Y’all, I am asking for some help. The media uproar going on about race right now is REALLY triggering my OCD. It feels like the entire white population is being labeled a bully. I am trying to do better in areas where I feel like I have given into stigmas, but I know over all I love EVERYONE. It’s just overwhelming to have everybody yelling at you from their Instagram posts all at once. Plus a loved one is dying. Please help. I feel like I am spiraling & I am so confused in this battle.

I’ve been spiraling since a workplace incident last Thursday. I had an uncomfortable and tense interaction with a colleague, and it triggered a lot of obsessive rumination. I spent the whole weekend crying, panicking, and replaying everything that happened. Today, I went back to work — and it was really hard. Everyone acted like nothing happened. They joke with him, treat him normally, even though he bullied me and I’m just… sitting there. I didn’t greet him, and he didn’t greet me. I kept to myself, answered questions when I had to, but didn’t socialize. Now I feel scared. Like I’m walking on eggshells. I keep thinking: “What if I say something wrong?” “What if I make a mistake and they say, ‘You see? She’s the problem’? Acting holier than thou & she's a bigot too!" I know this is partly my OCD and trauma talking, but it feels so real. Like I’m one wrong move away from being blamed or alienated. I’ve even started eating lunch in my car to feel safe. I’m trying so hard to hold boundaries, stay professional, and protect my peace. But I’m exhausted. I feel like a shell of myself and I’m scared I’ll break. I was already a little on eggshells cause most of my colleagues say or do something bigoted every now & then...my bigotry ocd is always scared that when I don't confront them. I'm condoning it & becoming them. I'm exhausted. I want to work remotely so I can stay isolated from people. I don't think I'll ever heal from this. I feel like this incident is one of those that permanently changes you. Like when my parents & siblings says I'm not the same anymore. I'm more panicked etc.

I'm doing a lot better with my OCD episode but I'm finding it hard to cope with what's happening in my country. It's hard because it is scary and people keep telling me I should be afraid. That everything is over and it's the apocalypse. I don't think it's productive to be gripped with terror but I don't know how to calm down.

I feel unbelievably stressed out all the time, especially in the state of the world today. It seems like every time I open social media I’m shown grief in every capacity of life. What is happening here (the US), what’s happening overseas, etc. I have no idea how to navigate how I’m supposed to build a life and my career when it feels like the world is sort of falling apart around me. I feel really depressed and hopeless about it. I think it’s really easy to self isolate, especially being diagnosed with a deeply internalized anxiety disorder like OCD, and I’m just curious I how many people are feeling it too? I deeply crave community and I find it harder more and more everyday to get myself to a point where I even feel like it’ll do any good. I know this isn’t the first time in history that people have had to try to figure out some kind of normalcy in the face of political turbulence.. but with how much news and information we’re getting at every second of every day, I’m wondering if there is more damage being done than what we realize. It feels completely irresponsible to ignore everything that’s happening around me, but it’s overwhelming and making it to the point where I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.