- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
My therapist told me that liking lesbian porn and sexual experimentation doesnt mean you're gay. It is normal to do at that age. Trust me I'm struggling with the same thing and I'm so sick of it feeling like I like it. I cant ignore it and it is a constant battle with my brain.
- Date posted
- 5y
Your brain will always be able to come up with “evidence” that you aren’t who you think you are. This is mostly due to the fact that people are messy contradictions sometimes and OCD hates that. But here’s the thing: you can’t logic yourself into a different identity. No matter how much “sense” it can start to make after thinking about it so long, it still won’t be true. People don’t figure out their sexual orientation through a series of tests. They just are it. And there’s no undoing it.
- Date posted
- 5y
when i was young me and my friend showed eachother our vaginas under the table in school. we still joke about t today cus it generally is funny. i’m not trying to reassure you but the porn that you watch doesn’t define you’re sexual orientation. you know the amount of guys who watch gay porn (they’d never admit it) and the amount of girls who watch lesbian porn? it’s really normal. for example if you were to watch a gang bang, does that really mean that you want to do the same? it may but 9/10 you wouldn’t want that.
- Date posted
- 5y
@SteelersFan1998 Because sexuality is a spectrum.
- Date posted
- 5y
ok that’s you. you’ve never wanted to. but there is a good amount of straight guys who have. and you saying “claim to be straighter than i am” just completely invalidate their sexual orientation. like i said before, the porn you watch doesn’t dictate your sexual orientation. so you can be the straightest person and watch gay porn, or you can be the gayest person and only watch striaght porn. or you can,like me, be straight and watch what ever porn you want cus who cares.
- Date posted
- 5y
@SteelersFan1998 well, it’s always good to be mindful. remember this next time, cus it really doesn’t matter what you watch, we as humans are sexual beings and will get turned on by most things that are sexual, doesn’t mean we want to do it. i read this thing and it was about people who have to make court cases and they have to see videos of people getting raped and they experience some arousal but they feel in complete distress mentally
- Date posted
- 5y
Hello, this is literally my exact situation! I also experimented with my friends at a young age and we did quite inappropriate things but didn’t really understand what we were doing just knew it felt good. My brain bullies me for this and makes me feel extremely guilty and repulsed by the experience. You’re not alone and my HOCD loves to make me feel so so bad about and has manipulated it into something it wasn’t!
- Date posted
- 5y
Oh my goodness I can’t explain how much I relate to this, I think I might cry. I feel the exact same way! I have a boyfriend who loves me sooo much and I’ve only ever had crushes on boys but then all of a sudden my brain will be like “you’re absolutely gay and here’s why”
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
- Date posted
- 13w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 13w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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