- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
My therapist told me that liking lesbian porn and sexual experimentation doesnt mean you're gay. It is normal to do at that age. Trust me I'm struggling with the same thing and I'm so sick of it feeling like I like it. I cant ignore it and it is a constant battle with my brain.
- Date posted
- 5y
Your brain will always be able to come up with “evidence” that you aren’t who you think you are. This is mostly due to the fact that people are messy contradictions sometimes and OCD hates that. But here’s the thing: you can’t logic yourself into a different identity. No matter how much “sense” it can start to make after thinking about it so long, it still won’t be true. People don’t figure out their sexual orientation through a series of tests. They just are it. And there’s no undoing it.
- Date posted
- 5y
when i was young me and my friend showed eachother our vaginas under the table in school. we still joke about t today cus it generally is funny. i’m not trying to reassure you but the porn that you watch doesn’t define you’re sexual orientation. you know the amount of guys who watch gay porn (they’d never admit it) and the amount of girls who watch lesbian porn? it’s really normal. for example if you were to watch a gang bang, does that really mean that you want to do the same? it may but 9/10 you wouldn’t want that.
- Date posted
- 5y
@SteelersFan1998 Because sexuality is a spectrum.
- Date posted
- 5y
ok that’s you. you’ve never wanted to. but there is a good amount of straight guys who have. and you saying “claim to be straighter than i am” just completely invalidate their sexual orientation. like i said before, the porn you watch doesn’t dictate your sexual orientation. so you can be the straightest person and watch gay porn, or you can be the gayest person and only watch striaght porn. or you can,like me, be straight and watch what ever porn you want cus who cares.
- Date posted
- 5y
@SteelersFan1998 well, it’s always good to be mindful. remember this next time, cus it really doesn’t matter what you watch, we as humans are sexual beings and will get turned on by most things that are sexual, doesn’t mean we want to do it. i read this thing and it was about people who have to make court cases and they have to see videos of people getting raped and they experience some arousal but they feel in complete distress mentally
- Date posted
- 5y
Hello, this is literally my exact situation! I also experimented with my friends at a young age and we did quite inappropriate things but didn’t really understand what we were doing just knew it felt good. My brain bullies me for this and makes me feel extremely guilty and repulsed by the experience. You’re not alone and my HOCD loves to make me feel so so bad about and has manipulated it into something it wasn’t!
- Date posted
- 5y
Oh my goodness I can’t explain how much I relate to this, I think I might cry. I feel the exact same way! I have a boyfriend who loves me sooo much and I’ve only ever had crushes on boys but then all of a sudden my brain will be like “you’re absolutely gay and here’s why”
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- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 22w
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 19w
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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- "Pure" OCD
- OCD newbies
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- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 17w
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
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