Does anyone else have this problem? So I feel like all my crushes were either just in my head or forced. I think they were genuine, but HOCD is now using everything against me. It feels like I was never attracted to boys in the first place and that I was only aesthetically attracted to them. I'm scared, it feels too real!!! I looked at my crush and smiled but it felt forced. Then I get thoughts about attraction "what if you only like him for his looks?" "what if you forced yourself to like him by dreaming about him?" "what if you never liked him and is using this as an excuse?" I'm terrified .... what if i never liked him in the first place. What if this a sign of comphet?

I’m sorry you read it. It was not a nice or helpful thing to be posted. Try and breath through it, keep your head up.

It sucks but it passes. If you can do something else or breathe until that anxiety fades away. No compulsions during this time if possible.

I remember the first I read about comphet and I cried so hard :(. I couldn't stand it at all. I'm sorry you feel like that right now. Idek why she would post that :(. If you don't mind could I ask something? What was it really about? :(. Im actually scared to read it. I'm very sorry for asking and if I'm triggering you again :(

@sanzida? Hey correct me if I‘m wrong but I think you‘re trying just like me to reassure yourself and find certainty. Therefor I won‘t go into detail but unless you are planning to use it as an exposure I wouldn‘t suggest reading it because it‘ll just send you back into the spiral. Ocd sucks. Of you want to talk I‘m here for you

@Heleni Ahh okay thank you. I was just curious to read it :(. I guess it would be reassurance since I wanted to see if I matched up with the signs :(

@sanzida? Actually it‘s pretty good that you noticed that it would have been for reassurance :)

It’s great you were able to use it as an exposure. It’s only using it as reassurance that it’s a problem. I read it to and I laughed actually. I’m extremely uncomfortable around guys but that’s because I was raised in a family of only females and feel more comfortable around women and boys never approached me so I was literally frightened when one did because i didn’t know how to react. But I knew I didn’t want to romantically or sexually be with a woman. I wanted a man. Is that compulsory? Maybe. Does that make me a lesbian? Maybe or maybe not. You can do things on this list and that does not make you a lesbian or not. Great for you for practicing ERP.

@Anonymous Thank you! I get how you feel and relate; the stuff on the document is so interwoven with symptoms of HOCD that i think it’d be a waste of any of our time to try to figure out whether we relate to that list or not!