My boyfriend doesn’t know about my ocd, I’m not even diagnosed yet so that’s why I haven’t really told anyone what goes on in my head except my mom. I feel like I’m living a different life towards him, even though I’m just being me without my stupid thoughts. I feel like I’m lying and putting up an act. It makes me feel guilty, secretive and untrustworthy. Anyone else here that hasn’t told their s/o?

emkala

Date posted: 5y

My boyfriend is extremely sensitive and insecure which is why I did not tell him about my (r)OCD when we first started dating. Now I am quite thankful I kept it as a secret for over two years because otherwise I would have probably used him to get some reassurance. Because he is so fragile mentally, I did not want to ask him questions about our relationship etc. Eventually, I had to tell him because my OCD (different theme) got out of hand at some point and it had started to really have an effect on our relationship in that sense that I had to give a proper reason for my strange behaviour. I also felt quite guilty and untrustworthy but on the other hand I think that it was my own private problem. OCD is so difficult to explain to someone who has not experienced it. My boyfriend knew that I was both depressed and anxious though and of course tried to support me. At the time I thought it was enough.

Kea

Date posted: 5y

Yeah that’s why I’m also afraid to tell my boyfriend... he’s not so much insecure but he does analyze things as well and if I were to tell him I know he would get hurt, and that’s the last thing I want. I told him I have anxiety and that I feel depressed from time to time, so when saying I have anxiety I kind of included my ocd along with that, I’m not sure if I should tell him anything more yet.. I’m gonna speak with a psychologist that’s gonna give me a mental health evaluation soon and I he knows that, he’s very supportive as well, so I just think until then I shouldn’t tell him.. I’m not sure?

emkala

Date posted: 5y

@Kea Remember, there is no urgency (in my opinion) to "confess" your partner that you have OCD. If you feel a sense of urgency, it can be something that is caused by feeling anxious. I am sure you can figure this out! ?

Kea

Date posted: 5y

@emkala Yeah, I’ve realized when I do feel more anxious and my rocd kicks in I feel like a horrible girlfriend for not confessing to him what goes on in my head? I’ll tell him when I’m ready & get evaluated, thank you so much!☺️

ocdsvcks

Date posted: 5y

i haven’t told him the content of my thoughts but i have told him that i deal wit ocd and he’s very understanding about it. u should bring it up to him if ur comfortable with it, but ur not obligated to tell him anything! and if u do end up telling him the content of ur thoughts make sure u let him know that’s it’s ocd and not ur true desires. that’s very important, because he’s gonna end up taking it personally which is not his fault bc ocd is hard to understand

emkala

Date posted: 5y

I wanted to add that just like @ocdsvcks, I have not told my boyfriend the content of my thoughts. I have given him some general examples what can happen when someone is experiencing OCD but after that I got a feeling that he might end up taking some of my thoughts really personally. Mainly because he loves to analyze.

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