- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah, the last week my anxiety went down and I tried to stay away from looking online etc But recently I looked up sex offences etc and that's what sent me into panic. I know they say it's more sexual Intercourse with an animal That's bad but I was still sexual so that's why I worried. I've told a doctor and a consultant for therapy and they both said as long as its it's not something I'm doing now but I cant get the fear out of my head that I'm a monster and I'll be reported
- Date posted
- 5y
@BrainH20 Yeah I did, they were fine about it and just said it's in the past. I still ended up on a massive downward spiral even though I was reassured. My brain has managed to pick up on other things that I regret and straight away I feel like I have to confess and I've realised that once I do it I get relief for about a week then it comes back. I'm so fed up with it at the minute. Like I'm not necessarily worried about anything in particular but I still feel really anxious and i hate it as I can feel my mind searching for something.
- Date posted
- 5y
@b2192 That’s EXACTLY how I am!!! We should be friends lol
- Date posted
- 5y
@BrainH20 Well whenever you need to talk I am always here as it's always good to have someone you can relate to. I always feel so alone. I cant stand that my ocd constantly tries to find things that I can confess to or tries to make me feel terrible for things that I've done in the past that I'm ashamed of
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey, I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I don't want to give you reassurance here as you're clearly engaging in checking compulsions and reassurance seeking around an intrusive thought. Have you had any therapy for your OCD? Can you apply what you've learned to what's going on now?
- Date posted
- 5y
No I havent. I know your not supposed to give reassurance but I need to know if this is something I can discuss with a therapist.
- Date posted
- 5y
Ah I see. I'm only going to say this once though: Your therapist is not going to report you for that. Lots and lots of people do this stuff, it's probably a lot more common than you think. You haven't harmed anyone or the dog. You were just doing some experimenting....which is a totally human thing ? Find yourself a therapist!
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks for letting me know. I've got two kids and the guilt from doing this is absoloutly destroying me and I just want to work out why I thought this was normal, the reason why I want therapy. I just want to feel normal again. Thanks again !
- Date posted
- 5y
There's a an awful lot of shame around sexuality and experimentation. There's nothing wrong with what you did. Human sexuality is crazy and varied and diverse and unless you're outright causing harm, it's All Good. I'm not a therapist, but it does sound like you're struggling with compulsions to try and lessen the guilt/anxiety around this memory/thought. A therapist can absolutely help you with this. Can you use the therapy on this app?
- Date posted
- 5y
Sounds like you have some triggers around this stuff that's setting you off. Try your very best to avoid doing the checking and looking things up, because it will just maintain the cycle and increase your anxiety.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks.
- Date posted
- 5y
This is real event/ moral scrupulosity ocd. You deserve to see an ocd specialist who can help you with erp for this theme of ocd. I have the same one. It’s not easy, and doesn’t go away, but it can get more manageable.
- Date posted
- 5y
Erp, erp, and more erp. Haha It’s sucky work and DOES NOT feel good in the short term, but helps in the long term. You have to sit with the discomfort of your worst fears by script writing, listening to recordings over and over, and/ or just agreeing with your thoughts. Visualization helps too. She told me to think of my ocd as a swinging door because it comes and goes. (Or a cloud or balloon) I tried a dumpster but she explained how that’s trying to get rid of the thoughts, which doesn’t work. You need to practice acceptance and self compassion. Labeling the thoughts as ocd also helps gain some distance from them.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
tw: nsfw 17f I have a real even ocd from a sexual event with an animal (my cat) from where I was younger. Remembering it ruined my life and made it a living hell. It was bad. It's not one of those innocent events people always assume because I have ocd and then they get all surprised when it was actually bad and sexual. (animal wasn't harmed though) So basically I developed I fear of interacting or even looking at animals after I remembered so I was avoiding my cat like crazy, but then I realized that it's cruel to ignore an animal who wants love and attention, so I forced myself to overcome it kinda. I basically downloaded a habit tracker where I mark when I was able to pet my cat cause while it's triggering I want to give my cat love and I'm trying to pet her everyday So yesterday I was petting the cat. And she was extremely enthusiastic about it. Like she was almost throwing herself on me to get more pets like kinda agressive at this point to get pets. I started thinking how animals go in heat in spring. But she is like sterilized so I wasnt sure its possible for her. Like maybe they are just more active in spring? But what if the pets are somehow sexual for the cat? Then I thought maybe I shouldn't pet her then cause that's wrong. But then I thought like who cares and also then it will be like this the whole spring should I just not touch her the whole spring and ignore her again? I was also tired a bit so I wasn't thinking it all through that much Now I'm freaking out so bad. Like I knew there was a possibility that it was sexual for the cat and still continued petting her I didn't stop. It's so bad. Like I thought its whatever since it's not sexual for me but now I'm freaking out. Like the whole me being a better person and learning on my mistakes after that one earlier event was for nothing if I was able to do something like this I'm freaking out so bad
- Date posted
- 25w
I’m worried about times when Child P*rn or suspicious porn videos have come up in the past. I tend to use Twitter for porn and it’s not the most moderated app out there but I was never looking for videos or pictures or anything related to that. Unfortunately stuff still has popped up and I’m just worried about if my reaction was perfect because I have intense POCD I want to say it’s nearly as severe as it can get so I just feel as if I remember times when something suspicious came up and I stayed for a moment to make sure I wasn’t attracted or maybe left and came back to be sure I was safe and didn’t like it and I’m afraid this counts as seeking out or engaging in illegal content that would get me in trouble. I’ve never once looked this stuff up and anyone who creates saves distributed or likes this stuff I believe deserves prison time for life but I’m just so worried that I didn’t react in the way I should’ve I’m 20 years old so I’m relatively young and I’m jus worried about what this means about me any one else deal with anything similar?
- Date posted
- 21w
18+ TW! Involves sexual content I have learning disabilities which means im always going to be 3-5 years mentally behind from my actual age… when I was 14 I remember finding people saying they work with kids “attractive” and I remember mastu*** over a kid around 5+ but when I was 14 I was either mentally age 11 or 9. So I didn’t know it was wrong, and as soon as I realised I stopped. People say I was young and it’s okay but I remember finding people saying they even walked past a nursery “attractive” but I don’t know if this is even the right word. Maybe cute? Because I find different emotions hard to tell the difference between, so maybe it’s cute rather than attractive. I never ever had intentions to do anything to younger individuals, it was just me finding people saying they worked with them etc attractive… which my ocd now plays on, because my friend mentioned they were working with kids but idk if it was the real me or not but I genuinely felt like I found it attractive and it was giving my so many groinal responses which then made me feel genuinely aroused like I wanted to do things. This plays on my mind because my ocd will always say “but you did/do find stuff like this attractive” but this literally stops me from eating, sleeping or anything. I can’t break from my compultions because what if I do genuinely find it attractive. I don’t think it’s even attractive maybe it’s cute? Like I find it cute… but cuteness can give people feelings down there I guess. I think because if my learning disabilities I found it hard to know the difference between “attraction” and cute so I did stuff over it because it gave me that feeling down there but that could of been cuteness feeling. I just need some support on this.
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