#sexualorientationocd I'm a bisexual girl and have SO OCD (and rOCD). I'm with a male partner and have been feeling like I've made a lot of progress in working through the SO OCD.Until... A bisexual female youtuber I used to watch just posted a "second coming out" video where she says she is gay and her and her male fiance of 10 years are broken up. This just triggered me so hard and I spiraled to the point where I believe/am afraid that labeling my fears as OCD is a form of denial about my sexuality. I used to recognize that that fear is a part of OCD, but after this video I just feel so shaken. Any words of advice?

Because everyone's journey with their sexuality isn't so cut and dry, black or white. Because of the way society treats bisexuality it's very easy to feel as if you're wrong or must eventually "pick a side". Even though I dont feel that way, people say it enough times and it starts sticking like an intrusive thought. Its a thing that commonly brings a lot of internal suffering and confusion to many bi people. So when you see someone you look up to who is bi like you a d describes many things about their feelings that overlap with your own experiences, then they now ID as gay, forgive me if I say it's a bit triggering.

it's OCD. she's comparing that event with the possibility of the same happening to her. "what if i realize i'm gay and i don't want to stay with my bf?" and similar, or at least this is what i understood. my only advice is to try to sit with the anxiety, you absolutely cannot tell if this will happen to you, and even if it happens you will not be sure it is the right thing. point is, it could happen, it could not, and it's difficult as hell trying not to engage in compulsions but it's the only way to overcome this. there will be times when you say "oh yeah it could happen, fuck it who cares" and days when you are paralized with the same thought. just my 2c. source: have rOCD

@momentolucchese Yes, that's essentially what I was getting at. I have rOCD too and a big one of my obsessions is absorbing others' stories and almost inheriting them as my own out of fear. Just trying to learn better ways of resisting that urge to compare.

@hanny123 Ok and?... society doesn’t determine who you are. And you also answered your own concerns about this so called trigger in how you view yourself.

@bufferthanyou I'm sorry, but does my post upset you? If so I'm not quite sure why. Maybe I can clarify - I am aware of why it was triggering to me. I posted seeking advice regarding some useful and healthy ways to confront my tendency to compare myself with others.

@hanny123 have the same obsession. i usually just lay in bed, accepting and repeating the thought like it is true ("yeah we really aren't that compatible" etc), maybe with some relaxing music but nothing that can distract me, the goal is not to avoid the thought. also, i'm not a professional nor in therapy, so pick carefully what i say.

@bufferthanyou do you expect OCD to make sense? logic doesn't work with OCD. what is easy for you seems impossible to other people.

@momentolucchese I hear you. Yeah it sounds kind like a form of exposure. I try to do that sometimes but dont want to push the line of it becoming overwhelming. I'll try that sometime. Thanks!

@hanny123 No it doesn’t upset me. I was just trying to help you by just making you answer your own question and not asking for reassurance. When something triggers you and you get on here to ask for ways to deal with things it’s a compulsion. I was just trying to help. My way of dealing with this is different from yours.

@bufferthanyou Hmm, okay. I was asking for productive advice, not reassurance. But to each their own!

@momentolucchese For me it is right now sorry. I’m in a recovery phase which is why all these things makes sense for me.

@hanny123 best of luck!

@momentolucchese Thank you! You too :)