You know what I'm done with everyone in my life. No one understands and worse they dont want to take the time to understand. So I'm taking a vow of silence. I'm done talking with no one listening. This is officially my only outlet and even then I'm too scared of offending someone. I'm not brave enough to take my life because of the catholic guilt of going to hell so here I am.

Hi Tori...you're so sweet. I've got tears thinking that someone can be so kind to me. Thank you for your kind words. My husband is saying I'm attacking him bc I've repeatedly encouraged him to download this app so he can better understand me and he just wont do it. But he says he loves me so much and all that. He feels attacked? I attack myself everyday all the time and I'm supposed to feel bad for him??? This app has helped me so much and I really feel that if he read some posts he would see I'm not some kind of alien. Then my mom, my poor mom she understands the most but I explode on her out of nowhere which makes me feel horrible guilt making me think no one should love me. It's just my brain doesnt stop so things set me off and I understand that's not fair to them I really do. But its it's not fair to me. So ocd is messing me up and those I love and at the end I'm responsible bc ocd isn't tangible. It's a vicious cycle. Its better not to talk to anyone and just seclude yourself. I always swore that talking and communicating can fix things. It doesnt..not for me.

@poohbear21 You are welcome in every way because guess what? We are CALLED to love one another. & it’s my favorite thing to do. Also, this sounds devastating. What a heavy burden to carry. My story is similar. I am only 18, but I tend to bombard my mom for reassurance & it takes a toll on our relationship. But she still chooses to love me every day. She is a wonderful mama. I could never ask for a better one. She has, however, been through a nearly identical struggle to mine when she was around my age. So when I constantly push her, she says it’s like post-traumatic stress flashbacks. She has come through such a hard time in her life, but me always asking her for help does tend to drain her even if she doesn’t want it to. After all, she is just a person. I encourage you to start doing a morning devotional. Mom suggested that to me, & it helps a lot. I used to struggle with guilt from my thoughts torturing me when I am trying to devote my time to worshipping Jesus, but as I am maturing, I realize God already knows my heart & how much I love & adore Him, & that I do NOT mean the thoughts that bully me. Hang in there sister. My Instagram is in my bio on here, feel free to direct message me. ?

Thank you! *sends hugs*?

Breathe. This too shall pass. ♥️ Sorry to heat how you are suffering, I have been there. But guess what? It never lasted forever. Hang in there. ♥️