- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I completely understand that. I do similar and sometimes things that my partner may have done pop into my head and I end up over analysing it until I’ve convinced myself he’s done something wrong. Once I snap out of the thought I can see it’s crazy that I spent so long on it and built it up in my head but it can really bring my mood down. OCD sucks
- Date posted
- 5y
My partner is fantastic, I’m lucky I can talk to him about anything. Sometimes he can sense I’m different to him or have something on my mind and when I tell him why he’s often surprised how much headspace I have given it when really it wasn’t important at the time and just happened to pop into my head. Your not a terrible person at all. You know you would never follow up on them. Don’t punish yourself. Sometimes I wonder if these thoughts are me trying to punish myself or sabotage what I have because I’m actually happy.
- Date posted
- 5y
I had this too and i sabotaged it entirely recently. I hope if I find a partner like this again I will be in a healthier place individually to accept it and enjoy the safe place to grow.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah I totally relate to that. I do get spin offs, I can build up whole scenarios in my mind and get myself really worked up and upset. The worst time for my mind is when I’m washing up, cleaning or doing something mindless and then click I’m overthinking and playing out these scenarios. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s me torturing myself, I just wish I knew why I was doing it
- Date posted
- 5y
I saw a meme and it said “quit imagining scenarios in your head and hurting your own feelings”.... I started bawling crying. I wish I could. I’m trying.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes I struggle with this greatly. It’s good to know I’m not alone
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah you’re not thanks for letting us know we’re not alone too!
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey, yeah I have a lot of different relationship type themes that come and go at different times but the last few days that one has been strong. It makes me feel like a terrible person and makes me think I shouldn’t be with such a nice girl if thoughts like that are in my head. Even though I know they’re intrusive and I would never act on them or even put myself in a position to act on them it feels just as bad even thinking that way and not being able to be totally sure it’s your ocd. Ahhh so you kind of get it both ways? Good to remind yourself that partners aren’t likely to analyse everything like us and will just know when they’ve acted in the right way.
- Date posted
- 5y
Mines is too, but I can tell it does still upset her too when I give into the compulsions and say what it is I’ve been thinking. She handles it so well and as best she can but I know it still can’t be nice to hear those sorts of things a lot. Do you ever get like spin offs from worries? As in something will pop into your head and then something ten times worse will come from that just randomly and it will snowball into something much more uncomfortable? Like it gets worse because you acknowledge the original thought and your mind just does what it can to make it much worse? Yeah I totally get that whenever I’m happy or maybe even just not worrying or obesssing I feel really on edge like something is wrong and that results in me finding something to worry about anyway it’s like my brain doesn’t like not having something to feed on so picks something horrible
- Date posted
- 5y
always here on this post for support too
Related posts
- Date posted
- 11w
I am in a relationship but I cannot stop getting thoughts about this new coworker I met, my mind convinces me they are so attractive and so great and I hate it so much. My current relationship has its imperfections (as every one does) but I am so happy with her and have always been so loyal. Would OCD target those imperfections and exploit this situation? Additionally I believe I’m feeling ROCD fears of cheating but I know in every opportunity I’ve talked with other women I am loyal to my partner by bringing her up. Does anyone experience the same thing? Is this really OCD or other subconscious intrusive thinking?
- Date posted
- 8w
Hi I'm new to all of this so I hope I'm doing this right. 5 years ago my 34 year marriage ended. My ex husband was a mentally and financially abusive, covert narcissist. All that is behind me now and I'm finally remembering who I am again. I'm in a relationship with a really great guy but the problem I'm having is relationship OCD. This has taken me by surprise really as I've had OCD from a very young age but never has it been about my relationship. I constantly check messages and go over and over conversations and convince myself my partner will eventually cheat. Almost every single person in his life I can feel threatened by and I hate this for him and also for me as I don't have any peace of mind. This is ruining the lovely relationship I know I could have so I really need to get a handle on it. Has anybody else experienced this and managed to control it?
- Date posted
- 6w
Hey, I really need your opinion – I think I might be struggling with Relationship OCD, and these thoughts are driving me crazy. I’ve been officially diagnosed with OCD, and I believe I also have ROCD. My obsessive thoughts often focus on one specific girl from my boyfriend’s past. She had messaged him a few times, and I think she liked him – but he never liked her back. He barely knew her, never found her attractive, and never wanted anything with her. She’s just a good friend of his best friend – not an ex or anything like that. He told me that he happened to be in the same group as her a couple of times – once at a birthday party and once at a fair – just because his best friend brought her along. He made it clear several times that she’s not his type at all, neither in looks nor in personality. He described her as someone who likes to go out and party a lot, and said that’s just not what he’s into. He also said he didn’t ask about her – these things were mentioned to him before our relationship. Almost all of this happened before we met – except for one thing: the fair. That was just one day before our second date, back when we had just started getting to know each other. She was with his friend group that night. He said he only said hi and bye to her, nothing more. The next day, when we met again, we were talking about his friends’ heights. He casually mentioned that his friend was the same height as that girl – 1.70 m. Ever since, I keep wondering: If she meant nothing to him, why did he even talk about her? Or did he actually talk to her that night, even though he said he didn’t? I know he said they barely exchanged a word, but somehow he still knew that detail. I just find that strange. Another example: He once said she was “kind of slutty.” Then, one or two months later, when I brought it up again, he said he didn’t know if she was or not, and that he didn’t care at all. That really confused me. I keep wondering: Why did he say something like that in the first place if he supposedly doesn’t care about her? I also notice this really frustrating cycle: When I talk to him about something that doesn’t make sense to me, I feel brief relief. But then, almost immediately, another thought or detail pops up that feels “off” again – and I feel like I have to bring that up, too. I can’t tolerate the uncertainty. It’s like an endless loop. These little “inconsistencies” – or what I perceive as inconsistencies – make me spiral, even though I do believe he’s being honest with me. I want to trust him. But I have this constant urge to bring up every little thing that doesn’t feel logically right. Every detail stays in my head for days, and it’s really hard not to talk about it. Does this sound like Relationship OCD to you? Do any of you go through this constant analyzing and doubt? I’d really appreciate your thoughts. I’m slowly ruining my own relationship..
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