Ella___
- Date posted
- 5y
figuringitalloutfiguringital...
- Date posted
- 5y
I am, struggling a lot tonight ❤️
Ella___Ella___
- Date posted
- 5y
I know exactly how you feel I had been having an entire month where my pocd wasnt bugging me but it decided to come back twice as hard during the weekend and usually I’m able to bounce out of it but recently it’s been hard
Fin1234!Fin1234!
- Date posted
- 5y
I was just properly diagnosed with POCD and I’m very scared and feeling very alone. I tried to talk to my parent’s about it tonight but couldn’t tell them the theme. They didn’t really understand the torture it is causing me. I’m really struggling with believing I can ever have a normal relationship this has been so hard and effected every aspect of my life.
Ella___Ella___
- Date posted
- 5y
Honestly just know you’re not alone and sadly parents won’t understand mine never understood and although it did hurt knowing they didn’t understand I don’t blame them because sadly people without ocd never understand. Just know you’re not alone and if you’d like yo talk about what your pocd bugs you with I’m always here
Fin1234!Fin1234!
- Date posted
- 5y
For sure im seeing that now. how long have you suffered from this? I have a hard time because this is my only theme and I’m still struggling to believe it’s actually OCD because I know a lot of people have many themes and it starts when their children where mine started in my early 20s.
Ella___Ella___
- Date posted
- 5y
Ocd starts either when youre young or in your 20s and I’ve had ocd since I was 7 but it went away and came back extremely hard in my 20s
Ella___Ella___
- Date posted
- 5y
Whats your ocd theme if you dont mind me asking
Fin1234!Fin1234!
- Date posted
- 5y
I just started with an OCC specialist afew weeks ago
Fin1234!Fin1234!
- Date posted
- 5y
OCD*
Fin1234!Fin1234!
- Date posted
- 5y
POCD and I don’t remember it when I was a child but I do remember obsessing over death and doing afew things that I would say now we’re compulsions. I was diagnosed with depression and aniexty at 16 aswell.
Ella___Ella___
- Date posted
- 5y
Ive had POCD for about a year and I know it’s scary have you gotten any intrusive thoughts those are the worst
Fin1234!Fin1234!
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s just very scary
Fin1234!Fin1234!
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes now that im working with an OCD specialist and stuck at home it’s all day long it’s just sits with you telling you to figure out what’s going on and do mental checks or tells me I’m a bad person for my thoughts and I need to be locked away.
Ella___Ella___
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah just make sure you dont over analyze these intrusives theyll turn into false memories its the worst literally makes you believe you’ve done something bad when you haven’t
Strawberree Strawberree
- Date posted
- 5y
*trigger warning*I have a question..And I'm sorry if this sounds like reassurance seeking but its bothering me too much..I had an awful intrusive thought not too long ago.. it was like an uncomfortable scenario in my head that was triggered all of the sudden. And then a voice in my head said "would you even be able to resist?" (Acting out my fear it means) I felt horrible. It felt like I was letting my guard down and my "true feelings" were coming out.. thinking about it now makes me feel sick. Can ocd really do this to me?? Make me feel like I want to act out these fears even though I really want to think that I dont? That feeling lasted for a split second then I fell into panic.
Ella___Ella___
- Date posted
- 5y
Honestly ocd will make you feel that way because remember ocd feeds on fear ive had moments like those but it’s important to understand its an intrusive not real the fact that you feel disgusted by it goes to show its not real
Strawberree Strawberree
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ella_O Sometimes I fear that I'm not disgusted enough, or that the disgust is just a front to hide my desires.. but that is also ocd isnt it? It seems like it never ends..
Strawberree Strawberree
- Date posted
- 5y
But I cant tell you how many years I spend combating this, looking for proof that I'm not a bad person. Looking back into my childhood remembering that I was always interested in men. how much time I spent in bed praying to god and crying repeating "I wanna be good" over and over.. well I can tell you. I'd say 7 or 8 years I've spent on and off struggling. I'm tired of this and wanna live my life..
figuringitalloutfiguringital...
- Date posted
- 5y
Are you referring to POCD? If so, I have a very similar story. I also was into men at that age and struggled. Now I have pocd and it’s brutal.
Strawberree Strawberree
- Date posted
- 5y
@figuringitallout Yes.. it really is brutal isnt it..sometimes I wake up and say "really?! Of all things in the world you're worried about THAT?! That's dumb!" and some days I wake up and am constantly worried about it. And there were also times when I went months without intrusive thoughts. I was definately a more content person during those times. Even up till recently I was ok. Then boom, here it is again. I hate it so much
figuringitalloutfiguringital...
- Date posted
- 5y
Yesss! I was doing great but then I relapsed in this coronavirus sfuff. do you ever feel like being gay makes you pocd worse?
Strawberree Strawberree
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm a straight female, so i guess no matter what it's always hard
Ella___Ella___
- Date posted
- 5y
@em1997 I personally have a false memory that bugs me to my core to the point where sometimes I just don’t wana live anymore
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