I feel an intense need to be sure I find crimes immoral. My OCD tells me if I’m not 100% sure I find a crime morally despicable it means I will probably do it. For example, my reasoning for not wanting to hurt children is because “it’s wrong” but I don’t even know what that means. I know I don’t want to do it but I don’t know WHY. I feel such a strong need to know WHY it’s wrong and I’m scared I don’t know that reason! Has anyone else experienced this? I’m so worried

I've always experienced this along with my moral OCD!

Ocd wants us to have certainty. We need to just accept the uncertain

Most things we consider are immoral are down to the golden rule: treating others as you'd want to be treated. Stealing isn't ok because it deprives and harms others. Assault isn't ok because it causes pain. Sexual abuse of minors isn't ok because it causes trauma and pain which can haunt them for a very long time. An additional element to many crimes is social stigma- we are less inclined to do them if we think doing them would be judged harshly. Fear of judgement is not selfish it's just normal. As for "morally despicable"... I'm pretty sure we can all agree that some things are more immoral than others. Because they cause more harm. Despicable is a very loaded word in this context. Not all crimes or are created equal. Plus, what people consider moral/immoral/harmful varies MASSIVELY across countries, cultures, eras and even things like religious beliefs, so what 'moral standard' are you even trying to stick to? As there is no ultimate, universal authority or rulebook yo. And some laws are symbolic and ultimately kinda stupid and have little to do with harm or morals. Even individuals within a culture disagree all the time about 'moral' issues. Just look at the divided opinions about marijuana and the racist agenda of the law in the first place. Anyway, your need to know why something is morally unacceptable sounds for sure like it's OCD. Because the question it's asking doesn't even make sense. Stuff could be called wrong if you believe it causes harm, harm is "bad" because, well, punch yourself in the face and see if it feels good. I think you're trying to check whether you have an inherent sense of morality which lines up acceptably with your culture, because the alternative is that you only don't do bad things because of fear of judgment and punishment or of being treated the same way back. The most likely answer is that it's a bit of both. It can even be argued that even an internal moral compass of not wanting to cause others harm is still selfish at its core, because unless you're a sadist, hurting others usually makes us feel unhappy and anxious and guilty. We could argue that being good is an attempt to avoid those feelings. Evolutionary psychology suggests that our "tit for that" morality (the golden rule) developed over millennia since before we had culture, as a group survival strategy. It's also seen in other social species. If I help others, they're more likely to help me when I need help. If I hurt others, they wont help me when I need it so I might get eaten by a predator. So individuals more inclined to behave according to the golden rule, which could be originally due to something as basic as a tendency to copy what other individuals do, are more likely to live longer and have babies, their genes (and their propensity to do that tit for tat behaviour) live on in the next generation and so on. So eventually it's just a part of our DNA to behave in a prosocial way, and the link between behaving badly towards others and negative emotional feedback became wired into our feelings over the generations. That's the best guess science has to offer, if you're really looking for a "reason" why you dont want to hurt other people. Other people pick gods. So my guess is that sure, you think some particular stuff is wrong because you've been told it and seen it treated as wrong in your culture all your life, and if you were in a different culture you might feel differently about it. My guess is also that the reason things causing harm like assault, theft and murder are considered immoral across all cultures is because of that process of evolutionary psychology, and that part of your aversion to harming others is fear of the consequences for you. Ultimately it doesn't matter what exact combination of those things it's down to. Morality isn't programmed into the fabric of reality. There literally is no "why". Plenty of smart old men with beards have spent their lives trying to answer the question and had no luck. Best thing to do with intrusive accusations like "you want to do that thing" any time you question how you feel about something, is to not answer it or ruminate on it or try to prove it wrong or investigate your feelings looking for reassurance that they are perfectly in line with your culture's attitude. Since there's no such thing as an ultimate moral code and it's just a concept, it makes no sense, and will continue to prove fruitless, to attempt to put everything into boxes so that you can be confident of being in an acceptable box. Pick what you think is the most beneficial-for-all way to behave in the context of your culture, your beliefs, your life and your feelings towards others, and do that. Nobody is ever going to be able to assure you that you're doing everything right and being a perfect person, and it's not going to help you out to try to assure yourself. If you're academically inclined, I recommend Carl Jung's stuff on integrating the shadow, it's all about shining a light on the parts of you which are selfish or proud or mean, not so you can get rid of them, but so that you can accept them as human elements of your personality and be more aware of them and make better decisions about when to listen to what they have to say and when not to, instead of acting on them thoughtlessly (which is the inevitable result of attempts to deny or reject their existence).

Wow! I have had this same thing happen to me!! Don't know if you are still on this app but glad to know I'm not alone. Lmk if you gave any tips!!