- Username
- b2192
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yeah, the last week my anxiety went down and I tried to stay away from looking online etc But recently I looked up sex offences etc and that's what sent me into panic. I know they say it's more sexual Intercourse with an animal That's bad but I was still sexual so that's why I worried. I've told a doctor and a consultant for therapy and they both said as long as its it's not something I'm doing now but I cant get the fear out of my head that I'm a monster and I'll be reported
@BrainH20 Yeah I did, they were fine about it and just said it's in the past. I still ended up on a massive downward spiral even though I was reassured. My brain has managed to pick up on other things that I regret and straight away I feel like I have to confess and I've realised that once I do it I get relief for about a week then it comes back. I'm so fed up with it at the minute. Like I'm not necessarily worried about anything in particular but I still feel really anxious and i hate it as I can feel my mind searching for something.
@b2192 That’s EXACTLY how I am!!! We should be friends lol
@BrainH20 Well whenever you need to talk I am always here as it's always good to have someone you can relate to. I always feel so alone. I cant stand that my ocd constantly tries to find things that I can confess to or tries to make me feel terrible for things that I've done in the past that I'm ashamed of
Hey, I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I don't want to give you reassurance here as you're clearly engaging in checking compulsions and reassurance seeking around an intrusive thought. Have you had any therapy for your OCD? Can you apply what you've learned to what's going on now?
No I havent. I know your not supposed to give reassurance but I need to know if this is something I can discuss with a therapist.
Ah I see. I'm only going to say this once though: Your therapist is not going to report you for that. Lots and lots of people do this stuff, it's probably a lot more common than you think. You haven't harmed anyone or the dog. You were just doing some experimenting....which is a totally human thing ? Find yourself a therapist!
Thanks for letting me know. I've got two kids and the guilt from doing this is absoloutly destroying me and I just want to work out why I thought this was normal, the reason why I want therapy. I just want to feel normal again. Thanks again !
There's a an awful lot of shame around sexuality and experimentation. There's nothing wrong with what you did. Human sexuality is crazy and varied and diverse and unless you're outright causing harm, it's All Good. I'm not a therapist, but it does sound like you're struggling with compulsions to try and lessen the guilt/anxiety around this memory/thought. A therapist can absolutely help you with this. Can you use the therapy on this app?
Sounds like you have some triggers around this stuff that's setting you off. Try your very best to avoid doing the checking and looking things up, because it will just maintain the cycle and increase your anxiety.
Thanks.
This is real event/ moral scrupulosity ocd. You deserve to see an ocd specialist who can help you with erp for this theme of ocd. I have the same one. It’s not easy, and doesn’t go away, but it can get more manageable.
Erp, erp, and more erp. Haha It’s sucky work and DOES NOT feel good in the short term, but helps in the long term. You have to sit with the discomfort of your worst fears by script writing, listening to recordings over and over, and/ or just agreeing with your thoughts. Visualization helps too. She told me to think of my ocd as a swinging door because it comes and goes. (Or a cloud or balloon) I tried a dumpster but she explained how that’s trying to get rid of the thoughts, which doesn’t work. You need to practice acceptance and self compassion. Labeling the thoughts as ocd also helps gain some distance from them.
My OCD has swapped around in the past- primarily focused on HOCD and then I just accepted maybe I was attracted to both men and women, (men primarily, women only sexually occasionally) after I had sex with a girl - I didn’t know at the time it was OCD - and now it has focused on beastiality. I’m terrified. I hate HATE to admit this but when I was younger I let a dog lick my private area, and ever since I can’t stop thinking maybe that was because I wanted it? Even though I know deep down it was just sexual curiosity - the actual act of intimacy and not the animal, but now I get scared. In the past few years I have seen images and checked my groinal response, sometimes I can get really aroused and I feel disgusting. I love animals, I would never want to hurt them in anyway, I don’t know whether I just have a fixation on the idea of having sex that is intense - sort of like a ‘I need you now’ thing - as comes with the term ‘doggy style’ but then this just makes me think maybe it’s all rooted down to animals? I’m so honestly terrified I feel like the government will arrest me based on searches of laws and me trying to figure out if I’m attracted to animals going on forums etc. I once read an erotic literature page and it had a beastiality section, I looked at it and was repulsed but again my groinal response was different. I feel so guilty, but I can’t tell if this is my OCD or if I am actually attracted to animals. I would NEVER have sex with one, the idea repulses me, but somehow I can get aroused by the stories (not particularly the images) and I’m so stressed and upset I don’t know what to do I’m too scared to tell my therapist incase they lock me up for it and it hinders my future jobs :(
Everytime I think of beastiality and I give into my ocd I end up researching it and checking my arousal on videos etc I always feel really aroused. It's always dogs licking woman down below or sniffing there crotch and I dont want to be aroused by these things. Does this sound like I just enjoy these things or ocd ?
So years ago when I was a teenager there was a point in time where I watched pornography that had to do with animals and people. There were also a few times throughout my teenage years where I tried things out of curiosity and while I was watching this type of porn I had some desire/urge to try stuff but I never did. Then it stopped. I was probably 16 and stopped. It’s been almost 4 years since I watched that stuff or did anything, and I never even thought about it. Then OCD hit. And I ruminated about all those things I watched did. It always filled me with anxiety and disgust. Then yesterday I remembered an image I saw when watching that and got an erection. It was accompanied with anxiety but it felt as if I wanted to search it up or do it. Now all day today I’ve had horrible anxiety accompanied with that urge. Is this OCD or should I look into therapy for paraphilia?
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