- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yeah, the last week my anxiety went down and I tried to stay away from looking online etc But recently I looked up sex offences etc and that's what sent me into panic. I know they say it's more sexual Intercourse with an animal That's bad but I was still sexual so that's why I worried. I've told a doctor and a consultant for therapy and they both said as long as its it's not something I'm doing now but I cant get the fear out of my head that I'm a monster and I'll be reported
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BrainH20 Yeah I did, they were fine about it and just said it's in the past. I still ended up on a massive downward spiral even though I was reassured. My brain has managed to pick up on other things that I regret and straight away I feel like I have to confess and I've realised that once I do it I get relief for about a week then it comes back. I'm so fed up with it at the minute. Like I'm not necessarily worried about anything in particular but I still feel really anxious and i hate it as I can feel my mind searching for something.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@b2192 That’s EXACTLY how I am!!! We should be friends lol
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BrainH20 Well whenever you need to talk I am always here as it's always good to have someone you can relate to. I always feel so alone. I cant stand that my ocd constantly tries to find things that I can confess to or tries to make me feel terrible for things that I've done in the past that I'm ashamed of
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Hey, I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I don't want to give you reassurance here as you're clearly engaging in checking compulsions and reassurance seeking around an intrusive thought. Have you had any therapy for your OCD? Can you apply what you've learned to what's going on now?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
No I havent. I know your not supposed to give reassurance but I need to know if this is something I can discuss with a therapist.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Ah I see. I'm only going to say this once though: Your therapist is not going to report you for that. Lots and lots of people do this stuff, it's probably a lot more common than you think. You haven't harmed anyone or the dog. You were just doing some experimenting....which is a totally human thing ? Find yourself a therapist!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thanks for letting me know. I've got two kids and the guilt from doing this is absoloutly destroying me and I just want to work out why I thought this was normal, the reason why I want therapy. I just want to feel normal again. Thanks again !
- Date posted
- 4y ago
There's a an awful lot of shame around sexuality and experimentation. There's nothing wrong with what you did. Human sexuality is crazy and varied and diverse and unless you're outright causing harm, it's All Good. I'm not a therapist, but it does sound like you're struggling with compulsions to try and lessen the guilt/anxiety around this memory/thought. A therapist can absolutely help you with this. Can you use the therapy on this app?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Sounds like you have some triggers around this stuff that's setting you off. Try your very best to avoid doing the checking and looking things up, because it will just maintain the cycle and increase your anxiety.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thanks.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
This is real event/ moral scrupulosity ocd. You deserve to see an ocd specialist who can help you with erp for this theme of ocd. I have the same one. It’s not easy, and doesn’t go away, but it can get more manageable.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Erp, erp, and more erp. Haha It’s sucky work and DOES NOT feel good in the short term, but helps in the long term. You have to sit with the discomfort of your worst fears by script writing, listening to recordings over and over, and/ or just agreeing with your thoughts. Visualization helps too. She told me to think of my ocd as a swinging door because it comes and goes. (Or a cloud or balloon) I tried a dumpster but she explained how that’s trying to get rid of the thoughts, which doesn’t work. You need to practice acceptance and self compassion. Labeling the thoughts as ocd also helps gain some distance from them.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w ago
Trying not to seek reassurance, but rather connect the dots on my OCD and possible reasons as to why I am the way I am. I have severe OCD (or at least I hope I do) mainly surrounding POCD. I've had symptoms of OCD the majority of my life but this theme has come up more recently. When I was a kid, and i'm talking 6-7, I was first exposed to some really gross adult content online. It was introduced to me by a friend of mine around the same age of me. I saw some really disgusting things that a 6-7 year old should definitely not see. This was not a one time occurrence, as I had been exposed to taboo topics online years to come after that, such as the same friend introducing me to Omegle... And i'm sure you can imagine how that went, theres a lot of genuinely disgusting human beings on there. Coming back to the reason for making this post; is it possible to early exposure to this content could be one of the reasons I struggle with POCD? It genuinely scares me to death because you hear that real p*dos dealt with simular situations when they were kids, so thats kind of making me feel that this could be more than OCD, and I could be a genuinely bad person. My POCD feels so real, that at times i'm fully convinced its not OCD. Sometimes I can't even distinguish the feelings of attraction between a younger person and an older person, except for the feeling of anxiety and fear. Its really hard to explain without going into detail, but it just feels so real. Some feedback on this would be great, thank you all.
- Young adults with OCD
- Students with OCD
- False Memory OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- POCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Date posted
- 10w ago
Being exposed to taboo p*rn as young as first grade ruined my life and now ocd is making me pay for it. I have so much guilt for being a child/teen and looking at taboo stuff, and it was all fictional or anime or whatever but it was still so so gross. and I didn't realize It because I had been used to it at so young 🫠 I think what haunts me most is when I was a kid/young teen (like 12-14ish) and didn't have access to p*rn I'd imagine stuff similar to what I'd seen in the art. I can't even believe I'd imagine scenarios involving kid characters or whatever because it had been so normalized to me and I assumed it was normal since it was fiction. I'm 23 now so it's been a decade since I've done anything like that and I've never had the urge to since but still. I've NEVER been attracted to kids or had any urges or anything ever, even when I was addicted. The thought makes me want to vomit, I'd rather die than associate anything sexual with kids/minors and I think people who groom or assault kids are vile. But I still feel like the fact that I imagined stuff similar to the things I read sometimes when I was young is proof I'm a p*do. I don't think people would believe me if I said I'm not. I just feel like I don't deserve to live or that if I do, I'm living a lie. I know 'I was a kid too' but even when I was 13/14 I read/imagined stuff with characters younger than me because I thought it was normal. I'm so disgusted. I've had this theme for so long I'm starting to wonder if ocd is right. I feel too ashamed to tell my therapist.
- Date posted
- 8w ago
(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.
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