

Nica

Date posted: 5y

They don’t usually bother me but I know that if I start worrying over them during the day, they definitely could.

Nica

Date posted: 5y

I know what my brain is doing, so that’s why I’m aware of what’s going on. I still am often hesitant to have sex though, which I know isn’t a good thing. I do eventually have sex, just not when I want to, kinda thing.

Maria Savio

Date posted: 5y

As uncomfortable as it is, do it anyway. Yes it will give u anxiety and yes u still may have intrusive thoughts but you must show your OCD that YOU are boss. I know its it's easier said than done but your marriage will suffer because of this made up crap that doesnt exist...cause that what the thoughts OCD gives us are. Made up crap that distress us. Start thinking of it that way and it can and will get better

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